Having Uncomfortable Conversations About Money • Hacker News Board

Re: Having Uncomfortable Conversations About Money

#11

Post by NovemberWest » Tue, Sep 24, 2013, 2:55 AM UTC

jonnathanson wrote: post #7

NovemberWest wrote: post #6

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If one of your biggest obstacles to financial success is personal discomfort with the social/emotional piece, being cornered is an excellent experience for getting over it. I am going through that currently. It really is helping me change things about myself I have long been frustrated with but could not figure out how to change. So it kind of depends, I guess.

I totally get that, and I respect that line of thinking. It's a psychological/motivational thing. But if you've got no other options, keep that in mind. You are playing at the table with a weaker hand, and you run the risk that the other side will call your bluff. At the end of the day, whatever works best for someone works best for him. I would just caution against intentionally backing oneself into a corner. Someti…

There are always other options. I suggest you watch "Kingdom of Heaven" if you have not yet seen it. Painfully bad movie, totally worth watching all the way through one time in order to see the negotiation scene in context.

I have negotiation skills in spades. But I tend to be a doormat. Being under the gun has been extremely uncomfortable but is getting results in ways that simply studying the subject intellectually was not. Getting over some things has been terribly difficult for me.

My situation is complicated and a comment or two on HN won't convey it. If we had more time to talk, we might find we agree more than it seems.

Peace.

Re: Having Uncomfortable Conversations About Money

#12

Post by ivv » Tue, Sep 24, 2013, 7:03 AM UTC

Why should conversations about compensation be uncomfortable at all? You are not begging for a handout, and are likely not imposing any undue hardship on the other side. It might be personal for you; for them, it might be just a line item.

Re: Having Uncomfortable Conversations About Money

#13

Post by switch007 » Tue, Sep 24, 2013, 7:47 AM UTC

ivv wrote: post #12

Why should conversations about compensation be uncomfortable at all? You are not begging for a handout, and are likely not imposing any undue hardship on the other side. It might be personal for you; for them, it might be just a line item.

Because many employers, from the moment they hire you, endeavour to create the illusion they are giving you a hand-out, that they are oh-so-generous and that you're lucky to have a job. When I tell colleagues that it's a fair and equal exchange of their compensation and your labour, I get blank stares.

Re: Having Uncomfortable Conversations About Money

#14

Post by mikitamikado » Tue, Sep 24, 2013, 9:41 PM UTC

peter_l_downs wrote: post #10

> I’ve done plenty of business with friends. In fact, the > majority of my business has been with friends or > acquaintances. Some of those friends even stopped using > me when I raised rates over the years and they’re still > my friends. I’m having drinks with one of them tonight, > in fact. I'm happy that doing business with your friends worked out in this case, but in general I'd tend to stay away from it. Nothing…

It is hard to build sales and marketing channels when you're just starting up. That is why majority of us start with closest circles - friends, family, friends of friends and friends of family... In many cases doing business with friends is inevitably.