Being OK with not being extraordinary • Hacker News Board

Re: Being OK with not being extraordinary

#11

Post by throwaway1777 » Mon, Aug 24, 2020, 4:54 PM UTC

umvi wrote: post #2

> Climbing to a higher vantage point can also unlock new forms of extraordinary that you might have never noticed before. I read an article once about how the amount of work to get into the top tier in a single area is astronomical, but the amount of work to become top tier in a combination of 2-3 fields is attainable by almost anyone. For example, becoming a top tier statistician is hard. But becoming a top tier sta…

A relevant analogy is small fish in a big pond or big fish in a small pond. You are effectively making the pond smaller by going into a more specific niche.

Re: Being OK with not being extraordinary

#12

Post by mfer » Mon, Aug 24, 2020, 4:55 PM UTC

extraordinary is "Beyond what is ordinary or usual."

This word brings about three thoughts...

1. What is beyond ordinary? Who sets the direction? If it's more technical work, more creating, or more money... who sets that as a good or useful direction?

For example, a software developer who is ordinary as a developer but guides their children well could be extraordinary in that aspect. It may not make a list on the Internet but it is extremely valuable to people that (I assume) the software developer cares about.

Who is setting the direction for extraordinary we should care about?

2. Ordinary is normal. If everyone becomes extraordinary that because the new normal. The target is constantly moving.

3. Why does being extraordinary matter? Consider it for a moment. Should the goal to be contentment, happiness, or something else? Who is even setting the goal of being extraordinary anyway? Why would it make your (or my) life a good life?

Re: Being OK with not being extraordinary

#13

Post by ErikAugust » Mon, Aug 24, 2020, 4:55 PM UTC

“Fall in love with some activity, and do it! Nobody ever figures out what life is all about, and it doesn't matter. Explore the world. Nearly everything is really interesting if you go into it deeply enough. Work as hard and as much as you want to on the things you like to do the best. Don't think about what you want to be, but what you want to do. Keep up some kind of a minimum with other things so that society doesn't stop you from doing anything at all.” ― Richard P. Feynman

“Comparison is the thief of joy.” - Teddy Roosevelt

To me, "extraordinary" is a state of being rather than doing. Don't worry about what you want to be, but just what you want to do. Do things and be alive in the experience, and stop worrying so much about how you stack up against others. You're all going to die, live while you can.

Re: Being OK with not being extraordinary

#14

Post by wearsshoes » Mon, Aug 24, 2020, 5:05 PM UTC

ErikAugust wrote: post #13

“Fall in love with some activity, and do it! Nobody ever figures out what life is all about, and it doesn't matter. Explore the world. Nearly everything is really interesting if you go into it deeply enough. Work as hard and as much as you want to on the things you like to do the best. Don't think about what you want to be, but what you want to do. Keep up some kind of a minimum with other things so that society does…

It took me a long time to really believe quotes like that. It’s just not too convincing when the people quoted as saying “you don’t need to be extraordinary” are quotable because they’re extraordinary.

Re: Being OK with not being extraordinary

#15

Post by jennasys » Mon, Aug 24, 2020, 5:05 PM UTC

I agree with the premise here in general. There have certainly been times when I've wanted to accomplish something, but then I see someone else being exceptional at that task and I stop wanting to do it because I know I'll never be that good at it.

When you see someone doing something you do or want to do, and they are exceptional at it, it either becomes inspirational or discouraging based on just how extraordinary it is and how emotionally attached you are to the subject. If you are emotionally committed to it, seeing someone else doing it well will likely be inspirational. If not, you're more likely to give up before you even start.

Re: Being OK with not being extraordinary

#16

Post by shostack » Mon, Aug 24, 2020, 5:09 PM UTC

umvi wrote: post #2

> Climbing to a higher vantage point can also unlock new forms of extraordinary that you might have never noticed before. I read an article once about how the amount of work to get into the top tier in a single area is astronomical, but the amount of work to become top tier in a combination of 2-3 fields is attainable by almost anyone. For example, becoming a top tier statistician is hard. But becoming a top tier sta…

I first encountered this notion playing D&D of all things.

The concept of dual/multi-classing, and what later became prestige classes/archetypes in later editions was all about highlighting that the sum of the parts was greater than the whole.

There was a trade-off of course, especially in the early/mid levels as other solo-class characters started coming into their stride with higher-tier abilities. If you made it past that stage as you continued developing your other class(s), you really ended up with a unique character.

Re: Being OK with not being extraordinary

#17

Post by nserrino » Mon, Aug 24, 2020, 5:10 PM UTC

A fixation on being extraordinary tends to indicate too much self absorption and a lack of perspective. It seems like another antidote is focusing more on the impact you want to have on the world and those around you, even if no one ever knew about it.

Re: Being OK with not being extraordinary

#18

Post by postsantum » Mon, Aug 24, 2020, 5:10 PM UTC

dstick wrote: post #10

danhak wrote: post #4

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I like this idea very much. "Find your niche," in other words?

I remember reading this somewhere as well. If I recall correctly it was called something like “compound skills”. Could have been... Linchpin.

Skill stacking

Re: Being OK with not being extraordinary

#19

Post by hrnnnnnn » Mon, Aug 24, 2020, 5:11 PM UTC

jennasys wrote: post #15

I agree with the premise here in general. There have certainly been times when I've wanted to accomplish something, but then I see someone else being exceptional at that task and I stop wanting to do it because I know I'll never be that good at it. When you see someone doing something you do or want to do, and they are exceptional at it, it either becomes inspirational or discouraging based on just how extraordinary…

What can help here is to understand that you'll never be able to do it exactly like the person you're comparing yourself to because you are not them.

Conversely, no one else will be able to do it exactly like you. So figure out what it is about how you do it that's uniquely you and try to develop that.

Re: Being OK with not being extraordinary

#20

Post by tmatthe » Mon, Aug 24, 2020, 5:11 PM UTC

neutronicus wrote: post #9

I appreciate what you wrote, OP - moderating my ambition is both essential to my mental health and an ongoing process. I do not exaggerate when I say that in my case I believe the stakes are life and death. One thing that has helped me a lot to find peace here has been becoming a father. Culturally, it comes with a kind of license to finally just accept mediocrity which I find freeing. Bills are paid, I can watch my…

It's nice to hear that you've found some peace! There's no point in being the best if you will crash and burn quickly.