First, get a kazoo, chalk, 5 live chickens, and a sharp knife. Use the chalk to draw a numbered grid on the sidewalk; 10 should be fine. Divide the resumes into 10 groups. Cut the head off a chicken and see which number it wanders into. Repeat until you are down to one resume. Done and far more efficient than all the current methods. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Khvtqr-BxY
I’d actually respect recruiters doing this more than just piping their inbox to /dev/null