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Why current social technologies might be keeping us from truly connecting

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Re: Why current social technologies might be keeping us from truly connecting

#11

Post by ashwinaj »

speeder wrote: post #4

I am very worried about this actually... Today I was thinking about it, also about distractions, wasted time, and not enough time really idle. I noticed that recently I am always using my smartphone, to read news, HN, Facebook or exchange messages... Yet, my productivity is not good as I want, I manage to get bored on the internet, and the news don't really add anything useful on my life. And regarding social connect…

I totally agree. All this "connectedness" is BS, there is no substitute for meeting someone in real. It's a massive problem in the western world where there are loose family/friend connections in the first place, and on top of all this these "social" networks make relationships even worse. Honestly, how many of us really know their friends/neighbors anymore? And I'm not talking about small talk...

Re: Why current social technologies might be keeping us from truly connecting

#12

Post by casual_slacker »

speeder wrote: post #4

I am very worried about this actually... Today I was thinking about it, also about distractions, wasted time, and not enough time really idle. I noticed that recently I am always using my smartphone, to read news, HN, Facebook or exchange messages... Yet, my productivity is not good as I want, I manage to get bored on the internet, and the news don't really add anything useful on my life. And regarding social connect…

Why do we continue to spend time on content that doesn't seem to add value to your life? I had to block myself from Reddit, it took months before I stopped instinctively trying to open it in a new tab. More so though, I was worried about missing something important, which is also the reason I hang around HN. Single feed ephemeral boards are a terrible medium for that.

Re: Why current social technologies might be keeping us from truly connecting

#13

Post by jackschultz »

I feel like if you make the effort, then it isn't an issue. Call people instead of texting, do the upside-down phone thing when you go out to eat or have drinks with the people you just called to hang out with. If you "go off the grid" every once in a while, I think you'll find that the world doesn't end.

The key here is effort though. It isn't easy to meet up with people when you can just use the internet to communicate. But if you really are worried about the effects technology has on your life, then effort shouldn't be an issue.

I guess you can blame the technology, or you can blame yourself.

Re: Why current social technologies might be keeping us from truly connecting

#14

Post by CraigRood »

decasteve wrote: post #7

I'm much more optimistic about it. To be connected to every corner of the globe in near real time, not to mention connected to people and robots in outer space. I'm connecting with fascinating people in my local community as well, talking about an ever diverse set of topics. My biggest concern about connectivity is in the school system. Kids get a connection to the world through the internet but we cut them off from…

My concern isn't really the 'connective-ness' of these networks/web in general. It's the 'reward' system and instant gratification via the 'point systems' - re-tweets, karma, Likes etc. The way we interact with these networks is entirely based on gaining more 'points' and using them as a measure. We are almost going back to the playground where if you did something funny and everyone else laughed, regardless of its worth you would do it again. There's no substance, there's no real value, It's your hourly 'fix' of self worth. I try to avoid the game, It's not only dangerous but I would also consider it depressing in that you start measuring your own worth against someone else because they got a better reaction - playground again.

Re: Why current social technologies might be keeping us from truly connecting

#15

Post by grimtrigger »

CraigRood wrote: post #14
decasteve wrote: post #7

I'm much more optimistic about it. To be connected to every corner of the globe in near real time, not to mention connected to people and robots in outer space. I'm connecting with fascinating people in my local community as well, talking about an ever diverse set of topics. My biggest concern about connectivity is in the school system. Kids get a connection to the world through the internet but we cut them off from…

My concern isn't really the 'connective-ness' of these networks/web in general. It's the 'reward' system and instant gratification via the 'point systems' - re-tweets, karma, Likes etc. The way we interact with these networks is entirely based on gaining more 'points' and using them as a measure. We are almost going back to the playground where if you did something funny and everyone else laughed, regardless of its w…

Bingo. It's embarrassing how good it feels to get a bunch of "likes" and how much of the conversation gets slanted that way.

Re: Why current social technologies might be keeping us from truly connecting

#16

Post by Zikes »

benched wrote: post #10

I have a friend who posts to Facebook several times per day about where they are and what they're doing. Only a few years ago, this person used to be my closest friend. Now, we are distant, and I feel this Facebook usage is part of that. I am under the impression that this person feels their social needs met, and their social 'obligations' discharged, by regular status updates. They are 'connecting' to everyone they…

Sometimes people drift apart, not all friendships last forever. It's entirely possible the same thing would have happened with or without Facebook.

Regarding your feelings towards their new "friends", you've no right to question their friendship or its value. Those are real people on both ends, no matter the means in the middle, and you should respect that. All of my best friends I've met online by way of various sites. We've only seen each other in person a handful of times, yet they know me and I know them better than anyone whom I interact with face-to-face.

Re: Why current social technologies might be keeping us from truly connecting

#18

Post by oblique63 »

grimtrigger wrote: post #6

I don't use social networks (unless you consider HN & reddit) but I think this article is way off the mark. This is especially obvious in immigrant communities where families in different countries exchange photos through facebook. My mom grew up in a small village in India and now talks to her elementary school friend online... thats pretty cool! The author's argument seems to be "facebook is not a substitute for re…

> The author's argument seems to be "facebook is not a substitute for real social interaction", to which I can only say "duh!". I don't know a single person making that claim.

I don't think you have to make that claim explicitly to believe it or act on it at some level.

For example, how many times have you ever thought about calling a person, then decided it wasn't really that important so you just facebook/text/email/tweet them instead? Eventually, I would think you stop having that debate altogether and short-circuit the process to just messaging them through some asynchronous medium directly. Nobody would ever argue that it's the same thing, but the habit forms and inertia builds until eventually one method of communication has effectively supplanted the other. It would be so gradual you probably wouldn't notice such a paradigm shift in your life until you explicitly thought about it (possibly after seeing some of its after-effects). I could see that happening...

Re: Why current social technologies might be keeping us from truly connecting

#19

Post by fragmede »

The closing jab at Mexico is just a jab, but I feel it bears explicit mention - while vising Mexico, many tourists won't have a native cellphone plan, and thus won't be connected to Facebook/whatever, leaving you to actually connect with those you're on vacation with.

(Yes, wifi exists, but it's not ubiquitous.)

Re: Why current social technologies might be keeping us from truly connecting

#20

Post by tekalon »

oblique63 wrote: post #18
grimtrigger wrote: post #6

I don't use social networks (unless you consider HN & reddit) but I think this article is way off the mark. This is especially obvious in immigrant communities where families in different countries exchange photos through facebook. My mom grew up in a small village in India and now talks to her elementary school friend online... thats pretty cool! The author's argument seems to be "facebook is not a substitute for re…

> The author's argument seems to be "facebook is not a substitute for real social interaction", to which I can only say "duh!". I don't know a single person making that claim. I don't think you have to make that claim explicitly to believe it or act on it at some level. For example, how many times have you ever thought about calling a person, then decided it wasn't really that important so you just facebook/text/emai…

I would agree with this. I don't like phones and wish everyone would just text/email/facebook any communications. At the same time, because of this, I also don't feel the need to go out or socialize face to face as much.
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