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Adult Day Cares in the Rio Grande Valley

texasobserver.org

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Re: Adult Day Cares in the Rio Grande Valley

#11

Post by toomuchtodo »

jen_h wrote: post #10
toomuchtodo wrote: post #9

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> My spouse and I have spent at least three months of this year helping older relatives, and I worry it'll consume a bigger chunk of next year. I’m curious about this mindset. Why would you worry about it consuming more time? Isn’t that what family is for?

Most people want to be independent and to have their children and grandchildren to visit as guests, not full-time caregivers. We are very blessed that we're in the position to be able to easily pop from state to state helping and can work wherever we happen to be, but at the same time, they want to live their lives independently, too. Also, think about where caregivers might have to relocate and how they might alter…

I’ve structured my career (work from home, not management, no on call) and my finances (in my 30s) so when my father needs care (my mother has already passed), we’ll move him in with us and if I need to take time off to care for him, I can. This is an implicit generational contract IMHO. My parents raised and cared for me for a third of their life, it would be unreasonable to not do the same in return.

Why would we expect others to do this work? Or that it would scale to do so?

Re: Adult Day Cares in the Rio Grande Valley

#12

Post by [deleted] »

toomuchtodo wrote: post #11
jen_h wrote: post #10

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Most people want to be independent and to have their children and grandchildren to visit as guests, not full-time caregivers. We are very blessed that we're in the position to be able to easily pop from state to state helping and can work wherever we happen to be, but at the same time, they want to live their lives independently, too. Also, think about where caregivers might have to relocate and how they might alter…

I’ve structured my career (work from home, not management, no on call) and my finances (in my 30s) so when my father needs care (my mother has already passed), we’ll move him in with us and if I need to take time off to care for him, I can. This is an implicit generational contract IMHO. My parents raised and cared for me for a third of their life, it would be unreasonable to not do the same in return. Why would we e…

[deleted]

Re: Adult Day Cares in the Rio Grande Valley

#13

Post by jen_h »

toomuchtodo wrote: post #11
jen_h wrote: post #10

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Most people want to be independent and to have their children and grandchildren to visit as guests, not full-time caregivers. We are very blessed that we're in the position to be able to easily pop from state to state helping and can work wherever we happen to be, but at the same time, they want to live their lives independently, too. Also, think about where caregivers might have to relocate and how they might alter…

I’ve structured my career (work from home, not management, no on call) and my finances (in my 30s) so when my father needs care (my mother has already passed), we’ll move him in with us and if I need to take time off to care for him, I can. This is an implicit generational contract IMHO. My parents raised and cared for me for a third of their life, it would be unreasonable to not do the same in return. Why would we e…

Have you also structured your finances so that you can take care of aunts and uncles and in-laws and grandparents? What about older relatives without help that live in different states? I think you're making a lot of assumptions about others here, and it (and all of the edits you're making to your comment) seems kind of silly and unnecessary. Have a nice night.

Re: Adult Day Cares in the Rio Grande Valley

#15

Post by toomuchtodo »

jen_h wrote: post #13
toomuchtodo wrote: post #11

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I’ve structured my career (work from home, not management, no on call) and my finances (in my 30s) so when my father needs care (my mother has already passed), we’ll move him in with us and if I need to take time off to care for him, I can. This is an implicit generational contract IMHO. My parents raised and cared for me for a third of their life, it would be unreasonable to not do the same in return. Why would we e…

Have you also structured your finances so that you can take care of aunts and uncles and in-laws and grandparents? What about older relatives without help that live in different states? I think you're making a lot of assumptions about others here, and it (and all of the edits you're making to your comment) seems kind of silly and unnecessary. Have a nice night.

Yes, I am willing and able to take in any family necessary, regardless of relation. If they’re unwilling to relocate, we are (I work from home, and we live light).

I’m not saying it’s easy, by any means. I’m saying it’s necessary, unless you’re financially wealthy enough to outsource all of the support services elder care requires, which most people cannot (I am not at that wealth level, but I can take time off to provide care).

My intent is not to poke at you specifically by any means, but to point out these are systemic problems the country will face as an older generation ages and the wealth doesn’t exist to provide them white glove service until death. The solution is not startups, it’s community and family (along with having enough savings, FMLA, and vacation time).

Re: Adult Day Cares in the Rio Grande Valley

#16

Post by Consultant32452 »

jen_h wrote: post #7
FreedomToCreate wrote: post #2

https://acl.gov/sites/default/files/Aging%20and%20Disability... Over the next 20 years, the number of elderly over the age of 85 is projected to go from 6.4 to 14.6 million. 10% of the population is over 65. That's a lot of people who don't work and need care in the next 2 decades. We are probably going to see a big uptick in Y combinator graduating companies who focus on elderly care.

