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How do HN users go about meeting significant others?
11–20 of 22 posts
Re: How do HN users go about meeting significant others?
#12Apps did not just fail to help me meet someone. They really harmed my self esteem. Even when a match on an app becomes a real date, the lack of any context other than the app makes those dates really weird. "Could I have kids with this suspicious stranger from the Internet?" I could never be myself. Never had a second date through an app. Met my SO after I had stopped looking for romance at a hobby club. In social an…
How does an adult working a full time job even meet 200-300 people let alone become acquaintances/friends with them? I find it a struggle to even become casual acquaintances with more than a handful of people a year.
Over 2 years, I attended once or twice weekly public speaking meetings. Became president of a club, VP of another, member of another (most are biweekly). Mentored and worked with dozens, met hundreds, spoke in front of thousands.
There are some very low resistance social graphs. Just travel them consistently.
Re: How do HN users go about meeting significant others?
#13Apps did not just fail to help me meet someone. They really harmed my self esteem. Even when a match on an app becomes a real date, the lack of any context other than the app makes those dates really weird. "Could I have kids with this suspicious stranger from the Internet?" I could never be myself. Never had a second date through an app. Met my SO after I had stopped looking for romance at a hobby club. In social an…
How does an adult working a full time job even meet 200-300 people let alone become acquaintances/friends with them? I find it a struggle to even become casual acquaintances with more than a handful of people a year.
If your social life is this small, then simply the pool of candidates is so small. You need to expand how many people you meet by a lot. Only then you can start thinking about how to attract romance, how to approach, etc, which is all a lot easier if you just meet a lot of people.
Re: How do HN users go about meeting significant others?
#14I met my wife on a dating app, and we would have 100% never met without it. She is from Central America and happened to be visiting the US for a month. We went on a date, and then two and then three. Her one month stay turned into a five month stay.
We did long distance back and forth for ~2 years and then got engaged and married and now she lives with me in the US.
Re: How do HN users go about meeting significant others?
#15Earlier quoted context omitted.
How does an adult working a full time job even meet 200-300 people let alone become acquaintances/friends with them? I find it a struggle to even become casual acquaintances with more than a handful of people a year.
I played adult rec league sports for many years. Ended up dating 5 people from that, 3 seriously, and married one of them. I’m sure I met many hundreds of people over that time, all while having a full-time job and while doing an activity I inherently enjoyed.
I get this is how people meet but I never liked this dynamic. Most relationships end and it can make it weird for everyone else. Wish fewer people comingled their hobbies and dating life like this.
Re: How do HN users go about meeting significant others?
#16Apps did not just fail to help me meet someone. They really harmed my self esteem. Even when a match on an app becomes a real date, the lack of any context other than the app makes those dates really weird. "Could I have kids with this suspicious stranger from the Internet?" I could never be myself. Never had a second date through an app. Met my SO after I had stopped looking for romance at a hobby club. In social an…
How does an adult working a full time job even meet 200-300 people let alone become acquaintances/friends with them? I find it a struggle to even become casual acquaintances with more than a handful of people a year.
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Re: How do HN users go about meeting significant others?
#17Apps did not just fail to help me meet someone. They really harmed my self esteem. Even when a match on an app becomes a real date, the lack of any context other than the app makes those dates really weird. "Could I have kids with this suspicious stranger from the Internet?" I could never be myself. Never had a second date through an app. Met my SO after I had stopped looking for romance at a hobby club. In social an…
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Re: How do HN users go about meeting significant others?
#18I met someone and stuck with them.
It was a long time ago...before online dating so make of it what you will.
But it never was an optimization problem.
With relationships, all the work is ahead or it's not a relationship.
The selection process feels like work, but it isn't because it is easier than the work of a relationship.
Easier than the work of making a relationship work.
Good luck.
Re: How do HN users go about meeting significant others?
#19Earlier quoted context omitted.
I played adult rec league sports for many years. Ended up dating 5 people from that, 3 seriously, and married one of them. I’m sure I met many hundreds of people over that time, all while having a full-time job and while doing an activity I inherently enjoyed.
I get this is how people meet but I never liked this dynamic. Most relationships end and it can make it weird for everyone else. Wish fewer people comingled their hobbies and dating life like this.
How do you expect people to partner??
Re: How do HN users go about meeting significant others?
#20My grandma arranged me a meeting with a nice family oriented girl but I run off because the thing seemed weird. Looking back, my life would be much better had I listened to grandma instead of getting married to a pretty girl I met on the street.