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How to deal with difficult people on software projects

howtodeal.dev

11–20 of 130 posts

Re: How to deal with difficult people on software projects

#11
post #4

How do I go about using this without knowing which label I fall under? I would assume that to know how to work with X I need to know how my strengths and weaknesses as Y relate to them—otherwise this is just another way to see the world as 'me vs them'

I think they're more patterns we're all susceptible to

Re: How to deal with difficult people on software projects

#13
post #4

How do I go about using this without knowing which label I fall under? I would assume that to know how to work with X I need to know how my strengths and weaknesses as Y relate to them—otherwise this is just another way to see the world as 'me vs them'

There is a view that the ego, being non-existent, is constantly shifting and re-framing. Observe the roles/personas you shift to throughout the day, how and why?

I find the Actor theory applicable - in the end, everyone in an org has dominant interests, usually not many.

And the most dangerous are the systems players - because organized groups can take out and dominate any individual. One of the reasons why those playing the system vs the value creators take over in most large organizations.

Re: How to deal with difficult people on software projects

#14
post #12

I got stuck on the first one "Product Manager". Do the newer companies have this role? I mean, for the companies that are consumer facing and not enterprise oriented. IMO, this is a spillover role from the enterprise heavy 90s/2000s into today. Am I wrong?

Run a web search for "product manager jobs" or "$STARTUP product manager jobs" and try to find one that doesn't match.

Re: How to deal with difficult people on software projects

#15
post #4

How do I go about using this without knowing which label I fall under? I would assume that to know how to work with X I need to know how my strengths and weaknesses as Y relate to them—otherwise this is just another way to see the world as 'me vs them'

> otherwise this is just another way to see the world as 'me vs them'

I think you hit the nail on the head. Personally, I'm really nervous of anything which further deepens "me vs them" dichotomies. They're really unproductive. If you're acting as a leader in any capacity building a product, you have to figure out how to nip these things in the bud before they metastasize like cancers.

Re: How to deal with difficult people on software projects

#16
This is a horrible website and you will likely experience diminished tenure if you follow it's advice.

First, there is a complete lack of empathy for the person being labelled. What are the motivations and constraints that led to this person acting this way? A key question and the foundation for building healthy productive relationships.

Second, the 'solutions' are horrible. "Go around the person" is terrible advice for anyone on a team. If you follow the advice from this website you will end up being the problem.

I would argue that this website is almost sociopathic-- completely ignoring the perspectives of anyone but the reader and suggesting damaging solutions and labels.

Re: How to deal with difficult people on software projects

#18
post #12

I got stuck on the first one "Product Manager". Do the newer companies have this role? I mean, for the companies that are consumer facing and not enterprise oriented. IMO, this is a spillover role from the enterprise heavy 90s/2000s into today. Am I wrong?

I spent about a decade as a PM at startups, so I can definitely attest they do.

Obviously I'm biased here, but the PM role isn't just some spillover, it's work that needs to be done. Someone has to talk to stakeholders, gather and document requirements, work with customer-facing teams on launches/preparation/etc. and so forth. If the product manager isn't doing it, then engineers are doing it, which means they aren't doing engineering, which is of course not great.

The definition of a product manager (and project manager/program manager) changes from company to company, but the work of defining the thing to be built is always being done, otherwise you're not building anything. It may be done by committee, by engineers, by engineering managers, by the CEO or via some other method entirely, but it's always happening.

Re: How to deal with difficult people on software projects

#20

This is a horrible website and you will likely experience diminished tenure if you follow it's advice. First, there is a complete lack of empathy for the person being labelled. What are the motivations and constraints that led to this person acting this way? A key question and the foundation for building healthy productive relationships. Second, the 'solutions' are horrible. "Go around the person" is terrible advice…

Seriously - the "Patent Author" PM may well have come to be that ways because if he doesn't, the engineering team just makes assumptions (that are wrong) and build the wrong thing, instead of checking with the PM. When I've worked with dev teams in India (with me in CA), I have written extremely detailed and specific product specs, because I'm asleep while they're working, so if something is unclear it can waste a whole day of a dev's time.
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