11–20 of 37 posts
I'm a bit younger than you, but I have had a similar realization. I love programming, but sitting around all day at a desk does not seem fun for the next several decades, and really doesn't do my social/mental health much good, despite the amount of money. So, I'm working to become a pilot instead. It's expensive, time consuming, competitive, and probably won't see six figures for half a decade or more. But, it's a h…
I'd suggest not doing anything rash like quitting your job or switching careers unless you are at a crossroad and ready to make the switch, such as a job that just let you go. Therapy was a great option. I wish I opted for it but instead, I had family and friends and up until today, which is the last day I will be "related to her by law", I didn't want to let her go, but I've come to peace since it is now a reality.
You are a free man currently and can do anything you want. Don't rush into another relationship. Learn more about who you are, what you want, and what you don't want. Make time to exercise.. commit to an hour a day. I have to admit, I haven't been great at it, often having severe anxiety, and I think it was because I was left in a house full of memories for the past 2 years, just drowning in reminders, while fearing going outside.
My brother called me with an opportunity to run one of his businesses across the country, so I'm headed to try that out for a few months and hoping it goes well. He's a bit of a hardass and wants everyone to be exactly like him, so I'm hoping it does last, but we'll see!
Go to a movie. See what events are around your town and go to them. Call up friends you neglected while you were in your relationship and ask if they'd like to catch up and actually plan a date. Life is not over. It's still going on.. with or without you.
Do what you can to keep your mind off her. Understand you'll go through your series of pain, depression, and acceptance moments. Have a person or two you can trust. You aren't alone in this either.
Pay and benefits are reasonable. They seem to be in high demand in my area (Pacific NW) and the work is physical without being so grueling that it destroys one's body.
Job satisfaction is key. I hear good things about Physical Therapist. Think about it.
I once spent a couple months building houses with a construction crew, and that was both physical and educational. I still enjoy walking into houses and buildings, looking around, and knowing how they're put together. It's like I can see through walls now, to the frame and studs. Getting out in the sun and doing physical labor was also refreshing and renewing, if also tiring. And no one will tell you it sounds like y…
SkyMarshal, how does a 31 year old programmer get into something like this? With little to no experience of construction?
Second, just be straight up with them - you've been working a sedentary desk job plugged into a computer building software apps for all of your twenties, and now want to spend some time learning how to build real world things and doing some actual physical activity. You're not sure how long you plan to do it, but at least long enough to learn the basics of the craft of building houses and similar sized buildings, maybe six months or so. You're inexperienced at construction, but are smart, have an engineering and problem solving mentality and experience, and can learn fast.
With luck you'll find one willing to take you on and assign you a crew that will mentor you. They'll start you on easy tasks, teach basic things like professional hammering technique, how to use power tools safely, etc. All things you can get a jump on just by searching on Youtube.
That's the gist of it. There will probably be more than one firm willing to take someone smart and reliable and train them up, even if you're up front about not knowing how long you intend to do it.
PS - it also occurs to me another interesting kind of company to work for would be a local machining and manufacturing company, if any are in your area. There are all sorts of cool videos on Youtube about precision machining and manufacturing that might appeal to a programmer. Same process as above.