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Everything You Can’t Have

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Re: Everything You Can’t Have

#11

Post by Waterluvian »

amelius wrote: post #6
antisceptic wrote: post #4

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'd imagine a healthier version of something like: "Simpletons, relying on consumerism for their dopamine rush, they're no different from ants! Meanwhile I am a /creator/ of things!"

You can't hide in that idea because back in the real world, your friends receive all the love and admiration for owning great things (something like status), while you get a tap on the shoulder.

Not “the real world” but rather your perception of the world. “The real world” implies that it’s the same thing you describe for everyone. It is definitely bot.

Re: Everything You Can’t Have

#12

Post by jpttsn »

A bunch of other rich people don’t know how to enjoy their stuff but you don’t have to fall in that trap.

There is a “mindfulness” angle. Instead of taking it always for granted, pay attention and make time enjoy your stuff.

Thoigh if you keep realizing the things you have worked hard for don’t end up making you happy, that might be hopeless.

Re: Everything You Can’t Have

#13

Post by tmshu1 »

toto444 wrote: post #2

I have found that instead of wanting things I don't own, wanting to see created things I haven't created yet very liberating. Since it makes my goals very personal, I can't compare myself on an objective metric with other people and as a result feel less frustrated about not earning more.

Same. For me, the creational mindset led to a sense of freedom and excitement that the problem-solving mindset can never get close to.

Problem-solving mindset: what problem do I need to solve? “Problems” will always arise life (due to other people, random events, our brain always wanting novelty, etc.), so this mindset is a reactive one that leads to anxiety and lack of direction.

Creational mindset: what would I love to create? This mindset can seem harder to get at because of all the conditioning we’ve gotten from society and childhood. But all it takes is a simple perspective shift. It leads to more proactivity, and trust that you’ll be able to do whatever you need to do. All the secondary, tertiary, etc. questions about how get answered relatively easily when you’re clear about what you want to create.

Re: Everything You Can’t Have

#14

Post by skeeter2020 »

rippercushions wrote: post #10

Spend money on experiences, not things: shows, concerts, meals, travel. Rarely if ever have I regretted spending money on one, and nobody can take them away from you later.

I mostly agree, but sometimes the THING (and the act of acquisition) is the experience. Example: I really like coffee table books. Reading them is enjoyable but finding them, seeing them and just owning them also makes me happy.

I also think you should go farther than just the experience component and pair it with physical objects that keep the memories alive, vibrant and reliveable.

Re: Everything You Can’t Have

#15

Post by ericmcer »

amelius wrote: post #3
toto444 wrote: post #2

I have found that instead of wanting things I don't own, wanting to see created things I haven't created yet very liberating. Since it makes my goals very personal, I can't compare myself on an objective metric with other people and as a result feel less frustrated about not earning more.

How do you trick your brain into this? How do you ignore friends who buy a new car every year?

I don’t ignore them I usually view them as someone whose priorities don’t align with mine.

Money is freedom and trading that freedom to get a shiny toy doesn’t make sense to me. I would much rather know I can work on what I want or not work at all than drive to my job in a nicer car.

Re: Everything You Can’t Have

#16

Post by boomboomsubban »

rippercushions wrote: post #10

Spend money on experiences, not things: shows, concerts, meals, travel. Rarely if ever have I regretted spending money on one, and nobody can take them away from you later.

Maybe I just have a shitty memory, but time has effectively taken those away without anyone's help.

Re: Everything You Can’t Have

#17

Post by BizarreByte »

rippercushions wrote: post #10

Spend money on experiences, not things: shows, concerts, meals, travel. Rarely if ever have I regretted spending money on one, and nobody can take them away from you later.

My memory sure can, stuff a decade ago might of well have not happened for all I can remember. I remember the basic stuff, but none of the details.

Anyway I’ll add to this that you don’t have to like all experiences. I have tried to force myself to like travelling, but I’ve come to accept I just despise every aspect of it. Other people find it weird, but whatever.

Re: Everything You Can’t Have

#18

Post by jpttsn »

rippercushions wrote: post #10

Spend money on experiences, not things: shows, concerts, meals, travel. Rarely if ever have I regretted spending money on one, and nobody can take them away from you later.

This approach never worked well for me. Food and travel is so forgettable; it perishes much faster than nice clothes or shiny toys.

It also seems like people chase the dragon; keep going to restaurants and resorts. If experiences are so unforgettable, why would you repeat them each year?

And for most people it (for the outside) looks fraught with stupid dysfunction; the White Lotus kinds of things where everyone is just struggling to make it worth what they believe it is, and strain their relationships and lives in the process.

Re: Everything You Can’t Have

#19

Post by keymon-o »

jpttsn wrote: post #12

A bunch of other rich people don’t know how to enjoy their stuff but you don’t have to fall in that trap. There is a “mindfulness” angle. Instead of taking it always for granted, pay attention and make time enjoy your stuff. Thoigh if you keep realizing the things you have worked hard for don’t end up making you happy, that might be hopeless.

> There is a “mindfulness” angle. Instead of taking it always for granted, pay attention and make time enjoy your stuff.

Being satisfied with what you have is what “poor” people (people who can’t have everything) do in order to be happy. What’s the benefit of being rich then?

Re: Everything You Can’t Have

#20

Post by BizarreByte »

amelius wrote: post #3
toto444 wrote: post #2

I have found that instead of wanting things I don't own, wanting to see created things I haven't created yet very liberating. Since it makes my goals very personal, I can't compare myself on an objective metric with other people and as a result feel less frustrated about not earning more.

How do you trick your brain into this? How do you ignore friends who buy a new car every year?

Some of us don’t have to trick ourselves. I own a modest house and modest car, they fit into my budget and put me so far ahead of my peers financially people don’t believe me when I say how good things are.

A car especially is just a tool, I care as much about someone’s car as I do the hammer in their toolbox, but I am not a car person.

It comes down to what you value. Stability, time, and financial freedom matter more to me than any fancy thing I could buy.

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