I really hope so. There's a huge need for a sea change in eldercare. My spouse and I have spent at least three months of this year helping older relatives, and I worry it'll consume a bigger chunk of next year. One interesting bright light is that a lot of the startups targeted towards younger people are actually godsends for senior independence -- grocery delivery, meal delivery, ridesharing. Not to mention how much…

I believe this is an unsolvable problem. The math just doesn't work anymore. Back when exponential population growth was more of an option you'd just have 6 kids to spread the cost of elder care across. It doesn't matter whether you care for your parents or hire someone to, the fact of the matter is there is increasingly just not enough young people to provide the elder care and also perform the other kinds of productive work we need to get done in society.

Re: Adult Day Cares in the Rio Grande Valley

#17

Post by DoreenMichele »

toomuchtodo wrote: post #9
jen_h wrote: post #7

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I really hope so. There's a huge need for a sea change in eldercare. My spouse and I have spent at least three months of this year helping older relatives, and I worry it'll consume a bigger chunk of next year. One interesting bright light is that a lot of the startups targeted towards younger people are actually godsends for senior independence -- grocery delivery, meal delivery, ridesharing. Not to mention how much…

> My spouse and I have spent at least three months of this year helping older relatives, and I worry it'll consume a bigger chunk of next year. I’m curious about this mindset. Why would you worry about it consuming more time? Isn’t that what family is for?

There can be gender differences at play. As a guess, jen_h sounds like a female name.

Women tend to be saddled with caretaking work in a way that can easily be abusive. In some cultures, the social contract is that women get taken care of financially for doing the women's work, but that's not universal.

White American culture can be very ugly about treating women like they are all undeserving, lazy mooches who need a paycheck on top of their obligation to provide care for relatives. Not all subcultures do that.

So it's possible that there are both cultural and gender differences that involve a lot of implicit, baked in assumptions that neither of you are explicitly spelling out in comments and are the source of different viewpoints.

Without addressing such, you may be unable to reach some kind of agreement because you can't even effectively communicate.

Re: Adult Day Cares in the Rio Grande Valley

#18

Post by crooked-v »

Consultant32452 wrote: post #16
jen_h wrote: post #7

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I really hope so. There's a huge need for a sea change in eldercare. My spouse and I have spent at least three months of this year helping older relatives, and I worry it'll consume a bigger chunk of next year. One interesting bright light is that a lot of the startups targeted towards younger people are actually godsends for senior independence -- grocery delivery, meal delivery, ridesharing. Not to mention how much…

I believe this is an unsolvable problem. The math just doesn't work anymore. Back when exponential population growth was more of an option you'd just have 6 kids to spread the cost of elder care across. It doesn't matter whether you care for your parents or hire someone to, the fact of the matter is there is increasingly just not enough young people to provide the elder care and also perform the other kinds of produc…

Maybe we should start letting in all those young immigrants from demographics who have lots of children who want to move to the US.

Re: Adult Day Cares in the Rio Grande Valley

#19

Post by toomuchtodo »

DoreenMichele wrote: post #17
toomuchtodo wrote: post #9

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> My spouse and I have spent at least three months of this year helping older relatives, and I worry it'll consume a bigger chunk of next year. I’m curious about this mindset. Why would you worry about it consuming more time? Isn’t that what family is for?

There can be gender differences at play. As a guess, jen_h sounds like a female name. Women tend to be saddled with caretaking work in a way that can easily be abusive. In some cultures, the social contract is that women get taken care of financially for doing the women's work, but that's not universal. White American culture can be very ugly about treating women like they are all undeserving, lazy mooches who need a…

These are great points as usual. To be clear, my assumptions are simply that there are not enough available resources where elder care will be cheap and children will not be bothered with their care. Sacrifices will need to be made (but that’s an internal discussion for each family to make), and plans should be made accordingly. Hope for the best, but plan for the worst. Japan is a glimpse of what the future looks like, and technology/startups didn’t fix their elder care issues. People just die old, alone, and forgotten.

Re: Adult Day Cares in the Rio Grande Valley

#20

Post by jen_h »

crooked-v wrote: post #18
Consultant32452 wrote: post #16

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I believe this is an unsolvable problem. The math just doesn't work anymore. Back when exponential population growth was more of an option you'd just have 6 kids to spread the cost of elder care across. It doesn't matter whether you care for your parents or hire someone to, the fact of the matter is there is increasingly just not enough young people to provide the elder care and also perform the other kinds of produc…

Maybe we should start letting in all those young immigrants from demographics who have lots of children who want to move to the US.

Not to mention...those who are already here contribute billions of dollars to Medicare and Social Security every year -- just their existence in this country helps seniors (unfortunately, so much of the propaganda pointed at older Americans buries this fact).
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