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Be Nice Or Leave

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Re: Be Nice Or Leave

#11

Post by wallflower »

Neil Gaiman

“You get work however you get work, but keep people keep working in a freelance world (and more and more of todays world is freelance), because their work is good, because they are easy to get along with and because they deliver the work on time. And you don’t even need all three! Two out of three is fine. People will tolerate how unpleasant you are if your work is good and you deliver it on time. People will forgive the lateness of your work if it is good and they like you. And you don’t have to be as good as everyone else if you’re on time and it’s always a pleasure to hear from you.”

http://vimeo.com/42372767

A commencement speech so good it is now a slim book http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0062266764/

Re: Be Nice Or Leave

#12

Post by antirez »

In the specific case of open source software / IT scene, which I believe is in part a "business" a this point since a lot of programmers see it as a way of self promotion (which surely is), and many companies build OSS software even if the way it is created is mostly closed-source-alike, I believe that there is a tension between being nice and be successful. It boils down to the fact popularity among IT folks can be reached in two main ways. 1) Build great stuff. 2) Criticize stuff and set a new trend (either for self-promotion or to move people to your product). "2" is a lot simpler than "1", and "2" is definitely not about being nice, so the result is that the IT community is full of people that are not nice and I think this is not going to change in the long run since there are big gains in not being nice.

Re: Be Nice Or Leave

#13

Post by demystified »

It is all about taking the short-term vs. long term approach. Both would work -- but I would prefer the latter.

Focus on short-term, work towards maximize profit/value and capture immediate benefits (without taking into account other's thoughts). If it works that's great, but most likely it won't.

Or focus on long-term - invest in people (your time and resources). No immediate benefits but long-term returns are likely higher.

Re: Be Nice Or Leave

#14

Post by anathebealio »

Too often I find that people who are nice in daily life are considered naive or push-overs. It is a skill to be kind to others and to retain the reputation of standing your ground. I'm not sure why there is confusion between having an opinion/looking out for yourself and being a jerk -- and this certainly shines through the most in business where everyone is looking to make money.

My boss is an extremely kind man, but when it comes down to it, he always comes out of meetings and negotiations with what he wanted. Everyone in the company highly respects him for it and everyone is better off because of it.

Re: Be Nice Or Leave

#15

Post by peteretep »

My boss is a former M&A guy, and very very financially focussed but: I have a lot of trust in him, because I know that he will always delegate to "doing the right thing" over a quick buck. That's saved him a lot of money in working with me when it's come to bonus, salary, or work-related negotiations.

Re: Be Nice Or Leave

#16

Post by seanmcdirmid »

Sounds very American; like the server in a resteraunt being overly nice, making those of us who aren't used to the wallmart greeter style uncomfortable.

Cut the bull; I would rather people be more honest than be more nice (and if they are trying too hard, it's easy to tell). It's amazing how a bit of bluntness automatically influences me and how much niceness projection makes me sick.

Re: Be Nice Or Leave

#17

Post by greghinch »

wallflower wrote: post #11

Neil Gaiman “You get work however you get work, but keep people keep working in a freelance world (and more and more of todays world is freelance), because their work is good, because they are easy to get along with and because they deliver the work on time. And you don’t even need all three! Two out of three is fine. People will tolerate how unpleasant you are if your work is good and you deliver it on time. People…

To be honest, often I found delivering work on time and being easy to get along with trump doing good work to a large degree (particularly being on time). That is to say, if you are easy to get along with and deliver on time, but your work output is nothing special, you can still get by pretty well. But if you are unpredictable or a jerk, your work quality needs to be better than 99% of your peers to get by similarly.

Re: Be Nice Or Leave

#18

Post by smegmalife »

Funny how often conventional wisdom is wrong, and "not being nice" is no different. When you look at the great companies, they were always focused on relationships and generally doing the right thing. Being nice is good not only from a business standpoint, but a personal standpoint as well.

Re: Be Nice Or Leave

#19

Post by adestefan »

anathebealio wrote: post #14

Too often I find that people who are nice in daily life are considered naive or push-overs. It is a skill to be kind to others and to retain the reputation of standing your ground. I'm not sure why there is confusion between having an opinion/looking out for yourself and being a jerk -- and this certainly shines through the most in business where everyone is looking to make money. My boss is an extremely kind man, bu…

It's the same as knowing when to say "No."

Re: Be Nice Or Leave

#20

Post by namenotrequired »

seanmcdirmid wrote: post #16

Sounds very American; like the server in a resteraunt being overly nice, making those of us who aren't used to the wallmart greeter style uncomfortable. Cut the bull; I would rather people be more honest than be more nice (and if they are trying too hard, it's easy to tell). It's amazing how a bit of bluntness automatically influences me and how much niceness projection makes me sick.

Being nice doesn't mean being dishonest. It means treating people well.
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