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It's not necessarily a direct causal relationship. Research shows that the reduced anxiety associated with forgiveness is more causally connected to intermediate factors such as managing anger and an optimistic/hopeful viewpoint rather than forgiveness per se. See e.g.: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10120569/
No mention of the dimension and consequences of what to forgive. Forgetting to take out the trash is not the same as sleeping with somebody else. > "Once a cheater, always a cheater." [...] Someone is three times more likely to cheat if they have cheated in the past. https://www.du.edu/news/once-cheater-always-cheater-du-study...
There's currently a cultural pressure to forgive, as if that's the only option. That makes things more difficult for those who are not able to forgive. There is no right way to process a wrong.
I think it can set your free, but I don't think it's a necessity. I think it's totally possible to move on and process something without forgiving. There's currently a cultural pressure to forgive, as if that's the only option. That makes things more difficult for those who are not able to forgive. There is no right way to process a wrong.
Currently, as in since Christianity became popular?
I’m reminded of a song lyric by Die Antwoord:
I hope my enemies live long, so they can see me prosper.No mention of the dimension and consequences of what to forgive. Forgetting to take out the trash is not the same as sleeping with somebody else. > "Once a cheater, always a cheater." [...] Someone is three times more likely to cheat if they have cheated in the past. https://www.du.edu/news/once-cheater-always-cheater-du-study...
It's not about staying with the person and not expecting to be cheated again. Forgiveness is about whether you break up and stay angry for the rest of your life, or break up and stop caring about it.
One of those is trivially and obviously counterproductive, with no upside at all.
Some people stay together, or keep their relationship whatever it was, and don't forgive each other, over whatever. Others forgive, but move on, and no longer have anything to do with each other.
Forgiveness and maintaining a relationship are independent things. They obviously affect and interact with each other, but they are independent of each other, nonetheless. :)
Also, I tend to believe Jesus, as in: turn the other cheek. That's a super power, because it actually saves you from doing something stupid that will hurt you more than, or at least as much as, hurt them.
Alternately, if you know that karma exists, then forgiveness takes on a different dimension. It's actually super badass. Because until you forgive and let go, the universe or karma, is waiting on you to dish out whatever you want to do, before it to takes its own vengeance -- giving you the right of first refusal, or whatever.
Once you forgive and let go, you free up the floodgates of karma to find their rightful home. You're no longer in the way. The universe doesn't have to wait on you anymore giving you the right to first reply, because you've already let go. In effect, you've outsourced your 'revenge', so to speak.
Until then the universe is waiting on you to make the first move, if you need to, so it probably won't do anything, so as to not interfere with your free will to take revenge if you want. But if you forgive, then you get someone else to (the universe, karma) do revenge for you, and you don't have to do anything, and nothing bad happens to you. It's the perfect badass move.
Therefore, forgiveness is the ultimate revenge.
But also, in another way, it's the ultimate revenge, because by forgiving you are saying, "Your capacity to affect me is so insignificant, you have no power, nothing. Your past actions have become nothing at all, as if they never existed, worthless."
Forgiveness is the ultimate flex.
Look what Jesus did on the cross. He pities his killers. Rightly so, but who pulls a flex like that? Jesus does. Pretty cool. And very enlightened.
Not easy to do tho. But definitely worth it. :)
I sense a false dichotomy/dilemma approaching: > The Dilemma: David has two choices
This article did not persue other options.
Like: "Don't forgive, but let go".
Don't forgive, but let go of the smoldering grudge.
More like "Trust but Verify"