Not feeling like I belong anywhere • Hacker News Board

Re: Not feeling like I belong anywhere

#11

Post by dostoynikov » Mon, Feb 26, 2024, 1:14 PM UTC

yogorenapan wrote: post #7

This really resonates with me. I have never stayed in the same place for more than 3 years my entire life and also haven’t been able to form any long term friendships. With all the moving, I’ve pretty much lost my ability to care for people. The scariest part was realizing I no longer felt any sense of family after being made to stay with strangers for 2 years between age 10-12. I still don’t know how to cope, or per…

I'm not sure if it is something to be wrong or right. Maybe it is just a different color, perspective. Because it also has pros as well.

Re: Not feeling like I belong anywhere

#12

Post by dostoynikov » Mon, Feb 26, 2024, 1:18 PM UTC

throwaway38937 wrote: post #5

You get conscious about plugging into or creating community, and you don’t wait around for it to happen. That’s a skill that can be developed. You pay attention to how things are done differently, take notes, and try to be ready to incorporate the best of all worlds. And hopefully you learn to appreciate all the incredible advantages to be had in staying somewhere longer. At least that’s how I feel, moving between 7…

If I don't care about being "myself", I can easily plug into or create community. It is not about ability to be honest. I want it but when I have it I want to get rid of it quickly.

If I ever could stay somewhere long enough to take a root, I probably would be a completely different person. I feel both glad and sad for the life I lived.

Re: Not feeling like I belong anywhere

#13

Post by dostoynikov » Mon, Feb 26, 2024, 1:22 PM UTC

devwastaken wrote: post #8

On a rock flying through space in a solar system flying around a black hole that is moving towards some other larger part of space - what is belonging? "belonging", to me, is a human phenomenon that doesn't need much. We want to have our human experience shared, for our existence to be validated. It's so tied to nature that people have bars they frequent as they drown in alcoholism. The interesting part about it is t…

>all of society is based on the premise of building it when it didn't exist yet. Just the same we can create our belonging, and that's the scary part.

I definitely agree with this. I love process of creating, forming something. After it is created, it loses all its charm and becomes something to get rid of.