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Hacking and addiction

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11–20 of 29 posts

Re: Hacking and addiction

#11
Yes. Therapy has helped a lot even though we almost never talked about my drug use. While there are many confounding factors, ultimately (for me) it comes down to using a substance to address some other need.

It generally takes the form of getting short term satisfaction instead of delaying gratification and putting in a bit more effort. Usually it's in response to some source of anxiety (money, or a task that's been on my plate too long), and trying to avoid it. If you're high, at least you don't have to think about your problems for a little while, right? Doing the least desirable thing on my todo list tends to be a good way to dissolve that anxiety and make me not care about getting high.

More generally speaking, life has an ebb and a flow to it. You will have times of intense work, and you need corresponding times of relaxation. Using a drug to achieve that relaxation is like eating a bag of chips to satisfy hunger - it seems to get the job done but actually doesn't.

I highly recommend talking to a professional even for a short period of time. I found it immensely helpful to have an objective, intelligent person point out my blind spots and habits in terms I hadn't considered before.

Addiction is a difficult problem to solve, and from what I've gathered from personal experience and observation, one that is difficult to overcome alone. It requires many things, including a force of will that is equal to the task of arguing against all the reasons your mind will bring to bear for getting high.

I think the book "The War of Art" has an interesting thesis on why we pursue self-sabotaging habits like drugs, masturbation or food, and I've found it helpful to read it on the bad days.

Re: Hacking and addiction

#12
post #2

I had quite a caffeine addiction but I recently kicked it. I was up to 900 mg/day at my peak. I think caffeine counts as an addiction. I had a strong dependency on it and couldn't function physically or mentally without it.

That definitely counts as an addiction.

If it affects you in a negative way and you cant stop, that is addiction.

Re: Hacking and addiction

#13
Thanks for replying guys. I have been struggling with my self-created loneliness lately.

It is so weird that people dont want to hang out with a using drug addict. Haha.

Anyhow, I like to program in Lisp, perl and python. I work at a startup and no one knows I use and I never nod at work. I have been promoted twice since I have been there so I still have it together at work and it is going well.

Thanks for the responses. It makes me feel less isolated aand alone which feels really good right now :)

Re: Hacking and addiction

#14
post #3
post #2

I had quite a caffeine addiction but I recently kicked it. I was up to 900 mg/day at my peak. I think caffeine counts as an addiction. I had a strong dependency on it and couldn't function physically or mentally without it.

Caffeine is toxic, even though some say it can only kill humans if you drink one cup of coffee for each pound you weigh. The body evacuates this in many ways though. Some say it really doesn't have any extreme health disadvantages. Some even say it could help prevent some diseases such as cardiovascular disease. I try to only drink coffee or tea once every two days in fear of addiction, unless some project is due.

Yeah you know I actually have had panic attacks from too much caffeine. Moderation is definitely key.

Re: Hacking and addiction

#18
i often do. have a techy job, that is. far as the junkyism that's a constant. been 10+ years now, used ibogaine once to kick - that lasted, but then i realized i'm better off on it than off it. where i am at right now we got a morphine maintenance program along with the methadone. readily shootable, and just as readily esterifiable. use propionyl chloride to get the propyl ester, which is... potent enough. :)

Re: Hacking and addiction

#20
Pot (fairly high doses). Never at work. Gray area as to whether or not it's a problem but have a hard time not using. Don't want to admit to myself that it could be a problem. Extremely secretive about it. Sometimes still enjoy it.
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