How I Overcame Bipolar II (and Saved My Own Life)

- eating well - todo lists - self discipline - sports - stopping drugs / coffee / alcohol

I'm kind of "scared" of these things now, but also realize that they are, while not the complete solution, necessary ingredients to living a "normal" life. It took me 28 years to realize that you could have a regular sleep schedule and daily routine for example. It's these kind of "symptoms" that I find very hard to share with "normal" people, who just can't see how that is that big of a problem.

The funny thing is that all of this further fueled my mania, but on the other hand, it also made me check in with a psychiatrist. I'm now on lamotrigine, which makes living seem so easy now.

Yet I can skip a day of pills, and drink maybe a bit too much coffee and sleep badly, and it's all there again. Only now I have a baseline I can come back to. I don't think the article sounds too manic. I'm a bit wary of the new agey "that's what all people should do with our method" thing, while it really is a "common sense" that is shared by pretty much all cultures on the planet (eat healthy, sleep, exercise, don't worry too much), but it's cool.

while I didn't have much one-on-one therapy, I went to a "psychoeducation" group about bipolar with about 10 other afflicted individuals, and basically, the most important thing really is to have these checklists: eat healthy, sleep healthy, don't drink alcohol, don't drink coffee, try to sleep more than 4 hours a night, try to sleep less than 12 hours a night, and write yourself reminders so you won't forget them.

"Mr. Ellsberg’s writing is not strong enough to overcome the simple fact that he is not a very likable person. Sorry, but there it is."

It's true of this article, too. I don't want to play armchair psychologist, but this individual has an enormous ego and shows shockingly little empathy. I think there is more wrong than he is letting on.

So kudos to Michael for sharing.

Michael's piece reads like many others I've read on reddit's bipolarreddit subreddit. A 20 something self-diagnoses themselves with bipolar II and lets the world in on their ability to self-control the disorder without medicine (in many posters' cases, without a medical support team).

In most cases I'm glad for them, and the provided advice is usually what any book on bipolar will tell you to change about your lifestyle. Sleep 8 hours, cut out stimulants, cut out inebriates, exercise and meditate.

My concern is that the subtler message of "just overcome your brain disorders with pure will power" might mislead readers to dismiss medication as one-size-fits-all tranquilizers/stimulants and provide their fragile egos one more reason not to seek help from a health care professional.

When I encounter clearly manic or psychotic individuals online I reach out, gently. I've made friends on TF2, Reddit and via YouTube. I've watched helplessly as many who categorically eschewed all medical assistance eventually slipped into psychotic states, evidenced by incoherent, often angry messages about their delusions in my inbox. It's not always fun reaching out but in a number of cases you can get the message across early enough and they successfully get help.

I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder a couple of years ago and worked with a doctor to find a combination of low-dose medications that has squashed any sort of noticeable irrational moods without any noticeable side effects. It took nearly a year of experimentation to find the right combination. It's frustrating, especially on the downswings, but worth it in hindsight.

Thanks Michael for the interesting piece and if Michael's story resonates with you, consider investing in a visit to an experienced provider. Be patient.

And if you have experiences with bipolar disorder I urge you to suppress your ego and share them. Only with widespread sharing can the stigma be quashed, and people will be more comfortable seeking treatment early.

I ended up largely eliminating refined sugar from my diet. I still eat some, very hard to avoid entirely, but I try to eat mainly scratch cooked food, wholewheat bread, lots of bulky starches and proteins.

keeping regular routines, eating healthy, and avoiding drugs have all be great for me. i tried these many times in the past, and kept failing to stick with them. it wasn't until i underwent intensive psychotherapy five times a week before i was able to start helping myself better. because i feel my emotions so strongly, for the longest time i was terrified of any form of introspection; all i knew was that if i thought too much about how i was feeling, i was likely to end up in tears.

after a bunch of failed relationships, several suicide attempts, and months of a worsening drug addiction, i finally found a therapist who was able to work with me.

i'm no longer so afraid of being a terrible person that i let people walk over me. i'm no longer so resistant to think about other people's feelings because i've learned how to do that without getting swept away by them. i can even look people in the eyes without feeling like i'm intruding on their privacy.

most importantly, though, i've learned how to understand my own feelings, by talking to them and asking how i can help them, rather than trying to suppress them or running from them in terror, when they do things like convince me that i'm starting the singularity and have become a telepathic warrior monk. even though that can be pretty fun, it usually doesn't end well.