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How to get the most out of your 1:1s

erik.wiffin.com

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Re: How to get the most out of your 1:1s

#11

Post by ajb »

kqr wrote: post #3
peakaboo wrote: post #2

I have 1 on 1s too and we talk about anything at all, including status updates if the employee wants too. Because it all builds a connection. It's like a coffee chat. I think it works the best when it's completely open to anything at all.

I agree with you that if the worker wants to turn it into a status update, they should be allowed to. However... why do they feel like turning it into a status update? Is it because the manager isn't sufficiently looped in to what's happening on a daily basis?

A significant fraction of engineers, often the ones who are most deep into their work, have a tendency to just do a brain dump of what they're working on, just because that's what they've currently assembled in their heads. It isn't necessarily useful in a 1:1 but it seems almost involuntary, so I'm not sure it's good to stop them before they've gone through it. May just have to allocate more time to allow them to get through it to any other issues they might have.

Re: How to get the most out of your 1:1s

#12

Post by bread_butter »

I also think the managers should come with conversation starters to these meetings. Be curious about what your reports do and proactively ask them about something specific they did last month and anything they can do to improve. Coming with a blank slate because you think you are doing someone a favor by giving them your time will always lead to status updates or awkward silences.

Re: How to get the most out of your 1:1s

#13

Post by hunglee2 »

one good way to 'get the conversation going', as well as provide invaluable feedback, is to reverse roles and start the session with the employee review of your own performance as their manager. You can even say 'hey, this 1:1 is for me rather than you!'. It's fun and serious at the same time, and if you do it without ego you can learn a lot about how you are impacting your employees work, what you need to do to make a more conducive environment for them to thrive.

Re: How to get the most out of your 1:1s

#14

Post by gorgoiler »

Completely unimportant, but anyone else call them one to ones?

Where did this one on one thing come from? A one on one is a boxing match or a schoolyard fight, not an open chat.

8:2:1 is a ratio of cocktail ingredients. 16:9 is an aspect ratio. 1:7 is a steep hill to climb. To, by, and in respectively. The latter two would be weird choices but at least they’d be consistent with the syntax of x:y. “on” though?! Where did that come from?

Don’t say “Japanese poetry” :)

Re: How to get the most out of your 1:1s

#15

Post by hef19898 »

tinkertamper wrote: post #9

I used to have a boss who’d ask me to rate my company satisfaction with the company 1-10 at every 1:1. This always struck me as one of the laziest/misguided management moves I’ve encountered, and I’m sure he felt it was both accurate and clever. If you manage people, and don’t understand that basic power dynamics will always trump encouragements for “openness”, you are naive at best and willfully blind at worst.

One of things I always looked out for as manager (which I am not currently) was a change in feed-back I got. If it turned from open, direct and honest to tounge-in-cheek, carefully worded and limited, punctuated with various versions of "nothing to report" I took it as a sign something was wrong.

Obviously, this effect is much easier when you are not in a management position. Because of that I was usually borderline paranoid about these changes in 1:1s with my directs.

In small teams I found the way to have informal, spontaneous 1:1s very effective. The basis, so, always was regularly scheduled ones unless you just forget to have them.

EDIT: For sure every 1:1 is different, and every 1:1 with different people need to be run differently. Some people like to discuss private stuff, others want in-depth tech discussions. Sometimes 1:1s are over in 5 minutes, sometimes they take an hour. Be flexible, and never use anything said in a 1:1 "against" the other person.

Re: How to get the most out of your 1:1s

#16

Post by hef19898 »

jcims wrote: post #8
kqr wrote: post #3

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I agree with you that if the worker wants to turn it into a status update, they should be allowed to. However... why do they feel like turning it into a status update? Is it because the manager isn't sufficiently looped in to what's happening on a daily basis?

I have 30 minute 1:1’s every week with my team (8 engineers). I’m in weekly backlog grooming sessions, semi-weekly demos, retros and sprint planning and of course daily standups. I’m in weekly status calls with two separate customers and weekly prioritization calls with product. I’m in constant dozer mode trying to clear a path for my team to eliminate blockers, execute bullshit corp process and help them resolve iss…

In 1:1s with my managers I was always happy to get the undivided attention of my manager to discuss status updates.

Re: How to get the most out of your 1:1s

#17

Post by ReaLNero »

hunglee2 wrote: post #13

one good way to 'get the conversation going', as well as provide invaluable feedback, is to reverse roles and start the session with the employee review of your own performance as their manager. You can even say 'hey, this 1:1 is for me rather than you!'. It's fun and serious at the same time, and if you do it without ego you can learn a lot about how you are impacting your employees work, what you need to do to make…

Don't quite understand this. Bolstering yourself would seem awakward for the other person, while criticizing yourself would just be a bad look in front of the person who decides promotions.

Re: How to get the most out of your 1:1s

#18

Post by saila »

jcims wrote: post #8
kqr wrote: post #3

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I agree with you that if the worker wants to turn it into a status update, they should be allowed to. However... why do they feel like turning it into a status update? Is it because the manager isn't sufficiently looped in to what's happening on a daily basis?

I have 30 minute 1:1’s every week with my team (8 engineers). I’m in weekly backlog grooming sessions, semi-weekly demos, retros and sprint planning and of course daily standups. I’m in weekly status calls with two separate customers and weekly prioritization calls with product. I’m in constant dozer mode trying to clear a path for my team to eliminate blockers, execute bullshit corp process and help them resolve iss…

Have you tried building trust? The tone of your comment here makes me think you haven’t. If you build trust with people, they’ll just tell you things. If you just say they can tell you things, no rational employee will believe that. And pushing people to talk about their weekend or other aspects of their personal life is downright toxic IMO. Again, if you build trust and rapport, you won’t have to ask these rote, off-the-shelf questions that can put people into a wary state of mind.

Re: How to get the most out of your 1:1s

#20

Post by [deleted] »

kqr wrote: post #3
peakaboo wrote: post #2

I have 1 on 1s too and we talk about anything at all, including status updates if the employee wants too. Because it all builds a connection. It's like a coffee chat. I think it works the best when it's completely open to anything at all.

I agree with you that if the worker wants to turn it into a status update, they should be allowed to. However... why do they feel like turning it into a status update? Is it because the manager isn't sufficiently looped in to what's happening on a daily basis?

[deleted]
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