11–20 of 135 posts
Some guy talking about how he's totally on side but somehow is unable to keep himself from commenting on her breasts; presumably he subscribes to the idea that if you can pretend to be ironic, you can still say it. Classic stuff.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
This sort of insult doesn't help anything or anyone. If anything, it just makes the situation worse for everyone involved. Please desist.
It isn't an insult. The insult was what he said to begin with. Would it had been better if I said he needs to "have his mouth washed out with soap" like a 5 year old? Seriously. To tell me he doesn't deserve a similar treatment to what he displayed to the female is naive. He needs to know that what he did is not excusable and wont be tolerated.
Can we tell the GDC committee? There were witnesses, and getting him expelled from future GDC events seems like an appropriate reaction.
I think social pressure is what needs to make this stop. We need to be mindful of what's not ok and have the courage to say something. That means that the authority is open-sourced to you and me.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
This sort of insult doesn't help anything or anyone. If anything, it just makes the situation worse for everyone involved. Please desist.
It isn't an insult. The insult was what he said to begin with. Would it had been better if I said he needs to "have his mouth washed out with soap" like a 5 year old? Seriously. To tell me he doesn't deserve a similar treatment to what he displayed to the female is naive. He needs to know that what he did is not excusable and wont be tolerated.
Last night was the end of an amazing GDC trip. A handful of remaining friends and I made a journey out to JapanTown and we had an amazing meal. It was a great way to end the trip.
One of my friends, and a fellow game developer, was there for dinner. Her trip to GDC was planned last-minute, thanks to someone obtaining her a (very expensive!) all-access pass.
When recounting this chain of events, a male game developer at the table said that she only got the GDC pass “because of her tits.”
The table largely responded with aghast looks and silence. It was brought up that perhaps her ticket was thanks to being an award-winning game developer.
The same male responded with the ever-classy “sure, award winning tits.”
Defenses and arguments tried to be brought up, but conversation quickly moved on with the men talking over the woman until she just sat there quietly and resigned.
I’m posting about this because this shit has to stop.
I’m posting about this because I was silent when I should have spoken up. I shouldn’t have let the conversation sweep this transgression under the rug.
I’m posting this because I am tired of being made complicit (due to inaction) when these things happen. I’m tired of having to yell at people for this shit every night at GDC. I’m tired because I want this to end, and I’m tired of having this conversation over and over again.
I’m tired of feeling like shit because I don’t have enough energy to defend my friends every fucking DAY.
I’m terrified of losing friends over this.
I’m not a very confrontational person. Usually I deal with shit like this by making a mental note to avoid the person in the future. And now that my friends’ feelings are hurt and people are accusing me of inaction and being a bad person because of it, I feel like my last few years of championing anti-harassment policies (and ENFORCING them) doesn’t even matter.
It sucks that my entire personality can be judged on my last exchange.
So, hey: if you are a sexist ass around me, and think it’s just ironic meta-humour, know that it’s hurting me. It hurts me for days, weeks, months afterwards. It hurts my friends. It hurts my business. It makes me less creative, it makes me want to just hide in my basement all day. It makes me not want to go to GDC again.
If I don’t tell this to your face it’s probably because I’m tired of having this exchange this week. It makes me feel angry, upset, and sad. I hope someone links you to this.
And if you’re going to write me to apologize, you’d sure as shit better apologize to the actual people you pissed on first.
I’m so tired.
I hate that feeling.. the knowledge that engaging in the discussion is going to be exhausting and the chance of making traction is slim, and the feeling that inaction is the only reasonable alternative. Allow me to suggest another alternative to actual discussion in situations like this: Tell the person to fuck off. I'm serious. It registers disagreement, and to any rational person the lack of interest in attempting…
Statement made, stupid comment brushed off, nobody got hurt.
The whole "down to their level and beat you with experience" thing comes to mind.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
This sort of insult doesn't help anything or anyone. If anything, it just makes the situation worse for everyone involved. Please desist.
It isn't an insult. The insult was what he said to begin with. Would it had been better if I said he needs to "have his mouth washed out with soap" like a 5 year old? Seriously. To tell me he doesn't deserve a similar treatment to what he displayed to the female is naive. He needs to know that what he did is not excusable and wont be tolerated.
Wow. That male at the table needs to have his balls removed for such a statement. He may be male, but he isn't a man. A real man wouldn't behave like that. Edit: OK, maybe having his balls removed is excessive. He is mocking a womens anatomy and the reverse would make him feel good. i.e saying he got into GDC because of his testicles isn't the same type of insult as the female getting in for her "tits". So this isn't…
You're not scoring any magical man points with a comment like this.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
This sort of insult doesn't help anything or anyone. If anything, it just makes the situation worse for everyone involved. Please desist.
It isn't an insult. The insult was what he said to begin with. Would it had been better if I said he needs to "have his mouth washed out with soap" like a 5 year old? Seriously. To tell me he doesn't deserve a similar treatment to what he displayed to the female is naive. He needs to know that what he did is not excusable and wont be tolerated.
His behavior is 100% unacceptable. Yours isn't, either. "An eye for an eye" doesn't help anyone be better, and education, not feel-good attacks, is the goal.
You are perpetuating the problem. Stop.