Why babies cry in the first three months, how to tell them apart, and what to do • Hacker News Board

Re: Why babies cry in the first three months, how to tell them apart, and what to do

#11

Post by donw » Sun, Feb 20, 2022, 1:38 AM UTC

asdfasgasdgasdg wrote: post #4

cocothem wrote: post #3

not sure how it works with twins quantity wise, but I see "bottle" being mentioned for the 3 mo babies - afaik best to get mother's milk as much as possible in the first 6 months

Negative. There is very little good scientific evidence that it is important to breastfeed. But even if we stipulate that mothers must breastfeed, many working women pump milk during the day if they don't have unlimited paid time off after birth. In such cases bottles must obviously be used. And many women cannot produce enough breastmilk, and must supplement with formula. And many other possible reasons why bottles…

> There is very little good scientific evidence that it is important to breastfeed.

American scientists in the 1950s pushed all manner of highly-processed food products on the public because they had "figured out" nutrition.

Except for micronutrients, probiotics, most of what we understand now about biological pathways, etc.

Barring overwhelming evidence from replicated experiments -- "peer review" is and has always been garbage -- I bias hard to "what we have evolved to do by instinct is probably the best course of action".

That'd be breastfeeding. It's counterproductive to shame mothers that use formula for any number of legitimate reasons, but "prefer breastfeeding if at all possible" is an entirely reasonable statement.

It would also help if infant formula in the US wasn't absolute garbage by law, compared to what's commonplace in Germany and Japan.

Re: Why babies cry in the first three months, how to tell them apart, and what to do

#12

Post by duxup » Sun, Feb 20, 2022, 1:39 AM UTC

asdfasgasdgasdg wrote: post #2

Great if it works for you, but for those who are dealing with babies, I wouldn't beat myself up if this advice doesn't apply. The parenting advice world is chock full of people who found something that worked for them and who then made the unwarranted conclusion that it is universal truth. For example, their techniques that "always work" definitely do not always work. Maybe they always worked for their particular bab…

Yeah babies are different.

My kids didn’t scream or cry much at all.

Friends whose kids screamed all the time were astonished and tried everything to figure it out.

But we had opposite experiences with kids sleeping through a the night, I’m tired just thinking of it.

Re: Why babies cry in the first three months, how to tell them apart, and what to do

#13

Post by meepmorp » Sun, Feb 20, 2022, 1:42 AM UTC

cocothem wrote: post #8

asdfasgasdgasdg wrote: post #4

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Negative. There is very little good scientific evidence that it is important to breastfeed. But even if we stipulate that mothers must breastfeed, many working women pump milk during the day if they don't have unlimited paid time off after birth. In such cases bottles must obviously be used. And many women cannot produce enough breastmilk, and must supplement with formula. And many other possible reasons why bottles…

Interesting response. Let me just say that in general I would prefer the people around me to mention an alternative way of doing things (related to raising babies or anything really) along with some reasons if available. Not preach, just mention. So that they make sure I am aware of it. Maybe there is that one case where I find out about something I wasn't aware of. And then I wish we could all say "yes I know" or "I…

Have you, or you and a partner, had a child and dealt with people's opinions about breastfeeding?

I don't mean this in a hostile way, I just want to know if you're talking from experience or not.

Re: Why babies cry in the first three months, how to tell them apart, and what to do

#14

Post by furyofantares » Sun, Feb 20, 2022, 1:44 AM UTC

asdfasgasdgasdg wrote: post #2

Great if it works for you, but for those who are dealing with babies, I wouldn't beat myself up if this advice doesn't apply. The parenting advice world is chock full of people who found something that worked for them and who then made the unwarranted conclusion that it is universal truth. For example, their techniques that "always work" definitely do not always work. Maybe they always worked for their particular bab…

Here's one that always worked for me from about 6mo to 18mo: If she was crying and I played Hamilton on my phone, she'd immediately stop crying. Then I'd figure out that had been wrong and solve the actual problem for her.

This was a 100% thing, it felt like magic, but of course I'm not gonna dole it out as even remotely likely to work with another baby.

Re: Why babies cry in the first three months, how to tell them apart, and what to do

#15

Post by notshift » Sun, Feb 20, 2022, 1:45 AM UTC

asdfasgasdgasdg wrote: post #4

cocothem wrote: post #3

not sure how it works with twins quantity wise, but I see "bottle" being mentioned for the 3 mo babies - afaik best to get mother's milk as much as possible in the first 6 months

Negative. There is very little good scientific evidence that it is important to breastfeed. But even if we stipulate that mothers must breastfeed, many working women pump milk during the day if they don't have unlimited paid time off after birth. In such cases bottles must obviously be used. And many women cannot produce enough breastmilk, and must supplement with formula. And many other possible reasons why bottles…

Do you have a source for the claim that breastfeeding is no better than formula? I don't have a study to the contrary off hand, but everything I've read/studied has agreed conclusively that breastfeeding is the preferred option and has tangible developmental effects. Multiple books and a couple of college courses on early human development.

