11–20 of 20 posts
As a parent of a planned 2 year old I can most assuredly say I never thought "I want kids", it's difficult to even say any decision was made at all, beyond an unexpected awareness the environment for it was perfect and there was no friction. Everything else naturally flows from this and it really didn't require much discussion beyond that.
That said, I absolutely love being a parent. So if you ever are considering it, just know that 3 year old is _much_ easier than a 1 year old. And then before you know it your 7 year old will out-build you in Minecraft and it’s even more fun :)
I'm probably not the target audience for this blog post, but if parenting humbles you this much you probably started a little too early. > It’s not that I want to help a new human being for the rest of their life by sacrificing myself; no, I want something for myself, someone in this case. I want kids. This part is the smoking gun. > However, that selfish aspect of the planning phase goes away very soon. There's noth…
Is there an age where parenting wouldn’t humble you? Or is a precise degree of humbling you’re trying to get at? And what’s the sign you’re talking about? It sounds ominous but I didn’t get it. I also don’t understand what smoking gun you’re seeing. IMO selfish is used too carelessly by the author. It’s not selfish, it’s just a want. Wants aren’t inherently selfish. And in that frame, I’d agree with the author. In ty…
I don't think there's a specific age. It's different for everyone. There should be a point in life when you have it good and know how to keep it that way. You need to have been through enough ups and downs yourself that kids are no longer a "sacrifice".
> the joy as being able to appreciate the world from your children’s eyes, along with all their enthusiasm for it. The world anew.
Yeah don't take this the wrong way, but I think this sentimental thinking might be part of the problem. The parent can find all the joy they want in raising their kids, but that's not really the task at hand. The locus of control needs to be internal especially if you're a parent.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
Is there an age where parenting wouldn’t humble you? Or is a precise degree of humbling you’re trying to get at? And what’s the sign you’re talking about? It sounds ominous but I didn’t get it. I also don’t understand what smoking gun you’re seeing. IMO selfish is used too carelessly by the author. It’s not selfish, it’s just a want. Wants aren’t inherently selfish. And in that frame, I’d agree with the author. In ty…
> Is there an age where parenting wouldn’t humble you? I don't think there's a specific age. It's different for everyone. There should be a point in life when you have it good and know how to keep it that way. You need to have been through enough ups and downs yourself that kids are no longer a "sacrifice". > the joy as being able to appreciate the world from your children’s eyes, along with all their enthusiasm for…
As someone who doesn’t have children and likely never will, I can think of few things more upsetting than reckoning with the judgmental attitudes of the “I made a baby” crowd. If making a baby is what it took for you to become a human being, that says way more about you than it does about birthing a child.
Yet it’s people who think like this who will be coming with pitchforks for those of us who wouldn’t — or, imagine it, couldn’t - feed the meat grinder. De-humanizing language is a requirement for such a movement.
And why is your baby's health so much more important than that of the other hundred million babies in the world? Because it's (half) yours. Your selfish genes made you for this moment; all the bloodlines that didn't sacrifice for their babies died off. You can claim to be less solipsistic; but not a whit less selfish.
Guess being a wizard makes me less than human, huh? (I know this isn't about us/me, but these posts aimed at "normal" people can be so...)
I expect it’s less offensive in full form than it is in its clickbait title, but this line of thinking is beyond disturbing to me. As someone who doesn’t have children and likely never will, I can think of few things more upsetting than reckoning with the judgmental attitudes of the “I made a baby” crowd. If making a baby is what it took for you to become a human being, that says way more about you than it does about…
I’m sorry this article felt that way. My intention was not so much saying that you cannot be in touch with that human side if you’re not a parent. It was more about celebrating the good parts of parenting when it comes to how they change you.
That said, I can understand how this could be seen how you shared it, thank you for your thoughts!
Guess being a wizard makes me less than human, huh? (I know this isn't about us/me, but these posts aimed at "normal" people can be so...)
A wizard?