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Why do Ivy League students self-sabotage?

movingthelimit.com

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Re: Why do Ivy League students self-sabotage?

#11

Post by the6thwonder »

josh_fyi wrote: post #5

I studied at Harvard and the answer is that they want to pretend to be so smart and talented that they don't need to work. The image is of the effete aristocrat who enjoys life without lifting a finger. Think of George W. Bush: Got into Yale (Harvard too!) because his blue-blood line always did. Mediocre grades. Lots of alcohol and drugs. (Quit that later.) Avoided Vietnam with the cushiest fun job as a fighter pilot…

It would be ironic if he did work extremely hhard and gave you this perception of effortlessness.

Re: Why do Ivy League students self-sabotage?

#12

Post by klabb3 »

josh_fyi wrote: post #5

I studied at Harvard and the answer is that they want to pretend to be so smart and talented that they don't need to work. The image is of the effete aristocrat who enjoys life without lifting a finger. Think of George W. Bush: Got into Yale (Harvard too!) because his blue-blood line always did. Mediocre grades. Lots of alcohol and drugs. (Quit that later.) Avoided Vietnam with the cushiest fun job as a fighter pilot…

Sure there are people like you paint. But this is a wide psychological phenomena that comes up in all spectrums of privilege. Impostor syndrome, the “gifted kid” memes with chronic anxiety, and here students who start flailing once the non-structured life of adulthood creeps up on them.

Re: Why do Ivy League students self-sabotage?

#13

Post by ldjkfkdsjnv »

A bunch of Harvard grads I know have ridden that name for a decade. A small example, one was slacking off in a tech company, got laid off. They raised 1M to "do AI", with no technical skills at all. They hired a dev, six months later with no product raised a 5M seed round at a 25M valuation. No product released.

Re: Why do Ivy League students self-sabotage?

#16

Post by phibz »

What the author describes is many people. Being at an ivy league school doesn't change that. In fact it might make it harder.

Through overcoming stuggle and strife we become stronger. Most of us are scared children walking around in adult bodies unaware how tenuous our grip on life is.

Dont worry about them. Focus on yourself. When you get kicked in the teeth do your best to get back up.

Re: Why do Ivy League students self-sabotage?

#17

Post by weard_beard »

Swizec wrote: post #4

Another common reason for self-sabotage that the article doesn’t mention is ego. Failure sucks, especially when it’s because you just aren’t good enough. But if you self-sabotage, at least you were right. You thought you’d fail and you did fail. Ego wins! And who knows, maybe if you actually tried, you wouldn’t have failed! You weren’t not good enough after all, you just didn’t try. You totally could’ve done it if yo…

Could be they just get tired of the falsity of their role in modern American corporate culture just like the rest of us. But when they burn out it’s more visible.

Why shouldn’t they want to have opinions and goals and have needs that aren’t compatible with what they do for a living just like everyone else?

Re: Why do Ivy League students self-sabotage?

#18

Post by MatthiasPortzel »

Although not Ivy League, I also suffered from a paralyzing fear of failure for part of my college career. Somewhat paradoxically, I was able to overcome it by lowering my standards, allowing me to spend time working on assignments without stress. The completed assignments then frequently earned good or better grades than I was previously worrying about getting.

I could say a lot more about specifically how I changed my habits to enable this, but this comment will have to do for now.

Re: Why do Ivy League students self-sabotage?

#19

Post by jiggawatts »

ldjkfkdsjnv wrote: post #13

A bunch of Harvard grads I know have ridden that name for a decade. A small example, one was slacking off in a tech company, got laid off. They raised 1M to "do AI", with no technical skills at all. They hired a dev, six months later with no product raised a 5M seed round at a 25M valuation. No product released.

Sounds like that Harvard education really paid off!

Re: Why do Ivy League students self-sabotage?

#20

Post by bruce511 »

Some are born with goals, some find their own goals, and some have goals thrust upon them.

Being a smart kid can be hard. Parents, teachers and peers see that mythical attribute "potential" and push you in directions to reach it.

Get A's in school? Gotta be a doctor or lawyer. (OK, that ages me, today they'd be pushing for programmer.)

Graduating college with a degree you never wanted must be depressing for the person who sees it as a work-prison and a life sentence. Better to fail, to drop out, to disappointed all, to get a chance to start over.

The very lucky few, and I count myself among them, have both potential and the freedom to find their own path - the thing that provides pleasure - where people pay you to do what you love. And adults around you who accept that, even if it's not a high-prestige occupation. (Programming in the 80s wasn't the career choice it is today.)

Ivy league students don't get there by themselves. A life-time of adults help you, pay for you, drive you around, push you. To those whom much is given, much is expected. And the weight of expectation can sit very heavy.

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