11–20 of 64 posts
There's a cost of ownership here and it's bigger than most people think. You see the success stories, the dramatizations ... Very few entrepreneurs are able to let go. At 5 p.m. At 3 a.m. On the weekends. On your wedding day. It can consume you, particularly if you've tied its success directly to your ego. Hard for me to not think about the late nights with the laptop. Even after getting married. Even after having a…
There's a cost of ownership here and it's bigger than most people think. You see the success stories, the dramatizations ... Very few entrepreneurs are able to let go. At 5 p.m. At 3 a.m. On the weekends. On your wedding day. It can consume you, particularly if you've tied its success directly to your ego. Hard for me to not think about the late nights with the laptop. Even after getting married. Even after having a…
What looks like a crisis is the end of an illusion.
When change is inevitable, we struggle most to keep what we value most.
When you create an illusion to prevent or soften change, the change becomes more likely--and harder to take.
I agree with this article, from a slightly different perspective. I’m a solo founder, company started 2015, went through accelerator, VC funding, etc. There’s a certain level of emotional stress I can handle, and with everything that goes into making a startup succeed, I was right at my limit for multiple years. Looking back (with my startup profitable, stable, running well), the thing I hate thinking about most is s…
28 is still very young - you'll be fine! I am also a founder, and do wonder sometimes if I'm not working hard enough - ie: stripping away everything in my life. I'm a bit older than you, and worked myself to the bone in my 20s without much equity to show for it - and now I pace myself a bit. That said, I often notice times where my 20 year old self would have simply not slept, and instead I sleep for 6 hours and call it a necessary compromise.
Sometimes I feel good about this, responsible. Other times I feel guilty, a slacker or worse: old.
Looking back, do you think you would have accomplished as much as you did had you balanced your life - for example, "spent" those 4 years going on the occasional date? I often hear the "yes, I burnt myself hard for my startup", from successful founders, and I don't often hear the conclusion to the thought: "would you have done it differently?"
Ideal moisture absorption texture (tears of emotion).
A precious snowflake will also melt Perfectly into this texture (produced from the pulp of trees, see recent paper mill explosion in Maine).
There's a cost of ownership here and it's bigger than most people think. You see the success stories, the dramatizations ... Very few entrepreneurs are able to let go. At 5 p.m. At 3 a.m. On the weekends. On your wedding day. It can consume you, particularly if you've tied its success directly to your ego. Hard for me to not think about the late nights with the laptop. Even after getting married. Even after having a…
You are trading that for the chance to strike gold. Which you might do, but more often than not, you won't. And then you might end up on the very same 9 to 5 job you wanted to avoid in the first place. And retire even later because you could have been building your 401k in that time.
I don't entirely agree with the concept. Going through stressful situations can either hack away at your being or it can help make you a more informed and resilient person. Pain can either be useful or useless. Physical exercise is painful. That's useful pain. Falling down and breaking your hip is useless pain. Many of the stressful and painful situations in starting a company are actually extremely valuable life les…
> I don't entirely agree with the concept. Going through stressful situations can either hack away at your being or it can help make you a more informed and resilient person. > Pain can either be useful or useless. Physical exercise is painful. That's useful pain. Falling down and breaking your hip is useless pain. In my experience it's not either/or, it's both. I've been in traumatic experiences during which I've to…
Amen. Once you are through then, and provided you survived the experience unscathed, then that might build a thicker skin.
Or it might not, and you start having issues requiring psychological treatment. YMMV
Glad to see this kind of stuff coming out into the mainstream. I think the author did a good job of normalizing and explaining this.
I was debating saying the following, for fear that the HN crowd will not like to hear it:
This is not just "coming out into the mainstream". This is mainstream, and has been for longer than the tech industry has existed. Many adults have always known this - it's not something unique to founders or startups. When someone outside of the tech world reads this, it merely reinforces their view that tech folks are less emotionally mature.
Take a look at the comments on this thread (about NVC):
https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=22746830
Search the comments for the words "emotion" and "feeling". Note how often the commentor pushes back on having a discussion about them.
And now note what this submission says:
> Regular peer-coaching sessions with other CEOs/founders (most helpful if both or one of the people has some knowledge of how emotional integration works, through NVC, therapy experience, etc.)
I saw some TV show where some guy said he flew more than a hundred missions in the Air Force and was shot at in all of them. He went into commercial real estate after he left the Air Force. He figured it would be less nerve wracking than that.
With nerves of steel, he made a killing.
I've spent plenty of time in therapy and journaling and what not to deal with serious trauma in my life. It's a valuable skill to have.
But I have some trouble imagining that business success is something I would deem to be some heavy emotional burden to bear.
I'm not trying to be dismissive. I'm trying hard to avoid saying something like "First World Problems." But I will suggest that if you are finding it hugely emotionally burdensome, you should make an effort to get some perspective because these really are good problems to have overall and many people live with much worse and absolutely didn't choose it.
It seems to me we are doing something really wrong if people have so very much emotional baggage from their success. I saw some TV show where some guy said he flew more than a hundred missions in the Air Force and was shot at in all of them. He went into commercial real estate after he left the Air Force. He figured it would be less nerve wracking than that. With nerves of steel, he made a killing. I've spent plenty…