Sometimes when you want to say something to be understood, it seems daunting and isolating as those things don't feel heard.
I read this and heard this. The thing I can say is that looking at startup culture now, after twenty years of being here, it's just getting weirder and weirder.
It takes time sometimes to look at something and see it for it was rather what it could have been.
I, too, took $200,000 four years ago. I turned that into employing 40 people, two retail locations, and 100 hr work weeks, and it all disappeared with the pandemic shutdowns. I, too, did odd jobs, have failing mental health, struggled, dealt with others didn't understand, insisted, persisted, etc. If there was just one more thing to be done. Other days, I couldn't do a single thing.
I've also gone through experiences of trying to raise money to get the agency I worked with the funds to kick off a project and watching that fail in multiple hilarious ways.
If this experience was what it takes to handle your health do it. Your oxygen mask on first, always, before others. If you're looking for something to excuse your behavior, find it, accept it, and forgive yourself. Write out what you learned, and and keep trying.