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Ask HN: What utility function are you maximizing in your life?

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11–20 of 27 posts

Re: Ask HN: What utility function are you maximizing in your life?

#11
As much good time with people I love.

After thinking long and hard about this very question a few years ago, this is the utility function I decided on.

Good time - this isn't just about fun and games. This is about making time and being present for the most banal moments. People I love - that includes family, and friends, and also me. This means that if an activity is making me feel alive, I will do it, even if other payoffs may be elusive to nonexistent.

This segues nicely into people I don't know, because I think one form of care is teaching others what you know. So I spend a fair bit of time writing stuff I don't have to write, with no other personal benefit to me other than maybe helping other people get to that endpoint a bit faster. (I might gain some residual benefit as being perceived as a domain expert, but you could achieve that with zero-calorie social media posts as well, instead of investing all this time writing articles).

Like any utility function, this one comes with costs. For one, I'm probably not maximizing my earnings potential, and I often have to remind myself that making more isn't a value in its own right.

For sure, I don't always live up to my lofty goals. All the same, I find a succinct utility function helps serve as a compass for a lot of the decisions on how to spend time.

Re: Ask HN: What utility function are you maximizing in your life?

#12
post #11

As much good time with people I love. After thinking long and hard about this very question a few years ago, this is the utility function I decided on. Good time - this isn't just about fun and games. This is about making time and being present for the most banal moments. People I love - that includes family, and friends, and also me. This means that if an activity is making me feel alive, I will do it, even if other…

After much reflection recently, I fully agree with this. All that really matters in this world is the people close to you and how you affect their lives - how they remember you, how you color their day, all the stories you write together...

Re: Ask HN: What utility function are you maximizing in your life?

#13
Least future regret.

That is, when faced with a consequentional decision, I ask myself, "ten years from now, how much will I regret [not] doing this?"

I find this helps roll up a healthy combination of long-term thinking and YOLO-ness into a single easy metric. YMMV.

Example: I'm an introvert in my mid 30s. Lately I've been taking many more opportunities to bond with and make friends which I wouldn't have done for various reasons in the past. This is because I predict if I don't, I will sorely regret these missed opportunities in my 40s, when friendship is more scarce; this currently outweighs my predicted regret for the default alternative (spending that time focusing on career/family/personal projects).

YMMV.

Re: Ask HN: What utility function are you maximizing in your life?

#14
Free time, salary (from dev job only) and improving my skills. The goals right now are money and time to spend on holidays, hobbies, and hobby business. In the future when I have children, swap out hobbies for children (I live in the UK where it's cheaper to be a stay-at-home parent if you earn less than £ 22k).

Re: Ask HN: What utility function are you maximizing in your life?

#15

Least future regret. That is, when faced with a consequentional decision, I ask myself, "ten years from now, how much will I regret [not] doing this?" I find this helps roll up a healthy combination of long-term thinking and YOLO-ness into a single easy metric. YMMV. Example: I'm an introvert in my mid 30s. Lately I've been taking many more opportunities to bond with and make friends which I wouldn't have done for va…

Thanks for sharing! Sounds very similar to Bezos' mentality.

Re: Ask HN: What utility function are you maximizing in your life?

#16
I try new projects constantly which may be for pure personal growth or trying to make some extra money. So far tried youtube channel, blog, photography, music making, video making and such.

Few broke even but I am never short of topics to talk about. I always get intrigued by the process in all my projects, this way learning is less frustrating.

The flow of new projects keeps my inner fire burning and I really like learning and getting interested in new topics.

All of this are on the sides of my primary software career

Re: Ask HN: What utility function are you maximizing in your life?

#17

Vacation Time. I spent several years in my late twenties and early thirties working to increase my bill rate and shorten the length of contracts that I took. The plan was to eventually be that guy from the engineering joke who rocks up for an afternoon at your plant, draws a red X on the side of your boiler, and delivers a $30,000 bill. [1] I got to the point where I was travelling the world for most of the year ever…

I find myself exactly where you were in your early thirties, hoping to get where you are now.

Re: Ask HN: What utility function are you maximizing in your life?

#18
Death-bed regret.

I keep finding surprising consequences of such utility function: balancing daily energy, resting, active work towards higher purpose, enjoying time with friends, calling my parents, helping others, resolving relationship conflicts structurally, long-term investing and financial stability, more courage in general.

Re: Ask HN: What utility function are you maximizing in your life?

#19
post #18

Death-bed regret. I keep finding surprising consequences of such utility function: balancing daily energy, resting, active work towards higher purpose, enjoying time with friends, calling my parents, helping others, resolving relationship conflicts structurally, long-term investing and financial stability, more courage in general.

If you die instantaneously, your death-bed regret is 0, right?
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