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The Never Married, a New Normal

psychologytoday.com

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Re: The Never Married, a New Normal

#11

Post by kitsunesoba »

mindvirus wrote: post #5

Marriage is a tough proposition in the west these days. The cost of childcare has never been higher, both in terms of dollars and opportunity cost, not to mention housing. Of course there are other benefits to getting married, but without the goal of family feeling attainable to many, a major driver for marriage is gone.

It's because of all of this that I've for many years felt a need to have all my ducks in a row before even considering dating with the intention of starting a serious long-term relationship, let alone getting married. No judgement towards anybody with different feelings — everybody's situations differ — but I'd feel like I was irresponsibly leading on the partner in question if I weren't financially reasonably prepared for the commitment involved.

Re: The Never Married, a New Normal

#12

Post by [deleted] »

giantg2 wrote: post #9
mindvirus wrote: post #5

Marriage is a tough proposition in the west these days. The cost of childcare has never been higher, both in terms of dollars and opportunity cost, not to mention housing. Of course there are other benefits to getting married, but without the goal of family feeling attainable to many, a major driver for marriage is gone.

A lot of it is unknown costs too. You might know exactly what it costs to raise a child, but in the event of a divorce the support payments are based on a percent of income and not the actual cost. The courts can basically make any decision they want.

[deleted]

Re: The Never Married, a New Normal

#13

Post by 0xB31B1B »

jitl wrote: post #10

My partner and I have been together for 7 years, we bought a house together, haven’t found a compelling reason to get married. Marriage is a complex and binding contract that for two high earners is a tax disadvantage. The most prominent benefits I’ve learned are some situations around visitation rights, and avoiding being compelled to testify against your spouse. It comes from a very dubious history of the husband e…

Married people report significantly higher levels of happiness/life satisfaction in the middle and later stages of life than non married people. This is a durable finding across many studies.

Re: The Never Married, a New Normal

#15

Post by andrei_says_ »

0xB31B1B wrote: post #13
jitl wrote: post #10

My partner and I have been together for 7 years, we bought a house together, haven’t found a compelling reason to get married. Marriage is a complex and binding contract that for two high earners is a tax disadvantage. The most prominent benefits I’ve learned are some situations around visitation rights, and avoiding being compelled to testify against your spouse. It comes from a very dubious history of the husband e…

Married people report significantly higher levels of happiness/life satisfaction in the middle and later stages of life than non married people. This is a durable finding across many studies.

Married people vs singles or vs long terms partners living together?

Re: The Never Married, a New Normal

#16

Post by jitl »

0xB31B1B wrote: post #13
jitl wrote: post #10

My partner and I have been together for 7 years, we bought a house together, haven’t found a compelling reason to get married. Marriage is a complex and binding contract that for two high earners is a tax disadvantage. The most prominent benefits I’ve learned are some situations around visitation rights, and avoiding being compelled to testify against your spouse. It comes from a very dubious history of the husband e…

Married people report significantly higher levels of happiness/life satisfaction in the middle and later stages of life than non married people. This is a durable finding across many studies.

Is it the marriage contract that brings the happiness? Or is it a lifelong relationship with someone they love? Do such studies have a reporting group for “we’ve been together 40 years but didn’t get married”?

Re: The Never Married, a New Normal

#17

Post by rullelito »

0xB31B1B wrote: post #13
jitl wrote: post #10

My partner and I have been together for 7 years, we bought a house together, haven’t found a compelling reason to get married. Marriage is a complex and binding contract that for two high earners is a tax disadvantage. The most prominent benefits I’ve learned are some situations around visitation rights, and avoiding being compelled to testify against your spouse. It comes from a very dubious history of the husband e…

Married people report significantly higher levels of happiness/life satisfaction in the middle and later stages of life than non married people. This is a durable finding across many studies.

Doesn't mean marriage affects your happiness.

Re: The Never Married, a New Normal

#18

Post by hotpotamus »

dzogchen wrote: post #2

In the Netherlands, there is virtually no societal difference between people that are in a long-term relationship and live together, and married people. To the point that people call themselves husband and wife if they technically 'just' live together. My German girlfriend was shocked to learn this, in other countries (and cultures) marriage really is more of a 'thing'.

In the US that would be called a common law marriage and basically ends up creating a marriage that is recognized by the law (for good or ill). Basically if you say you're married, then you're married. I assume the American tradition comes from English common law because of the name, but I doubt it's unique to those societies.

Re: The Never Married, a New Normal

#19

Post by paulryanrogers »

0xB31B1B wrote: post #13
jitl wrote: post #10

My partner and I have been together for 7 years, we bought a house together, haven’t found a compelling reason to get married. Marriage is a complex and binding contract that for two high earners is a tax disadvantage. The most prominent benefits I’ve learned are some situations around visitation rights, and avoiding being compelled to testify against your spouse. It comes from a very dubious history of the husband e…

Married people report significantly higher levels of happiness/life satisfaction in the middle and later stages of life than non married people. This is a durable finding across many studies.

Compared to people in cohabitating couples? Are singles included?

It could also be that people who are generally happier tend to be those to get/stay married.

I also wonder if there is some sunk cost psychology involved when surveying those later in life.

Re: The Never Married, a New Normal

#20

Post by itake »

jitl wrote: post #10

My partner and I have been together for 7 years, we bought a house together, haven’t found a compelling reason to get married. Marriage is a complex and binding contract that for two high earners is a tax disadvantage. The most prominent benefits I’ve learned are some situations around visitation rights, and avoiding being compelled to testify against your spouse. It comes from a very dubious history of the husband e…

Bought a house together and are high earners? I thought marriage was the best way to buy a house with someone, because of all the default legal considerations.

For example, if you die, in marriage the house easily passes to your partner. Otherwise, it may go to next-of-kin.

Also divorce offers a structured way to manage ownership after a break-up.

I am not particularly fond of our marriage system, but LGBTQ fought for marriage rights for a reason.

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