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Ask HN: Please Give Me Advice

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Re: Ask HN: Please Give Me Advice

#11

Post by lettergram »

A few people I've spoken with who "broke out" of this mentality credit Jordan Peterson's 12 rules for life

https://www.amazon.com/12-Rules-Life-Antidote-Chaos/dp/03458...

Here's a quick video (12 min video):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ApC0faRYabI

I suspect his lectures, books, etc are likely more in depth. I personally haven't read it much, but am aware of the rules.

At the end of the day, you have to just get moving. One thing I've found helpful is selecting objectives, often physical ones. Go to the gym every day, take a 1-hour walk. Brush your teeth, shower, eat breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Make a list and hold yourself to account, get a star chart and show progress. From there you can build.

Life needs objectives, you have to decide who and what you want to be, but start at some basics -- "I want to bench 180lbs" or "I want to complete my list for a full week".

It may sound strange, but when people are in that state, the hardest thing in the world is getting started. If you miss a day, fine. Don't make an excuse you have to keep going. Eventually, you form habits and the more you form, the more robust and resilient you are. If you miss a couple activities for a day or two it wont be the end of the world. Just keep your life moving and pick them back up.

After you can do that and you accomplish a few objectives, I think you can / should start thinking of longer goals, 2 -3 years out and just keep building. At the end of the day, this isn't a journey for anyone but yourself.

Re: Ask HN: Please Give Me Advice

#12

Post by obviouslyfake »

lettergram wrote: post #11

A few people I've spoken with who "broke out" of this mentality credit Jordan Peterson's 12 rules for life https://www.amazon.com/12-Rules-Life-Antidote-Chaos/dp/03458... Here's a quick video (12 min video): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ApC0faRYabI I suspect his lectures, books, etc are likely more in depth. I personally haven't read it much, but am aware of the rules. At the end of the day, you have to just get m…

I've read that book and have recommended it myself

Yet i feel too anxious to go out of my comfort zone

Re: Ask HN: Please Give Me Advice

#13

Post by ekianjo »

slater wrote: post #2

Few people have anything resembling a plan. Just don't ask randos on the internet. You'll hear this often, because there's truth to it: Seek therapy. It's not a sign of weakness. And if the therapist doesn't "click" with you, see a different one.

> Seek therapy

Therapy is not going to magically inject meaning in your life. Let's stop with the fake solutions.

Re: Ask HN: Please Give Me Advice

#17

Post by aradox66 »

Your perception of yourself and your life is being distorted by depression. The intellect tries to make this about "meaning," or who you are, but it's not really about that.

You're not a parasite, and the people who care about you don't think you're a loser. You're okay, and it sucks that you're going through this, but nothing is wrong with you. You're just having a rough spot, which is normal and common, especially in these times. If anyone says otherwise (including or especially yourself) they're wrong.

I agree that therapy is a good idea here. If you've had trouble finding a local therapist, use the betterhelp or talkspace app - it's very easy to get connected to a therapist there.

Wishing you the best in moving forward with all this.

Re: Ask HN: Please Give Me Advice

#18

Post by slater »

obviouslyfake wrote: post #5
slater wrote: post #2

Few people have anything resembling a plan. Just don't ask randos on the internet. You'll hear this often, because there's truth to it: Seek therapy. It's not a sign of weakness. And if the therapist doesn't "click" with you, see a different one.

I have called everyone in my area, many times, nobody could give me an appointment Already on drugs, but taking them makes me feel more shit, because then i have a thought that i'm a broken person and can't live a normal live without depending on meds

OK number one thing to understand first and foremost: you are not a ‘broken person’ if you take medication. It’s a tired trope, but only because there’s some truth to it: a person with kidney, heart, or other organ issues isn’t a broken person because they take medication for their condition, right? Same applies to any of your conditions.

Re: Ask HN: Please Give Me Advice

#19

Post by obviouslyfake »

browningstreet wrote: post #15

Earnestly I offer this suggestion: Wake up earlier than you currently do, every day. Walk somewhere a little farther than usual, if even for a cup of coffee. Repeat daily. You’ll know when.

This is honestly a good idea and it sucks to admit that my sleep cycles are a complete chaos

Re: Ask HN: Please Give Me Advice

#20

Post by slater »

ekianjo wrote: post #13
slater wrote: post #2

Few people have anything resembling a plan. Just don't ask randos on the internet. You'll hear this often, because there's truth to it: Seek therapy. It's not a sign of weakness. And if the therapist doesn't "click" with you, see a different one.

> Seek therapy Therapy is not going to magically inject meaning in your life. Let's stop with the fake solutions.

I never said it would? But it’s also not a “fake solution”, and your labeling it as such makes me question your motives for making such a claim.
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