The “Friend” You Only Spent 5 Minutes With • Hacker News Board

Re: The “Friend” You Only Spent 5 Minutes With

#11

Post by saltysnoot » Wed, Aug 14, 2019, 8:56 PM UTC

carlmr wrote: post #3

I have an iterative unfriending algorithm, because doing big clean ups is a mental task. Whenever Facebook notifies me that somebody has a birthday, if I don't feel like telling them happy birthday, I'll unfriend them instead.

So the key to remaining your Facebook friend is to not publish your birthday on Facebook!

Re: The “Friend” You Only Spent 5 Minutes With

#12

Post by c22 » Thu, Aug 15, 2019, 12:32 AM UTC

I always thought it was weird when someone sent me a friend request after meeting me one time. I made it my policy to ignore these requests and just let them sit. Then if I ended up meeting the person 2 or 3 more times and it seemed like we were connecting I'd hit "accept". Sometimes this would happen months later and the person would be surprised. They'd have forgotten they even sent the request.

Eventually I realized I wasn't getting a lot of value from facebook and left entirely.

Re: The “Friend” You Only Spent 5 Minutes With

#13

Post by carlmr » Thu, Aug 15, 2019, 7:01 AM UTC

saltysnoot wrote: post #11

carlmr wrote: post #3

I have an iterative unfriending algorithm, because doing big clean ups is a mental task. Whenever Facebook notifies me that somebody has a birthday, if I don't feel like telling them happy birthday, I'll unfriend them instead.

So the key to remaining your Facebook friend is to not publish your birthday on Facebook!

That's true. Also no annoying vacation diaries. If they don't get filtered I might unfriend you for those, too.

Re: The “Friend” You Only Spent 5 Minutes With

#14

Post by treebeard901 » Thu, Aug 15, 2019, 8:53 AM UTC

carlmr wrote: post #3

I have an iterative unfriending algorithm, because doing big clean ups is a mental task. Whenever Facebook notifies me that somebody has a birthday, if I don't feel like telling them happy birthday, I'll unfriend them instead.

A variation on this is to disable your account the day before your birthday, then re-enable it a day after. Then see who manages to still tell you happy birthday without the reminder from Facebook.

Re: The “Friend” You Only Spent 5 Minutes With

#15

Post by salehhamadeh » Fri, Aug 16, 2019, 3:51 AM UTC

tjpaudio wrote: post #8

I'll counter: There have been quite a few instances of FB friends like this in my life. I rarely deny a friend request or go on deleting sprees. If I meet someone doing interesting things, I'll be the requestor even. What happens occasionally is I find out someone I spoke with in person for only a few minutes, reveals over weeks, months, or even years, has very similar interests, humor style, etc. Comments on each ot…

The friendship with Albert is a shallow one that the main character is not interested in. The "friends" you are referring to are people you admire but do not know well. I definitely have some of those friends, some who are a source of inspiration for me. With these people, it's easier to enhance the friendship over social media than in person. For example, people who are into painting or photography upload their work online. Viewing, liking, and discussing their art would teach me more about them than talking in person.

I like your idea of "real friends" VS temporal friends. One problem with only having "real friends" is that people get hung up on them, and if circumstances separate them they'd have a harder time acclimating with the change.

Re: The “Friend” You Only Spent 5 Minutes With

#16

Post by sushid » Fri, Aug 16, 2019, 10:14 PM UTC

treebeard901 wrote: post #14

carlmr wrote: post #3

I have an iterative unfriending algorithm, because doing big clean ups is a mental task. Whenever Facebook notifies me that somebody has a birthday, if I don't feel like telling them happy birthday, I'll unfriend them instead.

A variation on this is to disable your account the day before your birthday, then re-enable it a day after. Then see who manages to still tell you happy birthday without the reminder from Facebook.

So.. like 5 friends?