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Why are fewer men in their 20s having sex?

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Re: Why are fewer men in their 20s having sex?

#11

Post by staticman2 »

jimmaswell wrote: post #3

I'm betting on dating sites and the internet in general. Our evolutionary biology is for the women to only get pregnant by the fittest available male in the "tribe" because it's such an investment in time and resources (also why men are inclined to go around with whoever they can, it's all benefit and no cost to "dine and dash"), and now the "tribe" we percieve is artifically extended with the fittest possible specim…

You have some odd ideas there.

You might want to read The Moral Animal by Robert Wright for a more nuanced view of human nature by an evolutionary psychologist. (A field which is controversial at the best of times- but if you're going to believe something controversial but possibly true you can do a lot better than what you posted here)

If I wasn't on my phone i'd type more, but in brief you have a weird idea of what fitness means for a woman looking for a mate. It doesn't necessarily mean "big muscles" but could mean something like a guy who loves her and will raise the kids with her. Because that's optimal for passing on genes.

Furthermore fitness for a male in search of a woman might mean a guy who is monogomous and caring (because faking those traits to manipulate a woman might be too difficult) because he can convince a woman to mate with him because he will help her with the kids.

Re: Why are fewer men in their 20s having sex?

#12

Post by code_duck »

do_not_cancel32 wrote: post #8

I am in my late 20s and a senior engineer at FAANG. I am conventionally attractive and have been asked out by numerous women over the years, even when I did not have my FAANG salary. However, I have had very few sexual partners. The article has four ideas on why men like me have fewer partners. That men lack the money for partners, that the top 10% of men outcompete the bottom 90% on social media apps, that at least…

If your primary or sole motivation to get married would have been to secure a sexual partner, it probably saved a lot of trouble to have filled that space with porn.

Re: Why are fewer men in their 20s having sex?

#13

Post by lotsofpulp »

ok_coo wrote: post #4
PebblesHD wrote: post #2

While I don’t specifically fall into this category, I’d like to broaden it to younger men starting families. The reason my partner and I haven’t moved toward doing so is primarily economic, we still can’t afford a house and rental laws here mean we could be kicked out at quite short notice. We don’t want to bring a child into an environment that we aren’t even able to keep stable for ourselves. Others we know are in…

To echo this statement, I wasn't financially stable until ~35. We still do not own a home/condo and I'm not sure it's going to happen at this point. My spouse and I may just move in with family to split costs and live cheap. To be fair, I also didn't have any social pressure from my family to have children and since my gf, now wife, doesn't want to have any children either, it just worked out this way. TBH, at least…

>TBH, at least in the U.S., I look at my relatives and how expensive day care, etc. is, I don't know how they balance their budget.

I imagine most people are not sufficiently saving for retirement, and/or don't have sufficient savings for emergency (medical/loss of income/disability/legal/etc) expenses either.

Re: Why are fewer men in their 20s having sex?

#14

Post by theodric »

do_not_cancel32 wrote: post #8

I am in my late 20s and a senior engineer at FAANG. I am conventionally attractive and have been asked out by numerous women over the years, even when I did not have my FAANG salary. However, I have had very few sexual partners. The article has four ideas on why men like me have fewer partners. That men lack the money for partners, that the top 10% of men outcompete the bottom 90% on social media apps, that at least…

I'm curious why a relationship with another person isn't something you'd want to prioritize. What fills your hours, and moreover, what fills your mental needs to such an extent that it can override biological imperatives?

Re: Why are fewer men in their 20s having sex?

#15

Post by souprock »

ok_coo wrote: post #4
PebblesHD wrote: post #2

While I don’t specifically fall into this category, I’d like to broaden it to younger men starting families. The reason my partner and I haven’t moved toward doing so is primarily economic, we still can’t afford a house and rental laws here mean we could be kicked out at quite short notice. We don’t want to bring a child into an environment that we aren’t even able to keep stable for ourselves. Others we know are in…

To echo this statement, I wasn't financially stable until ~35. We still do not own a home/condo and I'm not sure it's going to happen at this point. My spouse and I may just move in with family to split costs and live cheap. To be fair, I also didn't have any social pressure from my family to have children and since my gf, now wife, doesn't want to have any children either, it just worked out this way. TBH, at least…

They balance their budget by skipping the expensive day care. There just isn't any way for a normal person to get day care for a family. It isn't even legal for a day care to have the same adult-to-kid ratio as a family can have, so you'd be paying multiple adults to do the job of one parent. If they get normal pay, then the parent must earn much more than normal pay.

