I have had points in my life where I have had no friends; it really sucks. These periods would always compound my anxiety issues, my insecurities. Luckily, I am no longer isolated, and I feel so much better. I honestly believe that there needs to be systemic changes in society to solve this problem. For all my disaste for religions and other questionable institutions, they do provide a meaningful community that is a part of your daily life. You see the same people every week doing the same thing; it gives you that ritual we all need. I wish there was a community like this for us areligious folks.
22% of Millennials say they have no friends
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Re: 22% of Millennials say they have no friends
#12For me, friends happened naturally for the first 15 years of my life. When I lost all mine as I became an adult, I didn't know how to gain new ones.
Most of my old friends I met through other friends. But if I have no friends, that can't happen. It's a catch-22 of sorts. It's so much harder to meet people when you're not getting invited to social events!
I considered going to bars, but had no interest in that. I considered changing jobs, but had no interest in that either.
Ultimately, the best solution I found was meetup.com. I joined a bunch of random clubs on the site and met a bunch of quirky people. After a few weeks, I realized I wasn't lonely anymore. It wasn't even about friendship in the end. It was just about spending more face-time.
Re: 22% of Millennials say they have no friends
#13One of my first posts on HN was asking how people, especially ones working remote or in small offices, manage to deal with loneliness. I was overwhelmed by the number of replies, and saddened that it seems to be a really common issue. Part of the article says "Still, the findings on millennial are surprising." which... I think at this point you have to deliberately go out of your way to avoid articles on loneliness (…
>the majority of the time I find that the stranger I strike up a conversation with is just as eager to have a conversation I've attempted this a lot , as means to cope with spending enormous amounts of time in transient spaces such as airports, hotels, etc. (~300+ days/yr "on the road"). I've observed that age seems to be a huge factor in whether or not this actually works. As a millennial, I don't seem to have a lot…
Taking improv class, I got to meet a lot of people who - besides the acting part of improv - were basically interested in striking up conversation. I was a bit out of my comfort zone, but it was a good learning experience and it gave me a few skills to work with: now I go into conversations, and even small interactions, not just thinking about the business topic or whatever is on my mind, but about effortfully constructing an appropriate scene and being a character in that scene, in that momement. And that gives me more room to play with and to spot common "tactical conversation" methods.
Regardless, I'm still basically a quiet person and keep to myself in public - it's a thing I have to "turn on".
Re: 22% of Millennials say they have no friends
#14I bet it's mostly men too. We have to focus and get some kind of value through work of somekind if we are to have a chance of other's approval. A single man in his 40's with no wife or kids and no job is probably the lowest tier in society, and trying to avoid it is not an easy task.
I bet not.
Re: 22% of Millennials say they have no friends
#15[deleted]
Re: 22% of Millennials say they have no friends
#16I work from home full time. And I’m single; and I live alone. I often go through the whole workweek without saying more than a couple words to another person in real life. I wonder what this does to me over time. It probably isn’t good. It’s funny, too, I actually tend not to mind stretches of alone time. I get used to it. It’s when I oscillate between a day of being alone, and then a night out, then a day alone agai…
Same here, though I really really enjoy living + working alone (5+ years now). Tip: get a dog. Having a dog forces me to leave the house at least twice a day to go on walks, plus it's a great conversation starter with people around the neighborhood. Dogs are social animals and it's amazing how the simple act of loving and receiving love in return can improve emotional well-being.
Or get a spouse and some kids.
Re: 22% of Millennials say they have no friends
#17I work from home full time. And I’m single; and I live alone. I often go through the whole workweek without saying more than a couple words to another person in real life. I wonder what this does to me over time. It probably isn’t good. It’s funny, too, I actually tend not to mind stretches of alone time. I get used to it. It’s when I oscillate between a day of being alone, and then a night out, then a day alone agai…
Same here, though I really really enjoy living + working alone (5+ years now). Tip: get a dog. Having a dog forces me to leave the house at least twice a day to go on walks, plus it's a great conversation starter with people around the neighborhood. Dogs are social animals and it's amazing how the simple act of loving and receiving love in return can improve emotional well-being.
Minor adjustment:
Dogs are wonderful companions. But they do come with needs and stress of their own. They are no replacement for therapy, mental health, or social engagement. Get a dog because you want to care for and love a dog. Animals aren't remedies.