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Start doing more things alone

washingtonpost.com

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Re: Start doing more things alone

#11

Post by mtbcoder »

"We end up staying at home instead of going out to do stuff because we're afraid others will think they're a loser."

Perhaps a bigger contributing factor may be that many US citizens simply have less disposable income these days. If you are living alone in a high cost of living city (such as DC where the WP is HQ'd), you most likely have much less money to spend on bars, restaurants and movie theaters.

Fortunately, DC has many free museums, parks, trails, etc where you often find folks doing things in groups, pairs and alone without any stigmas or high costs.

Re: Start doing more things alone

#12

Post by pcurve »

98Windows wrote: post #7

The downside is you have no one to recount the experience with later on, you might tell people about it but no one will ever understand what it was like unless they were there with you.

This is true... but you do end up making different kinds of memory on your solo trip. It may not be with your loved ones, but it may be with type of strangers that you may not have met.

I went on a solo trip to Japan couple of years ago. Even though I had planned out the trip tightly, I ended up veering off course. For example, I was just strolling aroud one day, and saw a fellow solo tourist hop into a bike rental shop. So I followed him, and rented a bike myself too. Whopping $9/day. And we kept on crossing path over the course of day, which was hilarious.

Around 9pm, I needed to return the bike, but I was completely lost. With all businesses shut down in deserted part of kyoto, I was helpless. But I found this one-man police station, so I walked in, asking for help. This chubby jolly patrolman was so delighted to help despite communication barrier, he went out of his way to walk me towards the rental shop.

Another day, I was just observing people on the street. I was surprised how many young men and women make living hawking on behalf of clubs and restaurants. One young lad caught my attention. He was shouting loud and he looked thirsty. So I ran to a nearby vending machine and handed him a can of ice coffee. Initially he was completely baffled, but then he got it after my lame attempt at communicating. And thanked me and gave me a big smile. So he and I have a nice shared memory.

Anyway, both types of trips are enjoyable. People who've never done solo travel definitely should, when luxury allows.

Re: Start doing more things alone

#13

Post by Dewie3 »

black_knight wrote: post #4
Quizz wrote: post #2

Researchers have nothing better to do than explore the harmless neuroses of the middle class?

Oh, this research is very much in the interest of the businesses — because staying at home also means spending less money. The idea is that if the taboo around "having fun" — aka spending money — alone is broken, then well… profit! This article of course contributes to these interests. Personally I think time spent at home is can be as good as time spent out side of home. The article in question does not do any compa…

Maybe they should do some research on staying at home and quietly meditating. Simple, probably rewarding, but doesn't cost any money. :)

At least the entertainment business can console itself with the fact that they're pirating less.

Re: Start doing more things alone

#14

Post by paulpauper »

You look at some of the biggest success of our post-2008 economy - namely web 2.0 companies like snapchat, uber, tinder - and you see they typically involve introverts who are getting very rich very quickly. Being alone is not just a way to save money or find inner peace, but - in the Silicon Valley at least - a possible pathway to riches and fame.

Re: Start doing more things alone

#15

Post by eam »

I often find myself doing things alone. I took a trip alone to New Orleans and went to have brunch at this popular restaurant. The line was pretty long and lots of people waiting outside. I went up to the host and she asked how many people were in my party, I responded, "just me." She said, "follow me this way."

So one thing I've come to realize is that when you go to a restaurant alone there's usually zero waiting time for seating, that's a plus. :)

Re: Start doing more things alone

#16

Post by pcurve »

"describe their findings: that people consistently underestimate how much they will enjoy seeing a show, going to a museum, visiting a theater, or eating at a restaurant alone."

Very true. If you're halfway serious about art, you should not go to Museum with anyone, but by yourself. Museum viewing is intensely solo activity.

Theater though, you're held captive to the seat for 2 hours, so it's more about what you do before and after, that people have reservation about.

Re: Start doing more things alone

#17

Post by alashley »

I get the premise of the article, but not sure I entirely agree. A week or so ago I went to a live music show at a pub, I got up for a minute to go to the washroom, and when I came back someone was taking my chair from the table. Not such a good feeling. Stuff like this happens sometimes when people go to restaurants alone, I guess.

Maybe the important thing is to do things alone if necessary, but try to form connections with people. Human beings are social creatures, and we all need some form of interaction. Like my dad's mother-in-law told me, "Don't get too used to being alone." I asked her why, and she didn't really give much of an answer, but as I've grown older, I see the importance of friendships and relationships.

Re: Start doing more things alone

#18

Post by dpatrick86 »

The beginning of an article showcases a photo of a man eating by himself and is captioned: "Not as sad as it looks."

Well, wapo, that depends. If the other two extra plates of food next to him are for imaginary friends it puts a totally different twist on things that might be sad after all.

Re: Start doing more things alone

#19

Post by mikecmpbll »

Can't say that this has been my experience. I moved to the other end of the country 2.5 years ago and still haven't really formed a social group. I started off heading out and doing stuff on my own, but it gets pretty depressing pretty quickly, and definitely isn't as fun as doing the same things with others. I now don't really do public things on my own at all.

Re: Start doing more things alone

#20

Post by throwaway436234 »

I'm on a work gig away from home and have been spending most of my free time alone. I like it and end up in these situations on purpose, but after few months it starts to feel a bit strange. I usually try to go out to do things as I feel happier about it than staying in. Some things like museums and art galleries are nice to do alone, but most things city has to offer are culturally meant to be done in groups or together with someone.

I do get conscious about it every now and then and things like eating in a busy restaurant weekend nights can be uncomfortable. Or going to see a gig and then getting very bored while waiting between bands.

Sometimes I see great things or I fall deep into my thoughts and get some new insights, but don't immediately get to share them with anyone. When I get back home after half a year or so most of my friends comment that the time just flew by. They ask me what has happened and it's difficult to explain. It's like nothing happened to me, but for many many times.

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