Ask HN: Why do I have to struggle with everything?

In math, every answer is made by a question. In practical reality, every result is made by clear causes in problems. One problem that we have as human beings is that we cannot see the causes that we keep inside ourselves. That's why it's not easy to recognize what makes the results we get in life. For this reason, a good teacher can be compared to a mirror – they simply show us ourselves, just as we are. Without such a mirror, how could we see ourselves?

That's why, in order to change the kind of results you can get in life, you first of all need to change your problems. Good problems have good results; bad problems have bad results. To change your life into one where you continuously get good results, you need to find out how to formulate problems, and then you need to start making good problems for yourself.

It's not easy, but even though you were born with your existent consciousness, it is certainly possible to change your consciousness so that you can guide your life to a better "destiny". However, in order to do so, you need to obtain an enlightenment (realization), and then you need to study what exists in the reality that you can see through your enlightenment. Be careful of falsehood. No religions have any helpful teachings when it comes to enlightening yourself.

Hey, I feel the same way sometimes. You're not alone and everyone, I mean EVERYONE feels the same way from time to time.

I guarantee your friends look up to you as "that guy" who pulled himself up by his bootstraps, overcome a lot of obstacles to put himself through college, ground it out through a tough job and then found the courage to go out and get a better one, etc. They probably wish they had your work ethic and grit.

Everyone presents an idealized version of themselves to the world and even, to a lesser extent, their friends and loved ones. See through the facade and be happy with what you have: a lot of people would love to have a college education, a job, money, and friends.

What I do when I get frustrated with the world is to call up good friends and just talk it through with them. They always remind me that no matter how good you think other people have it, that everyone is going through the same shit. It's good to have perspective.

Simply, you are comparing the "behind the scenes" of your life to other peoples "highlights reel". Other people very well may be doing the exact same thing with you in mind. If your life was constantly good, there would be no contrast. Its likely you would not appreciate it. Hardship provides us with that valuable contrast to properly appreciate the good.

Find and do what you love, and the rest will come naturally. Good luck and stay positive, the world is your oister.

I've had some of the issues you've mentioned though I especially identify with the feeling that those I know have it much easier than I do. Due to the nature of things, it's obviously impossible to (really) know what other people go through mentally and emotionally but, in the least, I feel like the notion of talking about one's problems is a no-no. People don't seem to want to show the dents in their armor, and this makes it seem like everything is going fine with them. On the other hand, I have no issues talking about my problems when I need to or feel like it, but it's usually met with silence.

I can say this: most people I know have never been poor, and this is a large part of why they cannot identify with problems I have. Being poor is a life-changer in so many ways and it has so many secondary and tertiary effects that others just don't get it cause they haven't been there.

Try writing down the life you want, then break down the steps it would take to get there (or get somewhat close to where you can be satisfied), then ask yourself if you really want to be twice your age and still lamenting about all the same things. It may light a fire under you or, in the least, alter your perspective going forward.

I think it will always appear that other people are better off. No one likes to share their struggles. Everyone tries to put their best foot forward if they can. That's why you shouldn't compare yourself to others. You never know how that person got to where they are know. Yes, some people have it easy or it came naturally; while others worked/struggled to get there.

Honestly, I have some of the same struggles as you. Work hard and you can fix most of problems. It takes time. Learn from your past.

Start with a couple of goals for the year. Like become more financially stable, make friends/find a girlfriend, or find a new hobby. If you're out of shape try to get in shape. Those things will give you boost. Think about what's important to you right now and prioritize that. Everyone moves at different paces; there aren't any hard rules for life.