It's funny but "bully" is more associated with males and "bossy" with females. Both have negative connotations of forcing someone to do something against their own will. It seems that the reason behind not banning "bossy" is that females require this opportunity for leadership development. It seems sexist that females should be allowed to impose their will on others but males shouldn't in similar situations. I would argue that females already have a leg up on their male counterparts with the fact that they mature earlier during adolescence and perhaps use this to their advantage. As the article mentions, other ways exist to exhibit leadership. Being bossy though is the worst alignment of incentives: power & peer acceptance thru fear vs respect.
Don't Ban “Bossy”
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Re: Don't Ban “Bossy”
#12I'm immediately extraordinarily skeptical about anything that suggests solving a cultural problem by changing language. That's like trying to solve a math problem by changing the value of pi.
There is at least a theoretical logic to banning words like this: if being called bossy is causing girls to lose leadership skills then maybe stopping this artificially (even if people still think it without saying it) could lead to less girls being affected, and therefore in the next generation the stigma has disappeared. Obviously it's not that simple, and I have no idea to what extent, if any, this actually works,…
> "if being called bossy is causing girls to lose leadership skills..."
I don't think that this particular word is the root cause. More important is the reason why people are using it. If you ban that particular word without addressing why people are using it, then those people will adopt a new word to mean the exact same thing. Creating euphemism treadmills doesn't fix anything.
Re: Don't Ban “Bossy”
#13I'm immediately extraordinarily skeptical about anything that suggests solving a cultural problem by changing language. That's like trying to solve a math problem by changing the value of pi.
When culture changes shouldn't language that reflects outdated culture also change? Racial slurs aren't acceptable anymore. No one thinks that change is what brought about the civil rights movement, but it's obviously a consequence of it that also contributed to the whole movement in a positive feedback loop.
> Racial slurs aren't acceptable anymore. That isn't what brought about the civil rights movement, but it's an important consequence of it.
I don't really want to pick sides on 'ban bossy', but I do think this particular analogy is flawed. Unlike a racial slur (or any other identity-based slur), 'bossy' describes intrinsically negative behavior. People who are 'overly authoritative' or 'domineering' will always be looked down on in society whether or not this word is 'banned' or not.
Re: Don't Ban “Bossy”
#14[deleted]
Re: Don't Ban “Bossy”
#15Omg, the other day I mentioned a female in a random shirt. she looks " B wordy " and they called me > CIS patriarch scum.
Re: Don't Ban “Bossy”
#16My brothers used it on me all the time, but that might not be the typical experience.
Re: Don't Ban “Bossy”
#17That's funny, I actually heard the word used when I was a military cadet in high school. It was used to teach the difference between being a a leader, or just, well bossy. Don't be a boss, don't act bossy, and so on. Bossy people, we were taught, boss people around by using their rank. No one wants to follow them, they just have to. That's the worst kind of leader, we were taught. don't be bossy was good feedback. A…
This is consistent with the OED's first use of the term, referring to a (female) being (inappropriately) "bossy".
“a lady manager who was dreadfully bossy” (1882)
The purpose of language is to provide for subtle distinctions.
Re: Don't Ban “Bossy”
#18That's funny, I actually heard the word used when I was a military cadet in high school. It was used to teach the difference between being a a leader, or just, well bossy. Don't be a boss, don't act bossy, and so on. Bossy people, we were taught, boss people around by using their rank. No one wants to follow them, they just have to. That's the worst kind of leader, we were taught. don't be bossy was good feedback. A…
>What term would they prefer be used for someone that's acting bossy?
Something entirely devoid of meaning so that it could never possibly hurt anyone's feelings for being someone who tells people what to do without leading by example so as to inspire people to do.
Re: Don't Ban “Bossy”
#19I understand that this is a touchy subject, especially on HN, but come on: "Avoid editing what you want to say in your head, and try not to worry about being wrong." This is straight from their Leadership Tips for Girls pdf. They are encouraging girls to just say whatever comes to mind. What's next - calling everyone who disagrees "sexist"?
>What's next - calling everyone who disagrees "sexist"?
If you disagree then you are automatically labeled as one of the obvious sexist rapist rape apologist pedophile neckbeard supremacist spermjacked nerd sperglord virgin libertarian losers. They can't possibly be wrong, so if you disagree you must be one of the hell bound sinners of the most dire nightmare.
>"Avoid editing what you want to say in your head, and try not to worry about being wrong."
This is very sexist of them. Their implication is that males are stupid and don't ever censor themselves when they work to be good leaders - that they are only gain leader status because they say every dumb idea they have, and that saying stupid things shouldn't have any consequences.
Re: Don't Ban “Bossy”
#20I understand that this is a touchy subject, especially on HN, but come on: "Avoid editing what you want to say in your head, and try not to worry about being wrong." This is straight from their Leadership Tips for Girls pdf. They are encouraging girls to just say whatever comes to mind. What's next - calling everyone who disagrees "sexist"?
>What's next - calling everyone who disagrees "sexist"? If you disagree then you are automatically labeled as one of the obvious sexist rapist rape apologist pedophile neckbeard supremacist spermjacked nerd sperglord virgin libertarian losers. They can't possibly be wrong, so if you disagree you must be one of the hell bound sinners of the most dire nightmare. >"Avoid editing what you want to say in your head, and tr…
You forgot "creepy stalker", you closed-minded male chauvinist ape.