The section "Nix multi-task listening" really struck a chord for me. It can be challenging to really focus on listening to someone, especially if you have a busy and easily-excited mind. But it is crucial to put the effort in. I've seen people do some shocking things before - once I saw a friend say hi and ask another friend how she was, then instantly, as the person began talking, look down and start using her phone. Incredibly painful to watch someone start to talk then just fade out as they realise the other person isn't even paying attention. Needless to say, people like that better change their ways if they want to be likable and successful.
CEOs Don’t Come Pre-Made. Authentic Leadership Has To Be Learned
11–20 of 34 posts
Re: CEOs Don’t Come Pre-Made. Authentic Leadership Has To Be Learned
#12the ceo of my last company took it as an article of faith that "you don't need to be liked in order to get results" (which, of course, was his self-justification for being an asshole to everyone, but he had really managed to convince himself of it). i was never able to explain to him how wrong it was, he just dismissed it as me being a techie who "didn't understand people".
With some experience and hindsight, it seems to me now that some kind of balance is what's required. What I strive for today as a manager is fairness and consistency during those tough moments when a team just isn't getting it done. And without a doubt, inspiration gets you much further than admonition. But when real money--and people's jobs--are at stake, sometimes it seems like the right thing is to disregard bruised egos.
Is there a right answer? I don't think so. Isn't what matters whether or not what you're doing works for you? If being an asshole is what worked for your ex-boss, do you think he would have been successful any other way?
Re: CEOs Don’t Come Pre-Made. Authentic Leadership Has To Be Learned
#13Re: CEOs Don’t Come Pre-Made. Authentic Leadership Has To Be Learned
#14the ceo of my last company took it as an article of faith that "you don't need to be liked in order to get results" (which, of course, was his self-justification for being an asshole to everyone, but he had really managed to convince himself of it). i was never able to explain to him how wrong it was, he just dismissed it as me being a techie who "didn't understand people".
I honestly struggled with this question for years. Your former boss seems to be missing some perspective, without a doubt, but isn't it possible to take likability too far? Isn't it the case that getting things done inevitably means stepping on some toes? With some experience and hindsight, it seems to me now that some kind of balance is what's required. What I strive for today as a manager is fairness and consistenc…
as for taking likability too far, being liked doesn't involve being a pushover, or not making hard calls. your subordinates aren't idiots; they know that sometimes being the boss involves requiring people to do things they are disinclined to, and letting people who aren't performing or making too many mistakes know in no uncertain terms that there is a problem that needs addressing. but the manner in which you do it makes a world of difference. getting in people's faces and yelling at the top of your voice, or harping on for ages about every minor screwup, isn't "getting things done", even if it may provide the immediate illusion of having taken care of the problem.
Re: CEOs Don’t Come Pre-Made. Authentic Leadership Has To Be Learned
#15I really like this article. It reinforces my belief that the best companies are run by genuinely good people with genuinely good intentions - in other words, that the idea of business as dominated by sleaze and cynicism is either a myth or a partial and declining truth. The section "Nix multi-task listening" really struck a chord for me. It can be challenging to really focus on listening to someone, especially if you…
That conclusion can't be drawn from that premise, and the premise is shaky.
Re: CEOs Don’t Come Pre-Made. Authentic Leadership Has To Be Learned
#16Reminds me of the Drucker quote: "Leadership cannot be taught or learned." [1] Which is funny, because the article itself is a lesson about what is required to become a leader. [1]- http://books.google.co.uk/books?id=mV3XM28AdoIC
Re: CEOs Don’t Come Pre-Made. Authentic Leadership Has To Be Learned
#17the ceo of my last company took it as an article of faith that "you don't need to be liked in order to get results" (which, of course, was his self-justification for being an asshole to everyone, but he had really managed to convince himself of it). i was never able to explain to him how wrong it was, he just dismissed it as me being a techie who "didn't understand people".
I honestly struggled with this question for years. Your former boss seems to be missing some perspective, without a doubt, but isn't it possible to take likability too far? Isn't it the case that getting things done inevitably means stepping on some toes? With some experience and hindsight, it seems to me now that some kind of balance is what's required. What I strive for today as a manager is fairness and consistenc…
Re: CEOs Don’t Come Pre-Made. Authentic Leadership Has To Be Learned
#18Earlier quoted context omitted.
There is an element of 'Become great, and then just do what comes naturally' here, though. Its both insightful and somewhat problematic, in the sense that inauthenticity is a red-flag, but authentic != good, so the converse is not true (not-inauthentic is not 'good', per-se ). TLDR: you need authentic (+) goodness, together.
In my opinion, comrade, there are some "great" leaders who neither good nor authentic.
Re: CEOs Don’t Come Pre-Made. Authentic Leadership Has To Be Learned
#19I love this quote, and it doesn't just apply to leaders or CEOs, it applies to people. Most people I know squirm in their own skin in their personal lives, playing a role of their own inventing. Very, very few people are comfortable enough with themselves to let the people around them peek inside. Interestingly, letting people see you squirm tends to have extremely therapeutic effect, so all that energy you wasted on putting up a facade was completely unnecessary.
That being said, I think there is a very fine line here, and excessive honesty can be disastrous. If you try to snatch the curtain away in one fell swoop while you're still uncomfortable in your own skin, what you think will seem authentic, will almost certainly be perceived as an outright panic (because that's what it is). You can't do it too early -- it's a gradual, often painful process of learning, self-acceptance, and building authentic relationships with other people. You're too scared to let the people see your inner self because you're weak, so you lift the curtain a little bit. Doing that gives you insights about yourself and about others, which in turn builds strength. Then you can lift the curtain a little more. Rinse, and repeat, hopefully for the rest of your life.
That being said, some people have a natural inclination to go through this process much, much quicker than others. It has certainly been a difficult process for me, and I'm still nowhere near the finish line (in fact, I think this process is asymptotic, and I am just now beginning see the asymptote somewhere in the distance).
Re: CEOs Don’t Come Pre-Made. Authentic Leadership Has To Be Learned
#20the ceo of my last company took it as an article of faith that "you don't need to be liked in order to get results" (which, of course, was his self-justification for being an asshole to everyone, but he had really managed to convince himself of it). i was never able to explain to him how wrong it was, he just dismissed it as me being a techie who "didn't understand people".