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Joy of Being a Woman in Her 70s

nytimes.com

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Re: Joy of Being a Woman in Her 70s

#11

Post by CoolGuySteve »

fizwhiz wrote: post #6

> We all suffer, but not all of us grow. Those of us who grow do so by developing our moral imaginations and expanding our carrying capacities for pain and bliss. In fact, this pendulum between joy and despair is what makes old age catalytic for spiritual and emotional growth. Never thought of it this way. An extremely humbling, optimistic and heart-warming read.

Reminds me of what Bob Ross said on his show after his wife died:

> Gotta have opposites, light and dark and dark and light, in painting. It’s like in life. Gotta have a little sadness once in awhile so you know when the good times come. I'm waiting on the good times now.

I'm not a Christian, but between Bob Ross and Fred Rogers, PBS really exhibited the best face of Christianity as a life philosophy.

Re: Joy of Being a Woman in Her 70s

#13

Post by JenBarb »

oh_sigh wrote: post #5
dominotw wrote: post #2

> happiness is a skill and a choice. but worrying about looks is not? > we feel free from the tyranny of worrying about our looks. For the first time since we were 10, we can feel relaxed about our appearance.

My wife worries about her looks, but only really in the sense of 'Am I going to get harrassed in the streets by skeevy dudes if I wear this?'

For me, it's really about finding a balance, especially in the work place. Trying to look presentable without looking "sexy". Trying to look old enough to be taken seriously, but not so old I can't learn new things.

I don't think worrying about it is exactly a choice, when how I look will have real-life effects on how I'm treated.

Re: Joy of Being a Woman in Her 70s

#14

Post by devereaux »

dominotw wrote: post #2

> happiness is a skill and a choice. but worrying about looks is not? > we feel free from the tyranny of worrying about our looks. For the first time since we were 10, we can feel relaxed about our appearance.

I worry about the code I write, but for some reason some people comment about the piece of cloths I have on my skin while the choice is most often utilitarian.

Re: Joy of Being a Woman in Her 70s

#16

Post by SolaceQuantum »

dominotw wrote: post #2

> happiness is a skill and a choice. but worrying about looks is not? > we feel free from the tyranny of worrying about our looks. For the first time since we were 10, we can feel relaxed about our appearance.

Worrying about looks is not a choice if it has real consequences on your career, especially when young. Women are especially pressured to maintain their appearance along many axises that are difficult to manage. This pressure presumably fades as one gets older according to the writer.

Re: Joy of Being a Woman in Her 70s

#18

Post by nmstoker »

It's great that this story can feature high up the rankings on HN. In spite of focusing on a group that (probably) has limited representation here, people can see the bigger picture and empathise with the points it makes.

Re: Joy of Being a Woman in Her 70s

#19

Post by porpoisely »

Couldn't you write this stuff of anything? Ultimately, isn't it just empty rationalizations that we all have to go through as we grow old or what we do given any situation? What the fox in Aesop's story did when he could get at the grapes? Just rationalize and move on.

People can write the "Joy of Being in Prison", the "Joy of Being Homeless", the "Joy of Impotence", the "Joy of Losing Your Limbs", etc. But is that really joy or rationalizations?

I'm failing to see what the point of the article really is and also, what is "news" worthy about this?

Re: Joy of Being a Woman in Her 70s

#20

Post by marchenko »

porpoisely wrote: post #19

Couldn't you write this stuff of anything? Ultimately, isn't it just empty rationalizations that we all have to go through as we grow old or what we do given any situation? What the fox in Aesop's story did when he could get at the grapes? Just rationalize and move on. People can write the "Joy of Being in Prison", the "Joy of Being Homeless", the "Joy of Impotence", the "Joy of Losing Your Limbs", etc. But is that r…

It seems from survey data that happiness really does increase in one's later years, after a nadir around midlife. So aging can be a joy, and younger people - especially those reading this in their 40s - may find it reassuring.
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