Ask HN :Why didn't you sign prenup? You regret it now?

> If you want a prenup you shouldn't get married.

That's as nonsensical as saying if you want to wear a seat belt you shouldn't get in a car. Some of us would like to drive a car and avoid unnecessary injury. They are not mutually exclusive.

There are already rules about what happens during divorce. If a partner does not a want a prenup it does not mean they don't want rules. They merely want the "default" rules of divorce. Likely because those rules favor them at great expense to their partner. Alimony, gaining assets they did not contribute to obtaining, etc.

The current laws around divorce are medieval in cruelty and are modern day indentured servitude. With suicide being the only escape. If your partner prefers these laws, they are either ignorant, or do not truly care for you.

In my case we were both broke when we got married anyway so nothing to prenup about.

Have a university degree + get married over the age of 25 + women have a job

Do these and its ~80% success rate

Roughly what’s your expected worth times the subjective probability you’ll get a divorce. Also should probably include a scale factor or term to account for the up front legal fees and the later fees.

Now if not having a prenup come out as a risk adjusted loss say… -150k, then ask yourself if you’re willing and it’s reasonable to give your partner a gift of that size right now.

The default rules seem reasonable enough that trying to do better for both parties without knowing specifics seems unreasonable. Comingling finances is a useful reduction of the total burden of financial management, and wouldn't be possible if you were trying to keep separate accounts.

In this instance, I was the breadwinner, and I would have no problem with an equal split of marital assets, plus or minus making adjustments to keep things easy: no sense giving each person half of three cars, can sell one and give one of the remaining to each spouse, the house might be challenging to split, but we're both reasonable and could figure something out that's more beneficial to both parties than a legal battle.