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I'm OK, the bull is dead: Communication skills for engineers

computerworld.com

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Re: I'm OK, the bull is dead: Communication skills for engineers

#11

Post by BrentRitterbeck »

gruseom wrote: post #9

Sorry, but this is contrived. One can speak clearly without resorting to a formula. The story contradicts itself. The author describes at length the process he had to go through to decode this supposedly clear communication. The one person without a vested interest in the formula (his wife) just found it puzzling and annoying. Besides, it's obvious how to communicate the information "I've been in an accident, but I'm…

"Sorry Dad. I rained all over myself."

That's a breakdown in the kid's/family's communication. It is simple to say, "I walked in the rain." It conveys the exact same piece of information--I'm wet because it was raining outside, and I was outside without something to keep the rain off of me. There are numerous other ways to say the same thing without sounding backwards.

Re: I'm OK, the bull is dead: Communication skills for engineers

#12

Post by PonyGumbo »

sanj wrote: post #7
PonyGumbo wrote: post #3

I know Gopal (and Raj). This is an old, old story, but I get a kick out of it every time I hear it.

Do you know what the story behind the bull is?

I don't know much more than the story as it's told, just that Raj was driving past a farm late at night and hit a bull that had somehow escaped. It wasn't a head-on collision, but it was enough to kill the bull and wreck his car.

Re: I'm OK, the bull is dead: Communication skills for engineers

#13

Post by gruseom »

BrentRitterbeck wrote: post #11
gruseom wrote: post #9

Sorry, but this is contrived. One can speak clearly without resorting to a formula. The story contradicts itself. The author describes at length the process he had to go through to decode this supposedly clear communication. The one person without a vested interest in the formula (his wife) just found it puzzling and annoying. Besides, it's obvious how to communicate the information "I've been in an accident, but I'm…

"Sorry Dad. I rained all over myself." That's a breakdown in the kid's/family's communication. It is simple to say, "I walked in the rain." It conveys the exact same piece of information--I'm wet because it was raining outside, and I was outside without something to keep the rain off of me. There are numerous other ways to say the same thing without sounding backwards.

Sure. But I think the point was that the father realized that he had overemphasized a linguistic device at the expense of a general principle. He'd got his 8-year-old into a state of clueless, if not malicious, compliance, which didn't serve the real goal. (In fact, it often backfires, because people will instinctively resist anything that inhibits their freedom.)

By the way, using active instead of passive language really does change one's thinking and foster responsibility. I've found it to yield pretty rich rewards, and the whole subject is fascinating. Similarly, beginning a status meeting with a one-sentence summary, then proceeding to details, can be quite effective. But when people focus on the trick rather than the substance, it doesn't work anymore. And the OP is an example of that. A car accident is not a status meeting.

Re: I'm OK, the bull is dead: Communication skills for engineers

#14

Post by brunoc »

gruseom wrote: post #9

Sorry, but this is contrived. One can speak clearly without resorting to a formula. The story contradicts itself. The author describes at length the process he had to go through to decode this supposedly clear communication. The one person without a vested interest in the formula (his wife) just found it puzzling and annoying. Besides, it's obvious how to communicate the information "I've been in an accident, but I'm…

Formulas are a good way to begin practicing something - keep your eyes on the ball; rotate your shoulders; name your variables a certain way; etc.

I believe most people dislike giving status reports so having a formula that keeps them short and to the point seems like a good idea to me.

Re: I'm OK, the bull is dead: Communication skills for engineers

#15

Post by BrentRitterbeck »

gruseom wrote: post #13
BrentRitterbeck wrote: post #11

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"Sorry Dad. I rained all over myself." That's a breakdown in the kid's/family's communication. It is simple to say, "I walked in the rain." It conveys the exact same piece of information--I'm wet because it was raining outside, and I was outside without something to keep the rain off of me. There are numerous other ways to say the same thing without sounding backwards.

Sure. But I think the point was that the father realized that he had overemphasized a linguistic device at the expense of a general principle. He'd got his 8-year-old into a state of clueless, if not malicious, compliance, which didn't serve the real goal. (In fact, it often backfires, because people will instinctively resist anything that inhibits their freedom.) By the way, using active instead of passive language…

I know it changes one's thinking. It's one of the biggest issues I had working on the traditional side of banking. Whenever someone did something wrong, we would end up getting an email written entirely in passive language because no one wanted to point fingers. Passive language is a tool used either to not accept responsibility or to avoid pointing fingers at the true culprit. Both are terrible things, especially in the office where everyone knows who is to blame anyways.

Re: I'm OK, the bull is dead: Communication skills for engineers

#17

Post by rubentopo »

gruseom wrote: post #9

Sorry, but this is contrived. One can speak clearly without resorting to a formula. The story contradicts itself. The author describes at length the process he had to go through to decode this supposedly clear communication. The one person without a vested interest in the formula (his wife) just found it puzzling and annoying. Besides, it's obvious how to communicate the information "I've been in an accident, but I'm…

Contrived?,yes, useful?, yes (at least in my experience), do i plan to use that formula in every interaction?, i don't think so, it wouldn't be natural.

Thank you for sharing the example of the kid who "rained all over himself", it clearly shows that exceptions apply.

Re: I'm OK, the bull is dead: Communication skills for engineers

#19

Post by scott_s »

gruseom wrote: post #9

Sorry, but this is contrived. One can speak clearly without resorting to a formula. The story contradicts itself. The author describes at length the process he had to go through to decode this supposedly clear communication. The one person without a vested interest in the formula (his wife) just found it puzzling and annoying. Besides, it's obvious how to communicate the information "I've been in an accident, but I'm…

I don't see anything wrong with using a formula to communicate when the formula is State conclusion first, then how that effects current status, what to do next, and finally why all this happened.

When I give research updates, I basically follow this format. I don't give a long explanation of what I did, leaving people guessing at the outcome, and only at the end presenting my numbers and finally, my conclusion. I state my conclusion first, the numbers I have to back up that conclusion, then go into why I think these numbers are correct (what I did).

Re: I'm OK, the bull is dead: Communication skills for engineers

#20

Post by snowbird122 »

As a project manager managing multiple projects, I often need status updates from my team. I find that without a standard structure, people often fail to convey the most important information. I ask my team to report status in the following manner: 1. Of the things that were expected to be done at this point, what is not done? 2. What other deliverables are in danger of not being done in time? 3. What is being done about items in #1 and #2 4. Of the things that were expected to be done at this point, what is done?

I'd love to receive feedback about this process. What has worked for you?

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