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Check out Toastmasters https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toastmasters_International
Seconding Toastmasters
It’s about training the right habits.
This is a tricky question to answer, because the answer is probably very personal and what works for me might not work for you, and vice versa. But I can share some thoughts based on my experiences: 1. Practice. It sounds trite to say, but it's true... like most things, you get better with repeated effort. Luckily it's relatively easy to find / create opportunities to speak in group settings. Well... at least it was…
Very good points. One question - any advise how to deal with people who "borrow" your presentation, in other words, they interrupt, and start explaining the concepts for you. It could be out of good will, an attempt to "help", but it can definitely ruin the flow for you. I tend to counter-interrupt and continue, but wondering if there's better solution.
"What about X?" "Oh, that's actually going to be discussed in a few minutes." "What about Y?" "That's a good question but beyond the scope of this presentation, we can talk about that at the end if you'd like." "What about Z?" "Well, with Z ..."
But the critical thing is you only give them a chance to ask a question, and make that the format. Don't open it up to random side thoughts because then they will take over, "Well, actually with Foobar 3.0..." You've lost control at that point. If it's going to turn into a conversation between you and the person and will derail the presentation, move it to the end of the presentation.
Check out Toastmasters https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toastmasters_International
Check out Toastmasters https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toastmasters_International
Would you mind sharing a couple of key insights that you learnt there?
Thanks ^_^
Reduce focus on the setting, increase focus on the ideas.
Think less of the people you're talking to, as you're almost guaranteed to be overvaluing their potential opinions and undervaluing your own. That imbalance - to the extent it exists out of proper alignment - can be a large reservoir of anxiety.
Based on what you're describing, you're almost immediately overvaluing the mere potential opinions of others, before they even exist (prior to their expression). I assume this means you have a strong need for approval, which isn't an easy thing to reduce. I would remind yourself that there are many ways to achieve approval, including by intellectually stomping your opponent in a debate of ideas. Again, that's where debate clubs are very useful to building up that perspective, you get to see that there are other ways to get a positive outcome rather than acquiescing to the opinions of others. People can like you for many reasons; being liked for being weak isn't a positive (and people that like you for being weak and deferring to them, are monsters to not be respected); being liked for intellectual fortitude is a positive; you can have either outcome, but only one of those is good.
Conveying ideas for influence requires practice TBH. Sometimes it hovers into the sales world. You are going to get a no. That's ok. That means your pitch needs work. Your scenario I say your pitch approach might need more thought. As shared below, ideas simply need more capital. Can you share examples that work. Can you address concerns. Can you express the idea using different language. Sometimes the best way to grow here is to get feedback right away. How was my last idea received? Do you know what was missing to make it more effective?
That's all I have for now. You will do great!
I also recommend writing down your ideas. When you lose your train of thought you can refer back to what is written down.
Ask for help - tell the group you've lost your train of thought and ask what was the last thing you said. People do not want to see you fail, they will help you.
Acknowledge it is okay if you don't sound confident. It's only important to communicate what you aimed to communicate. Focus on that rather than what you sound like.
If you organized the meeting or presentation, send an agenda or materials in advance. Look for feedback in advance. Send followups to your information sharing. Summaries and further info. All this can be done in chat/email.
I guarantee that if you do these few things you will feel better within a month.
In my experience, there's a series of beats that work in group settings, and the most effective speakers, in terms of making contributions and influencing the discussion, tend to interject with shorter contributions. There are times to craft expansive, descriptive stories, but often, a good contribution is a short, clear one.