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What happens when your career becomes your whole identity

hbr.org

11–20 of 277 posts

Re: What happens when your career becomes your whole identity

#11

My mother was very much like this. When she retired, she found it quite hard to re-adjust. Fortunately she has a few hobbies to fall back on. Personally, I find it quite a hard balance to get right. On the one hand, tying your identity whole-heartedly to your profession seems dangerous. On the other, being entirely apathetic about it seems like a waste of a life (that is, one spent mostly at work ). I try to hang som…

Love your job and you'll never work a day in your life. Live your job and you won't have any love left to give.

Very succinctly put!

Re: What happens when your career becomes your whole identity

#13
This anti-work ethic you see crop up once in a while is delusion. Success comes from perseverance, not idleness or detachment.

A few days ago, there was an article from some CEO claiming that you don't need to work hard to succeed. Today, we have an article from HBR cautioning about becoming too invested in one's work. This sentiment is dangerous. It's harmful to teach young people to be cynical, indifferent, and lazy, because the vast majority of progress really is made by the passionate and dedicated genius, not the detached crank-turner that HBR writers want impressionable young people to become.

Have a few people succeed without trying? Sure. They were stupid and lucky. Are you one of these people? Almost certainly not. Look at the history of science and innovation: the truth that emerges is that breakthroughs come not from relaxation, but from a combination of passion and hard work.

Re: What happens when your career becomes your whole identity

#14

“ The test of whether people love what they do is whether they'd do it even if they weren't paid for it—even if they had to work at another job to make a living. How many corporate lawyers would do their current work if they had to do it for free, in their spare time, and take day jobs as waiters to support themselves?” http://www.paulgraham.com/love.html If you aren’t honest with yourself about why you got into a pr…

I think there's a bias against (corporate) lawyers here. The ones I know would definitely do something very close to their day job.

Also, it makes it seem like there's an endless supply of waiter jobs lined up for the the taking.

But this has been debated at length on HN https://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2018/07/find-you... and https://www.theminimalists.com/cal/

Re: What happens when your career becomes your whole identity

#15
post #7

In my experience extreme workaholism can often be a way to avoid or defer major life decisions that someone doesn't want to make or even consciously recognize. High status careers are often structured, full of positive feedback loops, and well compensated, all of which can strengthen the urge to defer existential questions about meaning, purpose, community, and identity until some unspecified future date, even (perha…

A lot of those "major life decisions" end up being meaningless anyway. There are two things that survive you: your children and your work. Other pursuits are entertainment --- fine in small doses, paralyzing as objectives.

There is no such thing as "meaning", and your "identity" is your value to society. Wasting time on a pursuit of "meaning" is masturbatory.

Re: What happens when your career becomes your whole identity

#16
I love my job. My work is interesting. My peers are delightful. I’ve had great jobs and a great career.

My job is not my whole identity. It is 0% of my identity. It’s just a job. If I had FU money I’d peace out tomorrow and work on hobby projects in my spare time.

These days I feel like I’m the oddball. I don’t associate my job or hobby with my identity. I couldn’t tell you my “identity” if I tried. I’m a soup of likes, dislikes, hopes, fears, and more. I don’t really understand why people try to put their identity in a tight box with a neat label.

Re: What happens when your career becomes your whole identity

#17
post #7

In my experience extreme workaholism can often be a way to avoid or defer major life decisions that someone doesn't want to make or even consciously recognize. High status careers are often structured, full of positive feedback loops, and well compensated, all of which can strengthen the urge to defer existential questions about meaning, purpose, community, and identity until some unspecified future date, even (perha…

It's because when you're young, you're just happy to be making it on your own.

But I'm not sure everyone does reach the second stage. Some people seem to be content just living their lives and enjoying themselves without really wondering if they could have done more or whether they need to leave the world a better place than when they arrived.

I think maybe it depends on how much exposure to death one has had. Death tends to make one reevaluate ones own life, at least in my own experience.

Re: What happens when your career becomes your whole identity

#18

This anti-work ethic you see crop up once in a while is delusion. Success comes from perseverance, not idleness or detachment. A few days ago, there was an article from some CEO claiming that you don't need to work hard to succeed. Today, we have an article from HBR cautioning about becoming too invested in one's work. This sentiment is dangerous. It's harmful to teach young people to be cynical, indifferent, and laz…

It may be an effect of the economic bubble we're in. It's an ethos that doesn't survive a crash :)

Re: What happens when your career becomes your whole identity

#19

Think only problematic insomuch as your career doesn't equal your higher calling, i.e. your career is status driven or following the herd.

The problem is most careers don't really qualify as "higher callings".

Originally "higher calling" meant a much more important (e.g. scientific, humanitarian, patriotic, artistic, priesthood, etc.) not some person working up a management career in some BS enterprise selling BS through marketing...

So while a doctor might have his "higher calling" as career, I doubt that can be the case for the millions of corporate drones...

Re: What happens when your career becomes your whole identity

#20

This anti-work ethic you see crop up once in a while is delusion. Success comes from perseverance, not idleness or detachment. A few days ago, there was an article from some CEO claiming that you don't need to work hard to succeed. Today, we have an article from HBR cautioning about becoming too invested in one's work. This sentiment is dangerous. It's harmful to teach young people to be cynical, indifferent, and laz…

It may be an effect of the economic bubble we're in. It's an ethos that doesn't survive a crash :)

Yes. Kipling's gods of the copybook headings return in a rush when a stock market bubble pops. I wonder to what extent you can predict a crash by sensing when the mood of a society has disconnected effort from reward.
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