Skill issues – Dialectical Behavior Therapy and its discontents (2024)

As someone who’s likely soon wrapping up 18 years of psychodynamic-based therapy, where I learned to ask all right questions (and opportunity cost could have bought a brownstone in brooklyn), but didn’t get any actionable answers, I really appreciated the timeliness of this article.

That isn't an accurate summary of what the article says. The part you mentioned is telling about early manegerial sciences trying to fix workplace issues that arose during industrialization. The article itself doesn't offer any stance towards whether that was a good or a bad thing, which it would need to do if it "complains", as you said.

The article is mainly a nuanced perspective on DBT (Dialectic Behavioral Theory) and it focuses on the conundrum of patients finding themselves between finding value in their identity as an victim, the consequenxes it has for them and the condition which contributed to that trauma that remain unaddressed if they do just that:

> People often share a manifesto called the “Emotional Distress Bill of Rights” (subtitled “#RightToBeSuffering”). “I should not be held so personally responsible to take actions to be better,” it says. “Others (and systems) should be held far more accountable for better treatment of me.”

Imagine you live in an ancient society where cannibalism exist. If cannibals tried to eat you and you have a trauma of surviving that, you could go at the problem in two ways: (1) Blame a society that allows cannibalism to exist and try to reshape said society or (2) Focus on yourself and figure out how to move on from the trauma, how to deal with the consequences of said trauma and so on.

Doing the latter without changing the circumstances that lead you becoming victimized can feel like you become complicit in perpetuating the problem (in our example cannibalism).

This, other than the retelling of the origin story of that form of therapy, is probably the main point this article makes.

> Most versions of Zen are made-up export products designed to flatter Westerners. Kind of like the samurai movie honor bushido stuff.

I don't think so. If you go to a zenkai or a sesshin held by a western zendo, and then go to one at a Japanese temple, you won't notice too many differences, apart from the language. Many American zen teachers trained in Japan at some point, or their teachers did, and they brought these practices back more or less verbatim. In fact, in many American zendos, students chant the same sutras, _in Japanese_, as in Japanese zendos. Plus, there are regulatory bodies, like the Soto Zen school, that certify affiliated western zendos as authoritative. It's not made-up, it's hardly an "export product," and it certainly isn't designed to flatter anyone.

> https://vividness.live/zen-vs-the-u-s-navy

That seems like a rambling, self-published book by a Vajrayana practitioner with an axe to grind against Zen, for some bizarre reason. But there are plenty of real books about the rise of American Zen, or Buddhism in the west, that are well-researched. _Zen in America_ by Helen Tworkov is one.

> Japanese people think Buddhism is a thing you do at funerals.

Not at all. Buddhism, and Zen especially, permeate Japanese culture very deeply. Japanese aesthetics, architecture, landscape design, visual art, calligraphy, the tea ceremony, and the martial arts, have all been strongly influenced by Zen. And it's all over pop culture, too—just think of how pervasive Daruma dolls are—that's Bodhidharma, the founder of Zen. Sure, Buddhism is at funerals, but it's everywhere, else, too.

> If you get into it more seriously, I vaguely understand it's mostly a religion that tells you not to have sex.

Maybe you're thinking of Christianity? Unless you're a monk, attitudes towards sex are fairly liberal in Buddhism. There are bodhisattva precepts that caution against misusing sex, but nowhere does anyone tell you not to have it. In fact, it's largely unconcerned with it, let alone "mostly a religion that tells you not to have" it. Western religions are very concerned with telling you what to do and not do, but Buddhism is concerned with liberation.

Well, and most Catholics only go to mass once a year. If then.

There is a bit more to it, if you’re interested though.

Most westerners also do a lot more Yoga than typical Indians.

I like CBT. I just don't do it enough. I do like it when I do it though. (behavioral experiments). I think it is important to have goals and results and feedback, as without those, you'd be wandering aimlessly challenging your thoughts/beliefs to no end. I hope to get more consistent in it.

I am generally very good at forming and maintaining habits, but often life gets in the way. Also, it is good to have an external view, sometimes you feel like you're doing shit when you're not. I need an accountability partner I guess. Let's see how it goes. Thanks.