Scott Adams Has Some Ideas for a Calmer Internet • Hacker News Board

Re: Scott Adams Has Some Ideas for a Calmer Internet

#11

Post by Lammy » Sun, Dec 01, 2019, 5:41 AM UTC

favorited wrote: post #8

> “We live in a better world if we accept people’s clarifications and we accept their apologies, no matter whether we think—internally—it’s insincere,” he says. That's absolutely laughable. Why would people accept apologies they think are insincere? And how would that possibly lead to "a better world," except for people who spout nonsense then pretend they're sorry later?

> Why would people accept apologies they think are insincere?

Societal engine lubricant. There is too little time for every squabble to matter.

Re: Scott Adams Has Some Ideas for a Calmer Internet

#12

Post by Waterluvian » Sun, Dec 01, 2019, 6:24 AM UTC

Lammy wrote: post #11

favorited wrote: post #8

> “We live in a better world if we accept people’s clarifications and we accept their apologies, no matter whether we think—internally—it’s insincere,” he says. That's absolutely laughable. Why would people accept apologies they think are insincere? And how would that possibly lead to "a better world," except for people who spout nonsense then pretend they're sorry later?

> Why would people accept apologies they think are insincere? Societal engine lubricant. There is too little time for every squabble to matter.

I wish someone could teach me how to eject, with grace, from a conversation that's degrading into pettiness.

I don't care about winning or losing. But I don't know how to say, "whatever, moving on" in a way that itself doesn't get interpreted as further pettiness.

Re: Scott Adams Has Some Ideas for a Calmer Internet

#13

Post by lowtolerance » Sun, Dec 01, 2019, 1:30 PM UTC

favorited wrote: post #8

> “We live in a better world if we accept people’s clarifications and we accept their apologies, no matter whether we think—internally—it’s insincere,” he says. That's absolutely laughable. Why would people accept apologies they think are insincere? And how would that possibly lead to "a better world," except for people who spout nonsense then pretend they're sorry later?

[flagged]

Re: Scott Adams Has Some Ideas for a Calmer Internet

#14

Post by GhettoMaestro » Sun, Dec 01, 2019, 6:39 PM UTC

Waterluvian wrote: post #12

Lammy wrote: post #11

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Why would people accept apologies they think are insincere? Societal engine lubricant. There is too little time for every squabble to matter.

I wish someone could teach me how to eject, with grace, from a conversation that's degrading into pettiness. I don't care about winning or losing. But I don't know how to say, "whatever, moving on" in a way that itself doesn't get interpreted as further pettiness.

> I don't care about winning or losing. But I don't know how to say, "whatever, moving on" in a way that itself doesn't get interpreted as further pettiness.

I struggled with this for years. In the end I just settled on saying "Respectfully, I think we will need to just agree to disagree. No hard feelings." A few times I've had to drop the "This conversation is going nowhere good. Let's talk about something else."

Being direct is under-rated. I find people aren't offended when you do it, as long as you are maintaining some basic amount of social decorum / grace.