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I’ve been single all my life
11–20 of 443 posts
Re: I’ve been single all my life
#12There is something fundamentally wrong with this world, obviously. I'm standing the same stance for lat 8 years.
Re: I’ve been single all my life
#13Archive link for those who are having issues getting the article to load: https://web.archive.org/web/20230410132952/https://lukasrose... --- [edit for commentary] I was like the author, except I have had a burning desire to have family and children since I was a boy. I started thinking about fatherhood when I was maybe 12. After a failed long term relationship, and three or four girlfriends I finally settled with th…
The origin webserver might also be single... threaded.
haha
Re: I’ve been single all my life
#14Bella DePaulo is probably the leading scholar on the social prejudice and discrimination on single individuals. The fact that the author of the article introduces the term "incel" to deal with this extremely negative stereotype in the second paragraph highlights this prejudice. If you're interested in learning more about the ways single individuals are treated unfairly in society, Dr. DePaulo has many articles and books published on the topic.
Re: I’ve been single all my life
#15As an unhappy single with two past relationships, lots of experience in many crazy things including most drugs, let me tell you that times where you truly love someone while knowing they truly love you back, in other words true mutual love, are probably the most beautiful times in the world one can experience: Holding someone in your arms wishing you‘d die right then and there because you know you have peaked in non-drug-induced happiness.
And nothing is worse than the fear of never experiencing it ever again.
It took 6 years of active searching to find my first love and 3 for the second. Those despair inducing time frames and the acquired knowledge about how hard it really is to nurture and maintain relationships beyond the love, as a hypersensitive loner on the spectrum with mental illness makes me despair.
Re: I’ve been single all my life
#16Re: I’ve been single all my life
#17Re: I’ve been single all my life
#18You're not alone (pun intended). Record numbers of Americans, men and women alike, are single.
> Nearly 118 million Americans, or about 46% of those over 18 years old, are single, according to the U.S. Census Bureau. But that percent is actually much higher for women—a record-breaking 52% of them are unmarried or separated as of 2021, according to a recent report from Wells Fargo Economics.
https://fortune.com/2023/03/18/record-number-american-women-...
Re: I’ve been single all my life
#19I guess I've been a "volcel" for almost 4 years now after an almost 20 year relationship.
I have pretty mixed feelings about it. On the one hand, I get lonely, intensely lonely at times. And I miss the companionship I had (before it got awful.)
On the other hand, I have so much time now to just focus on myself and my kids and my career and hobbies and my mental well being. I've increased my income a lot in the last year and re-sparked hobbies from my youth.
But frankly, I am miserable. I don't know if meeting someone else would solve it, or whether it would just be me escaping (again) from my own demons.
Being alone is one of the toughest things I've experienced. You're forced to be with yourself, all the time! There is no escape, where you can go hug or chat with your significant other. If you don't like yourself, or you have some underlying issues, you have to face it head on - and it's brutal.
I'm trying to be comfortable, even happy, on my own. But it's a slow, grueling process of self awareness and conscious self care.
Dating seems dire these days as well. Tech is a terrible industry for meeting someone. And online dating, which I've tried a few times, I found incredibly tiring and frustrating.
I feel like there is a rise of apathy towards dating and relationships in general. I know many people who are single and sick of it all. It's all kind of depressing and I don't have an answer.
Re: I’ve been single all my life
#20I'm in my late 20s and honestly its just sort of hard to care about this anymore.
I fully acknowledge I'm not attractive and generally weird people out. I'm over it.
That said, since I'm very interested in keeping my health in good shape I'm not interested in anyone who isn't at the very least in half decent shape or doesn't have some kind of baseline college education.
Fortunately, I've still been able to date about ten people in my twenties and I've learned from each relationship but nothing has necessarily been "long term". Fortunately, in these cases I didn't really compromise standards and enjoyed my time dating.
To be frank, I have no idea how people who constantly have girlfriends do it? My best guess is they have way more energy to socialize or are just way more attractive than I am.