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From an opportunity standpoint, this could be a chance to overcome a difficult personal challenge (depression) while also being able to do something many don't (go to university).
I hope that you find your answer.
My advice is to go back to school. And not because you are being pressured to but because it will broaden you in ways you can't anticipate. You'll be in an environment that is unpredictable and stimulating and you don't know where future inspiration will come from because of it. Jobs found inspiration after dropping out but -- and this is the important bit -- while still on the campus : >>>“The minute I dropped out I…
Thanks for the response. Several people have advised me to go back for the overall experience, but I feel like I'm not likely to enjoy it if I'm unhappy or depressed there. I'm wondering how bad dropping out would be. I have about a year and a half of experience as an employed programmer, and I know several languages and frameworks. Would the lack of a degree become a serious problem in the future?
After 5 years of experience that went away, partly from the changes in the tech environment and also my experience.
It is competitive when you are starting out, but developers are high in demand. As someone now more in an employer role (which I'm not hiring now), I would look at Open Source work over a degree. If you have a github account with a maintained project or two, especially with a few stars, I'll think you are more qualified than if you have just a BS.
My advice is to ignore thoughts about what you don't want to do. Focus on thoughts about what you do want to do. Figure it out, what your idea of success is over the next 1-5 years (probably part of a plan of success for your lifetime). Measure success in your own terms, not those of your parents, peers, or anyone else. Boil your 1-5 year down to some basic actions, and move to complete those actions. It's not easy t…
* Join some exercise or sports club. Martial arts, ultimate frisbee, swimming -- anything.
* Ask a few women on dates. If you're at all like I was, you will make an awkward mess of it and get rejected. This is a good thing. It will make you dread failure less.
* Some Saturday, when you really should be working, take the day off and explore whatever city you live in. Don't go to the standard tourist locations. Walk around all day and explore at random. Walk into businesses you might not otherwise walk into. Approach strangers and ask random questions. They'll probably think you're weird -- that's okay, you'll never see them again.
(This might not apply directly if your town is small and/or unsafe.)
* Find some off-campus activity to go and join for a day. The more ridiculous the better. Country line dancing?
* Take some class in some subject that really interests you, but will be useful for nothing. Shakespeare, music theory, some obscure foreign language, ... anything.
* Do reasonably well in your classes. But don't be afraid to get a few B's. Disappoint your family slightly, not totally.
* Read Amy Chua's Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother. Wonderfully insightful and funny, and based on what you say I imagine the story she tells will be familiar as hell.
* Tell all of this to your family. IMHO, you will be very, very glad you did so no matter how they react.
Good luck to you!
Its very unlikely that you are getting depressed at the prospect of going to university. It's more likely that you are suffering from depression, that the prospect of going back to uni is making you anxious, which in turn causes stress and people who are depressed have a very different response to stress than people who are not. Also, think of depression as a hole, and stress like this huge bulldozer that digs into it, and you are always at the bottom of the hole, and it just gets deeper and deeper. Eventually it can get too deep.
People who are not depressed can't understand the way stress feels for someone who is depressed, though.
Depression can have roots in some emotional problems, but it's also common for it to be a purely physical condition, too. I am depressed (it's being treated) and I can't guarantee you whether you are depressed or not (if you are, it sounds like a light/mild cases, which is good I believe), but the way you described your situation makes me think that you might be, and a doctor could definitely help you. If not with the depression, then at least with your anxiety and "social" problems.
The problem with depression is that it just gets worse and worse, and there is no stopping it on your own.
You can also develop depression at any stage in your life.
Disclaimer: I have a very bad case of Major Depressive Disorder, I suspect since I was a kid, which almost ruined my life before a friend made me treat it. So I researched a lot about it, but I'm by no means an expert!
I'm smart and dropped out, but regretted it later on both pragmatic and personal bases. Is there a possibility to switch schools, or live off-campus and avoid some of the social stuff? Also, consider taking some of your savings and chatting to a psychologist psychiatrist, one that relates to you as an adult individual instead of a student. If you do drop out your parents will get over it, eventually, but being tagged…
Can you be more specific about why you've regretted dropping out? If you're a programmer, how much has it hurt your career? I unfortunately don't think switching schools is an option for me.
You should see a doctor. Its very unlikely that you are getting depressed at the prospect of going to university. It's more likely that you are suffering from depression, that the prospect of going back to uni is making you anxious, which in turn causes stress and people who are depressed have a very different response to stress than people who are not. Also, think of depression as a hole, and stress like this huge b…
I feel confident that I can make friends outside of school, and while I'm worried about my parent's and friend's reactions to my dropping out, I feel like that shouldn't be the deciding factor.
You should come to New Mexico Tech. We have a great CS program which is essentially throwing you in the deep end and seeing if you can swim. We are far, far away from your overbearing family and whatever horrifying social situation at your old school, over here in Socorro, New Mexico. Even if you got no financial assistance at all, you could pay for two or three years just with the 18K you have saved up now, and that…
You should see a doctor. Its very unlikely that you are getting depressed at the prospect of going to university. It's more likely that you are suffering from depression, that the prospect of going back to uni is making you anxious, which in turn causes stress and people who are depressed have a very different response to stress than people who are not. Also, think of depression as a hole, and stress like this huge b…
I think I might be slightly depressed, but the prospect of going back to college is making me unhappy (I think I'm pretty certain of this, but I don't want to go through all the reasons). I did well academically freshman year despite my depression, and at this point I'm mostly wondering how bad dropping out would be for me career wise (and maybe socially). I feel confident that I can make friends outside of school, a…
If you believe it makes you unhappy, and not simply causing you stress, then you shouldn't go back. I realise your parents and friends might disapprove at first, but you should change their minds by showing them you can do what makes you happy and be successful.
It shouldn't make any difference in you social life, because if someone cares that much, they are probably snobby as fuck.
However, it might make a difference to you in later life. Russell Tovey (British actor) said he always feels ashamed for not having a degree in acting (or whatever it's called, I honestly forgot the term... Drama?) when people talked about which schools they went to. Your parents are probably just scared that you might develop self esteem issues like these.
I am not sure if it will limit your career choices, but you can always compensate with a kickass portfolio!