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Evidence of Advantages for Children of Working Mothers

nytimes.com

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Re: Evidence of Advantages for Children of Working Mothers

#11

Post by 300bps »

rayiner wrote: post #4

I never understood the idea that having mom (or dad) at home is the best thing for kids. When our daughter is at daycare, she's in a very stimulating environment staffed by energetic 22-year olds on 6 hour shifts. When she's at home with me my instinct is to bribe her with some ice cream and park her in front of her iPad. My wife has slightly more desire to engage with the kid, but no more energy for it--she's pretty…

I have three children aged 10, 9 and 6. I work and my wife stays home with the kids. I don't pretend to know what is right for everyone and their kids but I found your comment oddly disturbing.

When I'm home with my three kids, my instinct is to think of the skills that will aid them later in life and work on that through various levels of play. Often that's sports - practicing basketball, baseball or whatever sport they happen to be doing at the time. Other times that's academics where if I know they're having a problem with sight words or multiplication I will work on that with them. Sometimes it's just playing video games together.

Looking back on being a father I think to the things that they do on a daily basis and remember, "My wife and I taught them to do that." All the time spent working with them on crawling, walking, talking and everything since then has created fantastic memories I wouldn't trade for anything.

Re: Evidence of Advantages for Children of Working Mothers

#12

Post by danieltillett »

fulafel wrote: post #6
smackay wrote: post #2

The article does not mention it but where are the kids when the mother is at work? More than likely this is in day-care rather than in the home of another family member (most likely the grandparents). The likelihood is that the kids are in a richer environment, materially and socially. When you mix in the added benefit of parents not having spent all day dealing with the childens' needs then it's no surprise that gen…

This is also a good argument for providing free or heavily subsidized daycare to children whose parents are unemployed or outside the workforce.

What argument?

Re: Evidence of Advantages for Children of Working Mothers

#13

Post by eru »

danieltillett wrote: post #10
rayiner wrote: post #4

I never understood the idea that having mom (or dad) at home is the best thing for kids. When our daughter is at daycare, she's in a very stimulating environment staffed by energetic 22-year olds on 6 hour shifts. When she's at home with me my instinct is to bribe her with some ice cream and park her in front of her iPad. My wife has slightly more desire to engage with the kid, but no more energy for it--she's pretty…

I am curious why you think a 22 year old on near minimum wage cares more about engaging with your daughter than you and your wife?

rayiner might not be in a country that pays minimum wage for daycare. (Some countries don't even have a minimum wage, and some even pay their daycarers decent money.)

Re: Evidence of Advantages for Children of Working Mothers

#14

Post by m-i-l »

"it is difficult to know whether a mother who worked caused her daughter to work, or whether other factors were more influential" - reminds me of the "An Eleanor is 100 times more likely to go to Oxford than a Jade" study from last year, i.e. the names themselves might not cause the difference but rather other factors which the names represent.

Re: Evidence of Advantages for Children of Working Mothers

#15

Post by snickerdoodles »

"In a new study of 50,000 adults in 25 countries, daughters of working mothers completed more years of education, were more likely to be employed and in supervisory roles and earned higher incomes" - TLDR, children will imitate what you do, not what you tell them to do. This is good for certain values of good (depending on how you define a 'good' adult).

The title of the article (Mounting Evidence of Advantages for Children of Working Mothers) seems to define having a career as an advantage, but is it really?

Re: Evidence of Advantages for Children of Working Mothers

#16

Post by danieltillett »

eru wrote: post #13
danieltillett wrote: post #10

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I am curious why you think a 22 year old on near minimum wage cares more about engaging with your daughter than you and your wife?

rayiner might not be in a country that pays minimum wage for daycare. (Some countries don't even have a minimum wage, and some even pay their daycarers decent money.)

This is possible, but even taking out the near minimum wage clause I am still surprised that rainier thinks that a 22 year old paid to look after his daughter cares more about her than him and his wife.

Re: Evidence of Advantages for Children of Working Mothers

#17

Post by droopybuns »

rayiner wrote: post #4

I never understood the idea that having mom (or dad) at home is the best thing for kids. When our daughter is at daycare, she's in a very stimulating environment staffed by energetic 22-year olds on 6 hour shifts. When she's at home with me my instinct is to bribe her with some ice cream and park her in front of her iPad. My wife has slightly more desire to engage with the kid, but no more energy for it--she's pretty…

Differing parental styles will have different outcomes. It's part of what makes these studies so useless.

Re: Evidence of Advantages for Children of Working Mothers

#18

Post by harryh »

droopybuns wrote: post #17
rayiner wrote: post #4

I never understood the idea that having mom (or dad) at home is the best thing for kids. When our daughter is at daycare, she's in a very stimulating environment staffed by energetic 22-year olds on 6 hour shifts. When she's at home with me my instinct is to bribe her with some ice cream and park her in front of her iPad. My wife has slightly more desire to engage with the kid, but no more energy for it--she's pretty…

Differing parental styles will have different outcomes. It's part of what makes these studies so useless.

Or maybe not:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Nurture_Assumption

Re: Evidence of Advantages for Children of Working Mothers

#19

Post by danieltillett »

snickerdoodles wrote: post #15

"In a new study of 50,000 adults in 25 countries, daughters of working mothers completed more years of education, were more likely to be employed and in supervisory roles and earned higher incomes" - TLDR, children will imitate what you do, not what you tell them to do. This is good for certain values of good (depending on how you define a 'good' adult). The title of the article (Mounting Evidence of Advantages for C…

How about we rephrase this. Daughters of those mothers that earn enough to make putting their children in childcare are more likely to earn more than mothers who's wages are too low to afford childcare. Phrased this way we come to the startling conclusion that the children of the middle class grow up to be middle class. I am shocked.

Re: Evidence of Advantages for Children of Working Mothers

#20

Post by rayiner »

ams6110 wrote: post #9
rayiner wrote: post #4

I never understood the idea that having mom (or dad) at home is the best thing for kids. When our daughter is at daycare, she's in a very stimulating environment staffed by energetic 22-year olds on 6 hour shifts. When she's at home with me my instinct is to bribe her with some ice cream and park her in front of her iPad. My wife has slightly more desire to engage with the kid, but no more energy for it--she's pretty…

Nobody will care for or about a child more than that child's mother (barring psychological abnormalities in the mother). Father a close second. Even the best daycare is going to devote only a fraction of the instruction/attention to any individual child. If your approach as a parent is to give "the kid" ice cream and electronic distractions, I think you should seriously reevaluate your priorities.

Caring is a separate issue from having the aptitude and temperament for the labor of child care. I'd do anything for my daughter, but let's face it, she's boring. She's slightly smarter than a puppy, and while it's all magical a couple of hours a day, I can't imagine engaging with her day-in and day-out, any more than I can imagine being a factory worker who just does one movement all day long. I'd go crazy.

The daycare worker certainly wouldn't run in front of a bus to protect my kid, which I'd do in a heartbeat. But that's not a day-to-day need.

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