I think these measurements include the page table entries in the kernel? It's my fuzzy understanding that page table entries are 64bit on amd64, so if you have 64GB of shared buffers (which is quite a lot) you'd have 128 mb overhead just to map that with 4kb pages. Which is to say the overhead is proportional to both the shared buffers size and the page size. It is not a constant factor. Saying it is about 2mb is mis…
I think threads are the right call, and that we should move to threads at some point. Partially due to the overhead you mention, but more importantly because there's a lot of features that are much harder with separate processes. We have a fair bit of redundant code due to it: one version working with plain pointers, one with pointers differing between processes, do deal with dynamically allocated shared memory for things like parallel query.