I don't buy it. What stresses me out the most are groups of people jabbering about nothing in particular. Give me a hammock and a nice book and I'm good to go. No elevated cortisol and whatnot.
Do Men Suck At Friendship?
11–20 of 261 posts
Re: Do Men Suck At Friendship?
#12Can anyone suggest a better title? This one is pretty linkbaity.
[deleted]
Re: Do Men Suck At Friendship?
#13Can anyone suggest a better title? This one is pretty linkbaity.
Actually quite appropriate, since the data set doesn't answer the question.
I think we could make it more linkbaity.
Men: You're shitty friends, and it's killing you
Re: Do Men Suck At Friendship?
#14Can anyone suggest a better title? This one is pretty linkbaity.
Indeed. But it is the title of the article, no?
Otherwise, maybe "The Male Deficit Model"? (which, I suppose, is linkbaity in its own way)
Re: Do Men Suck At Friendship?
#15Yeah this is clearly a American issue. It's certainly not true in Asian/South Asian countries, sure we lose touch with friends but whenever we meet there is an instant and unmistakable bond.
When I moved to the US, I couldn't understand why Americans were so "distant". I don't have the same friendships with them as I do with others. Sad but true.
Re: Do Men Suck At Friendship?
#16How culture-specific is this trend?
Re: Do Men Suck At Friendship?
#17Can anyone suggest a better title? This one is pretty linkbaity.
Maybe something closer to the title of the paper that started this discussion 30 years ago: Sex Differences in Same-Sex Friendship.[1] The paper itself is much more informative, although drier reading. It's also more engage-able. One can criticize the sample (US college students), methodology, or even the statistics. No doubt there are follow-up studies that confirm some bits of the paper and discredit others. I find that sort of discussion much more productive than the anecdotes and opinions that the Men's Journal post will likely spark.
1. http://www.peplaulab.ucla.edu/Peplau_Lab/Publications_files/...
Re: Do Men Suck At Friendship?
#18Some people say we're past the "social fad". I think that we're just at the tip of the iceberg, and this article hints at some of the problems that we could solve.
Re: Do Men Suck At Friendship?
#19I feel this, my chat group I've had with friends from work for the last year just went dead. We bonded strongly at work, in work, and when work didn't connect us we disconnected. This year I made more effort than ever to make friends, but it just hasn't stuck yet. I'm not giving up though.
People at work aren't necessarily your friends, rather they are people forced to "cohabitate" together. Makes sense to keep it friendly, but don't expect it to last much longer than a year or two past your resignation.
Patio says the same thing here: http://www.kalzumeus.com/2011/10/28/dont-call-yourself-a-pro...
Similarly, I've always liked to keep in touch with friends, see how they are doing, etc. When I was younger I expected others were the same, but no. Most people have their own friends and family and while you'll get a hi and smile from them if you bump into them at the grocery, they won't put any effort into keeping in touch.
I notice as people get older they tend to isolate themselves, dare I say on purpose. For example I have school friends from 20 years ago who don't even want to be friends on facebook, which is about as close to zero effort you can manage. No, I don't post much, treat others well, and keep it light.
In other words, get used to it.
Re: Do Men Suck At Friendship?
#20This article really resonates with me.
Many of my male friendships do seem to resonate around convenience (i.e. we help each other) or activities.
If you take that away...I'm unsure what the depth is.
This could just be me though.
I do have friendships with females who are nothing like me, which are more around just...fun/chatting/hanging out.
But either way, friendships do take work/effort - and sometimes you need to push that along a bit, and think gee, I haven't seen "XYZ" in a while, let's organise a catchup.