An Unremarkable Event in the Tenderloin • Hacker News Board

Re: An Unremarkable Event in the Tenderloin

#11

Post by rosser » Thu, Feb 28, 2013, 5:06 AM UTC

This is just me, and my approach to the homeless or destitute, but if someone asks me for money, the answer is some form of no (if I even acknowledge the asker). Yeah, you tell me you're hungry or whatever, but I'm not going to risk participating in your next fix.

If they ask me for food, however, it's always a yes, assuming I can do it right then (not late for something, have money or my card on me or whatever). You wouldn't believe how rarely that actually happens.

I don't spend a lot of time in the Tenderloin — though I do pass through it fairly regularly — but actually being asked for food is pretty much the opposite of "unremarkable" in my experience.

Re: An Unremarkable Event in the Tenderloin

#12

Post by yankoff » Thu, Feb 28, 2013, 5:08 AM UTC

They sell you an opportunity to feel good about yourself.

Re: An Unremarkable Event in the Tenderloin

#13

Post by chrisbumgardner » Thu, Feb 28, 2013, 5:08 AM UTC

Thanks for writing this. I work right by there, walk to work from my home, and know how you feel. As jaded as it can become on a daily basis, empathy is always a good thing in my opinion.

Re: An Unremarkable Event in the Tenderloin

#14

Post by rdouble » Thu, Feb 28, 2013, 5:08 AM UTC

eshvk wrote: post #6

That was heart wrenchingly sad, thank you for doing this. I live in the Haight and I see people shivering in the cold and realize how good my life is. I am never sure whether to help people or not. I have heard contradictory stories of trustafarians and the whole philosophy that giving people money doesn't help them. Ultimately, despite all the bustle of tech, it feels like we are letting down the poorest of the poor…

Haight is mostly scammers and trustafarians. Well... 'trustafarian' is the wrong word. The gutter punk type kids don't really have trust funds.

When I lived there from 2006-2009, there was a very short african american guy who would pretend to be mentally retarded and everyone would give him money. However, he would totally be chillin' non-retardedly after hours at Escape from New York pizza and Milk Bar.

Most of the homeless people in the Tenderloin are legitimately down and out.

Re: An Unremarkable Event in the Tenderloin

#15

Post by hy3lxs » Thu, Feb 28, 2013, 5:08 AM UTC

I don't know if you did the "right" thing, whatever the hell that means, but I think you did the humane thing.

Re: An Unremarkable Event in the Tenderloin

#16

Post by bluepanda_ » Thu, Feb 28, 2013, 5:10 AM UTC

Nobody knows what circumstances lead these people to the kind of lives they have now, but if unlike most of us, they were just unfortunate, then you definitely did the right thing.

I live in NYC, which doesn't lack homeless people either, and like you, I find myself saying no too many times. So sometimes, I just act on instinct and give away that Valducci's Original pizza slice or Boston Kreme Donut I have been craving all day, and it actually feels better than satisfying my hunger.

Re: An Unremarkable Event in the Tenderloin

#17

Post by ricardobeat » Thu, Feb 28, 2013, 5:11 AM UTC

We get used to being asked for money and saying no, and there's always a good chance you're being conned, but at least you know you didn't let someone down. Giving out food instead of money is a much clearer-cut situation, though I've witnessed a dirty, homeless boy throw just-purchased food away - he wanted the money :/

Re: An Unremarkable Event in the Tenderloin

#18

Post by CamperBob2 » Thu, Feb 28, 2013, 5:12 AM UTC

jianghong wrote: post #9

I usually try to help out and give the less fortunate the change in my pocket when I can, but this one instance really made me reluctant to continue giving. He was inside starbucks and was walking out the door while I was waiting for a chance to enter. He stopped me and told me his name was Marcus, he was really hungry and needed some money for food. I gave him what was in my pocket, about ~2 bucks. He took it, looke…

I see a lot of people in this thread who don't seem to have heard that many, if not most, of these people are scammers.

I also see a lot of people who don't seem to understand that you get more of what you subsidize, whether you want it or not.

Just putting that out here.

Re: An Unremarkable Event in the Tenderloin

#19

Post by ricardobeat » Thu, Feb 28, 2013, 5:13 AM UTC

jianghong wrote: post #9

I usually try to help out and give the less fortunate the change in my pocket when I can, but this one instance really made me reluctant to continue giving. He was inside starbucks and was walking out the door while I was waiting for a chance to enter. He stopped me and told me his name was Marcus, he was really hungry and needed some money for food. I gave him what was in my pocket, about ~2 bucks. He took it, looke…

That's way more common than we expect it to be.

Re: An Unremarkable Event in the Tenderloin

#20

Post by ethikal » Thu, Feb 28, 2013, 5:13 AM UTC

I think all of us battle with those feelings. In this circumstance, what you did was the right thing.

On one occasion, I was driving through on Market St towards Castro when I saw a disheveled younger man in his twenties with a sign "Don't want money. Just food." As I pulled up to a stoplight, I turned to my girlfriend and asked, "do we have anything?" And we did - two bagels and a croissant. We didn't mind going hungry because once we gave him the food, he did a giddy little dance... as if there were nothing else in the world that could've made him happier.

That said, on a totally different circumstance, while eating outside at Union Sq I was approached by a bum who "just wanted food." After I got up from the table and asked him to lead the way to the "pizza place" he wanted to grab something from, he realized his bluff had been called and he walked away (he was hoping that I would be lazy and just give him some money).

I guess this boils down to a bigger philosophical question, which is "am I doing the right thing, or am I getting taken advantage of?" My solution is to go the extra mile and assume the best of people. Just put the right checks in place so that you can also avoid getting taken advantage of.