Awesome. On a side note, I wonder why this culture of popularity has to be the default in our schools?
Paul Graham explores this question at great length in his essay, "Why Nerds Are Unpopular": http://www.paulgraham.com/nerds.html
"That's Why You Don't Have Any Friends."
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Re: "That's Why You Don't Have Any Friends."
#12Awesome. On a side note, I wonder why this culture of popularity has to be the default in our schools?
Wanting to be popular is a popular topic in high school.
Re: "That's Why You Don't Have Any Friends."
#13There is also a hidden aspect of it: Those people who don't overcome teenage awkwardness. Those who never regain their confidence and end up the weird tech dude at the office whom no one ever speaks to. This guy might be able to feed the kids confidence, and then you can encourage "weirdness", but it isn't always as easy as that. Sometimes parents should just tell their kids to go play sports or whatever, no matter if they want it or not, just so they can learn to interact with other people and "be normal".
Re: "That's Why You Don't Have Any Friends."
#14Awesome. On a side note, I wonder why this culture of popularity has to be the default in our schools?
Because kids are uncontrolled there (in varying degrees), so they tend to self organize.
PS: this is default culture in any school.
Re: "That's Why You Don't Have Any Friends."
#15Slightly off-topic, but still relevant: a great quote from Alain de Botton: "Intimacy is the capacity to be rather weird with someone - and finding that that's ok with them." https://twitter.com/#!/alaindebotton/status/1924914438840115...
Not at all off-topic. Its spot on, and entirely relevant in this context.
In general pretty fun to read something that captures something so fundamental. Wish there were more folks like joe peacock to say those words to the awkward 14 - 16 year olds we were. Would have alleviated the pain a little bit.
Re: "That's Why You Don't Have Any Friends."
#16There is also a hidden aspect of it: Those people who don't overcome teenage awkwardness. Those who never regain their confidence and end up the weird tech dude at the office whom no one ever speaks to. This guy might be able to feed the kids confidence, and then you can encourage "weirdness", but it isn't always as easy as that. Sometimes parents should just tell their kids to go play sports or whatever, no matter i…
I second that. Better title would be "That's Why You Probably Won't Have Any Friends.".
Re: "That's Why You Don't Have Any Friends."
#17The author's observation about high school is exactly why my kids, by default, will be home schooled. If they decide they want to go to public or private school at some point, I'll let them. Unlike a lot of kids that end up getting bullied, they'll know that their attendance is completely optional. I'm not looking to shelter them from the real world, only the fake miniature society that exists at school.
While I understand your point of view based on this one observation, I think this is a terrible idea if you look at the big picture.
Whether they get bullied or not, high school is an extremely important time for kids to gain social skills and learn how to deal with people. Dealing with people is one of the most important skills you can have, period. And that often means dealing with people that are being dicks, and people who you like and are good friends. And if people are being dicks, which they inevitably will be, it's a good time for you to think about it, build your self confidence, and figure out who you are.
I understand that sheltering them from the real world is not your motivation for this opinion, but it is the reality of what will happen. Your kids will miss out on a huge period of personal growth and a large expansion of their experience dealing with other people which they will never be able to get back later.
Re: "That's Why You Don't Have Any Friends."
#18The author's observation about high school is exactly why my kids, by default, will be home schooled. If they decide they want to go to public or private school at some point, I'll let them. Unlike a lot of kids that end up getting bullied, they'll know that their attendance is completely optional. I'm not looking to shelter them from the real world, only the fake miniature society that exists at school.
I went to Bell High school in Canada as a gifted student, and I can say that I never experienced any kind of bullying - and I was very weird. Everyone was weird. It was great, and very much not like elementary school.
Re: "That's Why You Don't Have Any Friends."
#19Is this a US thing?
In Ukraine, no-one is weird. No-one is a geek, or a nerd -- there aren't even equivalent words in our language. Nobody thinks less of you if you're smart, shy, or talk about transistors on occasion. There are no "popular kids", and even the scariest kid in school is not a bully.
So, again, what is wrong with US schools?
Re: "That's Why You Don't Have Any Friends."
#20Awesome. On a side note, I wonder why this culture of popularity has to be the default in our schools?
Do you think it's just limited to schools?