11–20 of 57 posts
I managed to trick myself into feeling sympathy ( e.g. for the victims ) in many cases people demand my anger, but I have not found a replacement for being offended.
My progress began when I stopped putting up with some jerk professors in my department and decided to just do what I wanted to do. The moment I stopped justifying the way they were treating me I realized just what an unhealthy dynamic I had put up with. Maybe I needed to get seriously offended in order to completely be done with that.
>A shitstorm ensued, the Church got shutdown-offended, and Galileo spent the rest of his life under house arrest. We’re so offended, we can’t even disagree, we shut shit down. This is really bad history in a very relevant way to the topic. The Church wasn't really offended, they disagreed. The church in that case included most scientists at the time. This was because Galileo's theory didn't actually check out at all…
You decide which is better for the circumstances of your life.
"The Dread" is a good north star for discovering what to improve next, since most Dreads are somewhat common/shared among peers, communities and colleagues. Being able to do something nobody likes to do is a good edge against the world.
>A shitstorm ensued, the Church got shutdown-offended, and Galileo spent the rest of his life under house arrest. We’re so offended, we can’t even disagree, we shut shit down. This is really bad history in a very relevant way to the topic. The Church wasn't really offended, they disagreed. The church in that case included most scientists at the time. This was because Galileo's theory didn't actually check out at all…
Author here— interesting! Mind sharing some stuff where I can learn more about this?
See e.g. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Galileo_affair#Historians_and_...
Also, reflecting on your other example (Damore) there are plenty of situations where it's possible to disagree and be offended.
Oof please don’t. Unless of course I can say that this very much offends me…
It's a tongue-in-cheek title. The author proposes something akin to cognitive behavioral therapy, to voluntarily seek out 'offending' situations to learn to behave in disagreement mode instead of offended mode.
If anything I feel that the stereotypical “terminally online” person might try to get offended a bit less.
(That person used to be me, I’m not pointing at some outgroup)
My motto is "Follow the Dread". If I dread public speaking I should do it, if I dread setting up IPsec VPNs I should do more of it, if I dread working with money and run a business as opposed to working solely as a technical person I should do it, so on and so forth. "The Dread" is a good north star for discovering what to improve next, since most Dreads are somewhat common/shared among peers, communities and colleag…
To the articles point though is that you can be offended and feel anxiety and dread without having to completely shut down the entire discussion. This being in your 10% beyond comfort zone, this is where you - in your offended state - should actually be the most open to learning. Why did they say that? Why do they think that way? Is there reasoning or is it impulsive? How to I articulate an argument for my side when they behave this way?
This is how adults handle being offended during a discussion. You can even voice that you are offended by the remarks. What you don’t have is carte blanche to sling assaults and prevent freedom of speech.
Am I misreading something or is this just a way to stay stuck in perpetual internet flamewars? If anything I feel that the stereotypical “terminally online” person might try to get offended a bit less . (That person used to be me, I’m not pointing at some outgroup)
> By getting offended more, you actually get to figure out who you are and what you care about. You react less, respond more. You develop real compassion. You practice alchemy upon yourself.
I think that "reacting less" would prevent flamewars.