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Networking for the Shy Entrepreneur

nytimes.com

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Re: Networking for the Shy Entrepreneur

#11
post #10

What I want to know: How do you start a conversation with a stranger?

-Nice weather today.. :P

Seriously, my best method of starting a chat with a stranger is making a comment about something in the surrounding environment quickly followed by a question about the other person. Try not to talk about the weather as this usually raises a "red flag", ie I really want to talk to you but dont know how.

After that, it's mostly questions/answers as you start to get acquainted. Question/answer ratio in your speaking time should be around 80/20. Try to keep your answers relatively short, especially in the beggining, so that you don't bore your conversational partner. You can usually tell if he/she is genuinely interested in a subject as he will request more information about it. As for the questions let him/her finish his answer, nod, have an open body posture, copy his/hers with a 5sec delay and while he/she answers think of the next one. Give some time between his answer and the next question (his/hers or yours) but be ready to fire in case the conversation drifts off to that "awkward silence".

In any case try to remember that people like to talk about themselves (hence the question/answer ratio) but this isn't always the case, e.g. you have met an introvert (takes time to start opening up) or someone who's having a bad day (difficult to change his/her mood).

Finally, if you fail, don't sweat it. Find what/where the conversation went wrong change your tactic a bit (alter talking speed, think of better generally applied questions, humor) and try again. And don't forget to smile :)

Re: Networking for the Shy Entrepreneur

#12
post #11
post #10

What I want to know: How do you start a conversation with a stranger?

-Nice weather today.. :P Seriously, my best method of starting a chat with a stranger is making a comment about something in the surrounding environment quickly followed by a question about the other person. Try not to talk about the weather as this usually raises a "red flag", ie I really want to talk to you but dont know how. After that, it's mostly questions/answers as you start to get acquainted. Question/answer…

"Try not to talk about the weather as this usually raises a "red flag", ie I really want to talk to you but dont know how."

This varies depending on the region. If you live somewhere with interesting enough weather (i.e. eastern Washington) it's always a topic of discussion. (in June) "Did you see the snow this morning? That was crazy!" (in July) "Man, it's 100 degrees out. Can you believe it snowed last month?"

Re: Networking for the Shy Entrepreneur

#13

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"One of the most difficult social tasks is to join an activity that is already in progress." Basically that means going up to a group of people who are chatting. There are techniques for doing this but theory is cheap, execution counts. Can you please give some tips on how to do this? This is something I definitely need to learn. A friend once invited me to a programmers/founders meet, which was in a bar. [little dar…

> Can you please give some tips on how to do this? I used to think I was being clever by hovering next to groups when I didn't know anyone - close but not too close so it would seem like I was with that group. Not so - you just look like a wallflower. It's not something you need to learn. It's something everyone can do. Unfortunately, it is all about commitment. By hovering, you are not committing. You have to be wil…

It also helps to break the ice with some smart/funny comment at your friend, but also hoping the comment reaches to the others as well. Sense of humor or good observation can be your ticket in to the network.
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