Ask HN: Anxiety is limiting my enjoyment of a wonderful career. Can you relate?

I feel you. I have a wonderful family, well paid job I enjoy and am occasionally good at, he worry it's all going to be taken away.

I think there are a few practical things to do

- benchmark yourself against objective reality - understand the problem of imposter syndrome - improve your lifestyle - take medicines

Firstly, there are ways to discover your own knowledge and abilities against external benchmarks. For example many programmin languages have koans for practising or similar.

This will give you a way to sample your self more objectively.

Imposter syndrome - everyone has it, and everyone is afraid the rug will be pulled away. Absolutely everyone.

Sleep, eat exercise right. Easy to say, hard to do but every improvement will help you

Medicate - there are drugs from SSRIs onwards. Combined with plans like above there is little reason a years course would not help you buy time to sort the rest out.

Take care. You are not alone

I know you said you're not seeking a therapeutic recommendation, but if you were my friend then I would buy you a beer and gently recommend seeing a therapist. I saw one for a year after I got divorced, and she was extremely helpful in teaching me how to get out of negative-feedback thought loops, which sounds like it might be useful for you, too. I was originally nervous about signing up for a lifetime of having someone be my emotional crutch. But my take on it now is: 1) Being a happy, fulfilled human is hard. 2) We are generally not good at it, and we don't have much time to get good at it. 3) If one person has a problem, ten million other people do too. 4) Many problems have genuine solutions, and those that don't almost always have approaches that are helpful.

It sounds like your anxiety is having a real negative impact on your life. If you had some physical ailment (say digestive issues or headaches) that were having such a negative impact, you would go to a doctor, yeah? It's the same deal.

Take care and good luck!

> Why am I writing this post? I'm seeking understanding, support, and related stories/situations. I'm not seeking a cure-all. I'm not seeking a pharmaceutical or therapeutic recommendation. Just support.

I know you didn't ask for this, but it needs to be said.

See a doctor. Get properly diagnosed. Get proper help. As someone who live with mental disorders, I can assure you, getting proper help is the best thing you can do.

> I have OCD

Is this diagnosed? I only ask because far too many people self-diagnose. You might be right, but you shouldn't self-diagnose. If you are diagnosed, follow up with your therapy, and share this information.

Get help.

I am in the same position. I am CTO of a startup in London. On paper, everything is wonderful. These past few months the company has quadrupled in size. We're in swanky offices. My commute is short - from the apartment that I own with my girlfriend who I love.

Anxiety is a constant demon hanging over me. I fell it every day. Not only that but feelings of deep self-loathing. Sometimes it paralyses me. I can't work for days on end, I can't face my colleagues. I go to the office, but am unproductive to the point of being entirely non-productive.

I make it up on other days, when I'm 'up'. But recently the periods of 'down' have been longer, harder, and seem unescapable. My up self is finding it harder to compensate.

I have to force myself to do the things I enjoy in my spare time. These days all I want to do when I get home is lose myself in pointless internet browsing. Imgur is a favourite - I'll swipe for hours through that dross.

I don't know where to go really. I've been in an ongoing battle with my mind since a severe bout of depression a few years ago. That unlocked a lot of stuff, and these days it's never as bad, but I'm aware of the fight every day, and it's exhausting.

I wish there was a way out, but there isn't. I'm going to be fighting this my entire life.

Definitely seconding this advice. A good therapist can make a world of difference.