Re: Why are fewer men in their 20s having sex?

#16

Post by adflux »

do_not_cancel32 wrote: post #8

I am in my late 20s and a senior engineer at FAANG. I am conventionally attractive and have been asked out by numerous women over the years, even when I did not have my FAANG salary. However, I have had very few sexual partners. The article has four ideas on why men like me have fewer partners. That men lack the money for partners, that the top 10% of men outcompete the bottom 90% on social media apps, that at least…

It's definitely a combination of all the things you've mentioned. Also men don't meet women if all they do is play games. I am a gamer myself and see this happening all around me.

Re: Why are fewer men in their 20s having sex?

#17

Post by kruxigt »

jimmaswell wrote: post #3

I'm betting on dating sites and the internet in general. Our evolutionary biology is for the women to only get pregnant by the fittest available male in the "tribe" because it's such an investment in time and resources (also why men are inclined to go around with whoever they can, it's all benefit and no cost to "dine and dash"), and now the "tribe" we percieve is artifically extended with the fittest possible specim…

I think this is the main reason. In the past, the bottom 10% of males couldn't get any sex at all. Now it might be the bottom 30% and soon possibly 40% if we stay on current trajectory. There's a lot of talk about 80/20, that 20% of guys get 80% of the interest from girls. Something like that is probably true. This together with the feeling of limitless supply creates the current situation.

Re: Why are fewer men in their 20s having sex?

#18

Post by [deleted] »

theodric wrote: post #14
do_not_cancel32 wrote: post #8

I am in my late 20s and a senior engineer at FAANG. I am conventionally attractive and have been asked out by numerous women over the years, even when I did not have my FAANG salary. However, I have had very few sexual partners. The article has four ideas on why men like me have fewer partners. That men lack the money for partners, that the top 10% of men outcompete the bottom 90% on social media apps, that at least…

I'm curious why a relationship with another person isn't something you'd want to prioritize. What fills your hours, and moreover, what fills your mental needs to such an extent that it can override biological imperatives?

[deleted]

Re: Why are fewer men in their 20s having sex?

#19

Post by aidenn0 »

adflux wrote: post #6

Fewer men are having sex with about an equal amount of women. So there are a few men who statistically have the most sex and then the rest barely gets any. Tinder and the like very heavily favor attractive men. Then there's a whole bunch (like in my compsci major) who don't even talk to women on a daily basis... https://m.imgur.com/L9Vu4Zo graphs like this dont inspire hope either and serve to support my previous poi…

Don't forget the other big chart OKCupid posted which was how few men are willing to have date even slightly older women.

There are more women in their 20s having sex with men in their 30s, than men in their 20s having sex with women in their 30s. In most states it's not legal to have sex with women under 18, so (assuming serial monogamy) at any given time there just aren't enough women that are younger than a 20-something male who aren't in a relationship with someone older than that 20-something male.

Re: Why are fewer men in their 20s having sex?

#20

Post by supercanuck »

theodric wrote: post #14
do_not_cancel32 wrote: post #8

I am in my late 20s and a senior engineer at FAANG. I am conventionally attractive and have been asked out by numerous women over the years, even when I did not have my FAANG salary. However, I have had very few sexual partners. The article has four ideas on why men like me have fewer partners. That men lack the money for partners, that the top 10% of men outcompete the bottom 90% on social media apps, that at least…

I'm curious why a relationship with another person isn't something you'd want to prioritize. What fills your hours, and moreover, what fills your mental needs to such an extent that it can override biological imperatives?

Probably because it’s a lot of work.
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