The conclusion that formula is for sure just as good as breast milk would also be shocking given that breast milk was designed by evolution over millions of years to be exactly what the developing baby needs. The human body does a lot of miraculous things that our technology isn't yet quite capable of matching (or even fully understanding).

Re: Why babies cry in the first three months, how to tell them apart, and what to do

#16

Post by cocothem » Sun, Feb 20, 2022, 1:45 AM UTC

meepmorp wrote: post #13

cocothem wrote: post #8

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Interesting response. Let me just say that in general I would prefer the people around me to mention an alternative way of doing things (related to raising babies or anything really) along with some reasons if available. Not preach, just mention. So that they make sure I am aware of it. Maybe there is that one case where I find out about something I wasn't aware of. And then I wish we could all say "yes I know" or "I…

Have you, or you and a partner, had a child and dealt with people's opinions about breastfeeding? I don't mean this in a hostile way, I just want to know if you're talking from experience or not.

we had a child, was breastfeed for a long time but also had to supplement with formula very early on. yes we dealt with other people's as well of each of us' differing opinions on every matter under the sun related to how to raise a baby. I still want to know all the information available, so that I can make informed decisions.

Re: Why babies cry in the first three months, how to tell them apart, and what to do

#17

Post by farmerstan » Sun, Feb 20, 2022, 1:45 AM UTC

To soothe the baby the author forgot:

1) pacifier. Holy hell those things are life savers. As my kid got older he would sometimes lose the pacifier in his sleep and start crying. We just bought 10 of them and sprinkled them theoughout his crib at night

2) driving. Driving your kid around will often soothe them. I had a particular route I would take down the highway that would guarantee put him to sleep.

Re: Why babies cry in the first three months, how to tell them apart, and what to do

#18

Post by Ovah » Sun, Feb 20, 2022, 1:45 AM UTC

asdfasgasdgasdg wrote: post #4

cocothem wrote: post #3

not sure how it works with twins quantity wise, but I see "bottle" being mentioned for the 3 mo babies - afaik best to get mother's milk as much as possible in the first 6 months

Negative. There is very little good scientific evidence that it is important to breastfeed. But even if we stipulate that mothers must breastfeed, many working women pump milk during the day if they don't have unlimited paid time off after birth. In such cases bottles must obviously be used. And many women cannot produce enough breastmilk, and must supplement with formula. And many other possible reasons why bottles…

> There is very little good scientific evidence that it is important to breastfeed.

I wish you would back up such a strong statement. In medical school we were taught the complete opposite. From my notes:

- there's a x36 decreased risk of Sudden infant death syndrome if the child has been breast fed a single(!) time compared to no breast feeding.

- no breast feeding vs only breast feeding: x15 risk of pneumonia, x11 risk of diarrhea

- x14 lower risk of premature death compared to no breast feeding

Other pros include: optimal composition of nutrients, doesn't constipate, creates a connection between the mother and child.

While formula may be nutritionally complete, it does not include immune component. Breast milk literally contains antibodies that a new born is able to pick up and use.

Re: Why babies cry in the first three months, how to tell them apart, and what to do

#19

Post by b112 » Sun, Feb 20, 2022, 1:46 AM UTC

jimbob45 wrote: post #9

asdfasgasdgasdg wrote: post #4

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Negative. There is very little good scientific evidence that it is important to breastfeed. But even if we stipulate that mothers must breastfeed, many working women pump milk during the day if they don't have unlimited paid time off after birth. In such cases bottles must obviously be used. And many women cannot produce enough breastmilk, and must supplement with formula. And many other possible reasons why bottles…

It seems to be the case that some breastfeeding is beneficial. However, I’ve been unable to figure out where the line is drawn after much internet research. Some places say six weeks gets you most of the benefits, others say twelve years minimum. You’re right though that the studies are less conclusive than some would like you to believe.

/years/weeks/ right?

Re: Why babies cry in the first three months, how to tell them apart, and what to do

#20

Post by farmerstan » Sun, Feb 20, 2022, 1:48 AM UTC

asdfasgasdgasdg wrote: post #2

Great if it works for you, but for those who are dealing with babies, I wouldn't beat myself up if this advice doesn't apply. The parenting advice world is chock full of people who found something that worked for them and who then made the unwarranted conclusion that it is universal truth. For example, their techniques that "always work" definitely do not always work. Maybe they always worked for their particular bab…

Babies only have a single mechanism of communication and it takes a while to debug it.

Imagine you had a computer that would crash every time something went wrong. You would develop a checklist for that computer to help with debugging it. That’s the exact same thing with kids.