11–20 of 38 posts
Go feed some pigeons. Seriously, just buy a bag of seed, go find some pigeons, and feed them. Now, watch them, carefully… see how hard they work, every day, even when they’re hobbling around on grotesque stumps where their feet used to be before they got wrapped up in our discarded waste. Notice how something can put so much effort into just surviving, against all the odds, and against the abuse and mistreatment and…
When I was in a similar rut/loop the best thing that happened to me was when I finally stopped trying to keep up appearances, got honest and asked for help.
It was embarrassing to finally humble myself to ask for help, luckily embarrassment isn’t life threatening, just really uncomfortable for a minute.
The people in my life wanted to help me more than they wanted repayment. They helped in finding a gp the gp helped find a psychologist and then they all helped find a psychiatrist.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
Well, how will I live if I don't make money or am useful. I appreciate your words, but this world is no utopia, humans have always had to have some utility to exist since the days we evolved into our current form. We are just slightly better animals, and wildlife is brutal. And, so is this world we inhabit. I already got tested for it by multiple different professionals, they seem to think I don't have it. And people…
If you aren't suitable for white collar track, you very well know you can get into blue collar trades or become a taxi driver. The tests for ADHD and some variations of depression are leaky, erroneous shit. Just get the drugs (Adderall xr, Wellbutrin) and see if these help. You say you tried some NDRI spectrum drugs, this probably means you have some rare type of depression or schizo spectrum disorder, or something e…
Go feed some pigeons. Seriously, just buy a bag of seed, go find some pigeons, and feed them. Now, watch them, carefully… see how hard they work, every day, even when they’re hobbling around on grotesque stumps where their feet used to be before they got wrapped up in our discarded waste. Notice how something can put so much effort into just surviving, against all the odds, and against the abuse and mistreatment and…
Earlier quoted context omitted.
If you aren't suitable for white collar track, you very well know you can get into blue collar trades or become a taxi driver. The tests for ADHD and some variations of depression are leaky, erroneous shit. Just get the drugs (Adderall xr, Wellbutrin) and see if these help. You say you tried some NDRI spectrum drugs, this probably means you have some rare type of depression or schizo spectrum disorder, or something e…
I am not wired to get intrinsic motivation from anything. period.
... You seem to have intrinsic motivation to write longish texts though, unironically.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
If you aren't suitable for white collar track, you very well know you can get into blue collar trades or become a taxi driver. The tests for ADHD and some variations of depression are leaky, erroneous shit. Just get the drugs (Adderall xr, Wellbutrin) and see if these help. You say you tried some NDRI spectrum drugs, this probably means you have some rare type of depression or schizo spectrum disorder, or something e…
I am not wired to get intrinsic motivation from anything. period.
first, you don't need to reward or payback your parent. You don't need to feel guilty for the love and support of your parent. second, it is never too late. you already had a time machine. your future 70 year old self transported you back so that you had awareness and wrote this post but you can't remember that you're from the future. But you do know that you can make a difference starting now. Don't aim for big chan…
I do owe my parents, firstly because I am adopted and secondly, they went above and beyond for me in every way they could. Thank you for the kind words, I appreciate them. I am trying small daily improvements now, for the millionth time. But the fear and the guilt is overwhelming, and I am never gonna catch up to other normal people, much less high earners. And then there is AI.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
I am not wired to get intrinsic motivation from anything. period.
Anhedonia or negative symptoms of schizophrenia, or something else, might be even me/cfs, or obscure allergy. ... You seem to have intrinsic motivation to write longish texts though, unironically.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
I do owe my parents, firstly because I am adopted and secondly, they went above and beyond for me in every way they could. Thank you for the kind words, I appreciate them. I am trying small daily improvements now, for the millionth time. But the fear and the guilt is overwhelming, and I am never gonna catch up to other normal people, much less high earners. And then there is AI.
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Although, my bio parents and grandparents were white-collar or white collar adjacent at least. And one of my bio grandpa was very conscientious and active well into old age