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Half of US adults say dating has gotten harder in the last 10 years

pewsocialtrends.org

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Re: Half of US adults say dating has gotten harder in the last 10 years

#11

Post by aahortwwy »

imtringued wrote: post #7
thhhhrowaway44 wrote: post #3

This is pretty much coincidental with the rise of online dating. Who could have guessed that trusting the adtech industry with your love life was a bad idea?

Why would online dating make offline dating harder? Unless you're young and in the LGB group most people find their partners offline. I think the truth is that dating is considered optional nowadays, which makes it more competitive both offline and online. People have minimum standards and if they can't find someone that matches these standards they can always stay single. I personally don't believe in online dating,…

> Why would online dating make offline dating harder?

By de-normalizing offline dating and removing participants from the offline dating pool.

> Unless you're young and in the LGB group most people find their partners offline.

In Australia, online dating is the single most common way that people meet their partners and it's not close (35% online, 21% through friends, 13% at work).[0] I would be surprised if this is dramatically different from other Anglosphere countries.

I don't like online dating because of how completely inefficient it is, but it's hard not to believe in it when it's becoming the de-facto way people pair up.

[0] https://www.abc.net.au/news/2019-11-26/australia-talks-natio...

Re: Half of US adults say dating has gotten harder in the last 10 years

#12

Post by aahortwwy »

jmeister wrote: post #5
thhhhrowaway44 wrote: post #3

This is pretty much coincidental with the rise of online dating. Who could have guessed that trusting the adtech industry with your love life was a bad idea?

Yet another instance of blaming societal ills on tech, instead of the supposedly freedom/agency loving users . Read Houellebecq or any dating advice forum, for arguments on how excess choice enabled by apps makes dating less egalitarian and ruins it for the “weaker” section.

Blame the users?

Do you think users are more interested in ARPDAU or love/sex?

Tinder-style profile-based match dating (which is basically all dating apps at this point) is bad at getting users love/sex but great at maximizing ARPDAU.

Dating apps which are good at getting users love/sex but have bad ARPDAU struggle to attract investment and either shut down or pivot to user-hostile design to save the business.

Blame the users, sure.

It's not just the "weaker" section who hate the online dating experience, either.

Re: Half of US adults say dating has gotten harder in the last 10 years

#13

Post by rdtwo »

ck425 wrote: post #9
dkdk8283 wrote: post #2

Side rant Reducing sexual encounters to normalizing consent forms is pretty ridiculous. A few creeps ruined it for all of us I am a man and if a woman asked me to sign something prior to sex I would leave

Sure signing forms might kill the vibe but the move towards enthusiastic consent and actually asking 'What do you want to do?' is great imo.

Lol is it like ordering a sandwich - avacado Cheese and bacon are extra cost but mayo and mustard are complimentary

Re: Half of US adults say dating has gotten harder in the last 10 years

#14

Post by the_jeremy »

burfog wrote: post #4

Half of US adults are women. Men, after aging for the last 10 years: "No, it hasn't gotten harder." Women, after aging for the last 10 years: "Yes, it has gotten harder."

> single-and-looking men and women report equal levels of dissatisfaction with their dating lives and the ease of finding people to date

The article is not long. Please don't make unfounded claims that are directly refuted by the article we're supposed to be discussing.

Re: Half of US adults say dating has gotten harder in the last 10 years

#17

Post by burfog »

tthrowaway4009 wrote: post #10
burfog wrote: post #4

Half of US adults are women. Men, after aging for the last 10 years: "No, it hasn't gotten harder." Women, after aging for the last 10 years: "Yes, it has gotten harder."

This is a well-spread stereotype but is it backed up by reality? At the bare minimum I'd like to know about HN's personal experiences during their twenties and thirties.

Back when OkCupid used to publish interesting statistics, they showed exactly that. It was dramatic and unmistakable. Male value starts low, gradually rises until about age 30, doesn't change much until about age 50, and then very slowly declines. Female value looks almost like a 1/age plot, starting very high and in a downward plunge. No data was available for females under age 18, but the graph slope suggests that value is higher.

Re: Half of US adults say dating has gotten harder in the last 10 years

#18

Post by burfog »

the_jeremy wrote: post #14
burfog wrote: post #4

Half of US adults are women. Men, after aging for the last 10 years: "No, it hasn't gotten harder." Women, after aging for the last 10 years: "Yes, it has gotten harder."

> single-and-looking men and women report equal levels of dissatisfaction with their dating lives and the ease of finding people to date The article is not long. Please don't make unfounded claims that are directly refuted by the article we're supposed to be discussing.

I carefully read it, determining that my claim was not directly refuted. The text you quoted is suggestive of that, but look at the actual numbers.

Re: Half of US adults say dating has gotten harder in the last 10 years

#19

Post by thhhhrowaway44 »

burfog wrote: post #17
tthrowaway4009 wrote: post #10

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is a well-spread stereotype but is it backed up by reality? At the bare minimum I'd like to know about HN's personal experiences during their twenties and thirties.

Back when OkCupid used to publish interesting statistics, they showed exactly that. It was dramatic and unmistakable. Male value starts low, gradually rises until about age 30, doesn't change much until about age 50, and then very slowly declines. Female value looks almost like a 1/age plot, starting very high and in a downward plunge. No data was available for females under age 18, but the graph slope suggests that…

What do you mean by 'value' and how is it measured? Like the raw response rate? An ELO rating as I hear some apps do? Or a google-style pagerank thing?
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